Silence
Naani90 total reviews
Comment from Lost n Thought
I love the simplicity of this poem.
Great rhythm and word choice. I also like how detailed it is and how it really painted a scene in my mind. A lovely piece, great job!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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I love the simplicity of this poem.
Great rhythm and word choice. I also like how detailed it is and how it really painted a scene in my mind. A lovely piece, great job!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I like your poem although it is sad. It reminds me of the homeless or those without love. No changes. The color format emphasizes the aloneness that the man feels. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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I like your poem although it is sad. It reminds me of the homeless or those without love. No changes. The color format emphasizes the aloneness that the man feels. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from mjac777
Very good naani poem, mystery author. You set quite a "mood" and the last line clinched it. All rules followed - technically perfect.
It built nicely to its thoughtful, sad conclusion.
This is a strong contender for the contest. Good luck.
Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Very good naani poem, mystery author. You set quite a "mood" and the last line clinched it. All rules followed - technically perfect.
It built nicely to its thoughtful, sad conclusion.
This is a strong contender for the contest. Good luck.
Well done.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from juliaSjames
Hello Steve
Loneliness is a universal theme and you demonstrate it well in this naani.
For me the style of your write is more that of a statement with an aphoristic nuance than a poem. But the words carry great power.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Hello Steve
Loneliness is a universal theme and you demonstrate it well in this naani.
For me the style of your write is more that of a statement with an aphoristic nuance than a poem. But the words carry great power.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Julia.
Since it seems not even the experts can give a real definition of what a naani is or even an example that fits their own rules, this ticket into the lottery is probably as good as any other...
Good to hear from you.
Steve
Comment from artisart4u
Your naani poem is nice, and ironically it is true.
You forgot the bird food.
You have the right amount of syllables.
It is nice and the title is appropriate for the solitude.
Good luck with your poem.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Your naani poem is nice, and ironically it is true.
You forgot the bird food.
You have the right amount of syllables.
It is nice and the title is appropriate for the solitude.
Good luck with your poem.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I've never written one of these, Steve, but I just looked up the rules and they look interesting. This one you've written seems very powerful in producing an image of a very lonely person sitting alone on a park bench, desperately in need of someone to talk to. Very best wishes for the competition, Giddy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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I've never written one of these, Steve, but I just looked up the rules and they look interesting. This one you've written seems very powerful in producing an image of a very lonely person sitting alone on a park bench, desperately in need of someone to talk to. Very best wishes for the competition, Giddy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Giddy.
The rules just left me confused and it has been pointed out that one of the examples given doesn't even comply with the one definite rule about number of syllables!
That being the case I look on this as a ticket in a lottery - I have as much chance as anybody else.
Steve
Comment from L.M.Mullins
Exceptional crafted Naani poem my friend. Very thought provoke for so few words. "smiles a desperate plea" I love it.
Good luck in the contest.
Len
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Exceptional crafted Naani poem my friend. Very thought provoke for so few words. "smiles a desperate plea" I love it.
Good luck in the contest.
Len
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Len.
Glad you found the essence of this little piece.
Steve
Comment from emrpoems
Perfect naani structure having four lines and 22 syllables.
Good social commentary. There are many people w ho would fit this description in society today
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Perfect naani structure having four lines and 22 syllables.
Good social commentary. There are many people w ho would fit this description in society today
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from royowen
What a beautifully poignant beauty you've written here Steve, I love the sheer emotion you've woven into this short discipline, it's not easy to scribe anything meaningful in these short works, ye gads you've done it, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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What a beautifully poignant beauty you've written here Steve, I love the sheer emotion you've woven into this short discipline, it's not easy to scribe anything meaningful in these short works, ye gads you've done it, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Roy!
I appreciate your stopping by to review.
Steve
Comment from risktaker
I love the photo, and the message. I feel the hope from the man that he will be noticed and that someone will talk to him. We have many lonely people in the world because so many of us are self-absorbed. With the use of technology, we are having relationships with machines instead of people.
I prefer face to face, looking in one another's eyes.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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I love the photo, and the message. I feel the hope from the man that he will be noticed and that someone will talk to him. We have many lonely people in the world because so many of us are self-absorbed. With the use of technology, we are having relationships with machines instead of people.
I prefer face to face, looking in one another's eyes.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the generous review.
Steve
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