I am going to be a Texas Ranger
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Miguel's Mission"It is story of an honest Mexican Police officer
3 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for another entertaining chapter that shows significant improvement in paragraphs and length. Since I just sent that suggestion, it appears that someone else offered the same. The length is good; however, I would still try to shorten up paragraphs to make it easier to read for those who read 30,000 to 40,000 words a day on Fan story. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thanks for another entertaining chapter that shows significant improvement in paragraphs and length. Since I just sent that suggestion, it appears that someone else offered the same. The length is good; however, I would still try to shorten up paragraphs to make it easier to read for those who read 30,000 to 40,000 words a day on Fan story. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the encouraging words. I am learning to edit the work in the FanStory platform. Editing is not my skill so unedited stuff gets in front of readers. I am trying to make it better. I have a 300 page novel to edit before I put it here so I better learn the art. Mt appreciation and I am glad you liked the story.
Comment from lancellot
You seem to have a good story idea here. There are issues with the formatting, punctuation and some miswording. I will suggest that you print the story out and then have someone else read it out loud. That way you hear the language, and tell what doesn't sound right. When we look at what we have written, our mind fills in the gaps of things our eyes don't see.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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You seem to have a good story idea here. There are issues with the formatting, punctuation and some miswording. I will suggest that you print the story out and then have someone else read it out loud. That way you hear the language, and tell what doesn't sound right. When we look at what we have written, our mind fills in the gaps of things our eyes don't see.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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I agree with your points. I should use old fashion printing and editing techniques rather than directly editing. Time also is not on my side and I have caught few errors you mentioned but wanted feed back as quickly as possible. Thanks for your suggestions and review. By the way some of the errors are deliberate to indicate poor English speaking capacity of the speaker. I hope you are not referring to those errors.
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No, I never correct dialogue.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
I love this well tailored storyline. I love the settings and the path the storyline is trailing. Good morals is probably the theme or one of the themes of this story. Well managed minimal dialog.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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I love this well tailored storyline. I love the settings and the path the storyline is trailing. Good morals is probably the theme or one of the themes of this story. Well managed minimal dialog.
ola thomas
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Ola: Thanks for the kind and encouraging words. Yes the stories I believe have moral values, intended or otherwise. I appreciate the five star rating.
