Comment from hari anand

Excellent

Interesting thought of man smiling a desperate plea, what's going on in his mind could be any thought from sadness to sillyness. Mysterious in nature your naani poem is.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thank you.

Yes, I deliberately left the story open for the reader to interpret.

Steve

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

Hi kiwi. I like this little naani style poem as it reminds us that we never know what's going on in people's minds. Perhaps he's homeless or feeling suicidal. Very thought-provoking and well written. Good luck.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from mshirachot

Excellent

I've seen that desperate look on the faces of many...sitting on park benches, or on on the streets leaning up against the side of a building. Sad.

Thanks for sharing. Best wishes with the contest.
Blessings,
Marsha

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks, Marsha - glad this made a connection with you.

Steve

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

The sentence is simple, direct and clear. Yet some clue
as to the man's desperate need would be nice. Hunger? Loneliness? Addiction? no matter. What there is is clear to the point of excellence.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thank you.

I deliberately wanted to leave the back-story very open so that the reader could bring his/her own interpretation to the piece.

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Five good lines for the Naani contest. Well written and looks to me like a good entry into the contest. I wish you good luck. Warm regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks, Dorothy

Steve

Comment from jaeladarling

Excellent

A brief poem, but it packs a powerful punch. We never know what's really going on behind a smile. Nice work, and good luck in the contest! :)

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

How many times have we passed that "desperate smile" and simply continued on without asking if there were something we might do? I will admit I have done exactly that - and I do not say that proudly. This is exceptional - I hope you will accept my virtual 6. AT=/

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind words and the virtual six.

I like to post close to the deadline, but for site contests that is always late in the week when most have exhausted their supply of sixes...

Steve

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Steve;
a very efficient and more than adequate vision of a man sitting on the bench smiling at people who are passing by.
The imagery that is ingrained in the readers mind is one of being very expressive and with a serene outer presence to this feeling of calmness.
Thank you for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and good luck in the contest this is an excellent entry.
Alex

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks, Alex

Steve

reply by krys123 on 19-Sep-2014

You are so sincerely welcome Steve.
Alex

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

A desperate plea of friendship/fellowship for a lonely old man is what I perceive it to be. Very well done and a great naani entry.
teresa

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thank you.

I deliberately wanted to leave the back-story very open so that the reader could bring his/her own interpretation to the piece.

Steve

Comment from Trybuck

Excellent

Maybe it's time for the silence to be broken by the spoken word. Might stop a lot of people watching people with no actions taken.. Well done with your entry, Buck

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks, Buck.

Steve