The horizon far away
The paradise so far away beyond the horizon of our world.3 total reviews
Comment from kwyattman
Wow! It does just what your author note says. Good job! The color you chose for your background and font made it really hard to read and there was no need for it. This poem stands on its own.
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Wow! It does just what your author note says. Good job! The color you chose for your background and font made it really hard to read and there was no need for it. This poem stands on its own.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
Comment from Pyrrho
Your color scheme makes thi impossible to read unless highlighted. Fix it.
If a 5-7-5 requires such detailed explanation to be understood, it needs to be rewritten and probably in another genre.
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Your color scheme makes thi impossible to read unless highlighted. Fix it.
If a 5-7-5 requires such detailed explanation to be understood, it needs to be rewritten and probably in another genre.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, welcome to FanStory and congratulations on taking the plunge with your first post.
I like your choice of theme for the 5-7-5 contest - wouldn't we all like to reach the peace horizon.
I thought you perhaps wasted some precious syllables with a rather ordinary middle line - in particular 'a place where' didn't seem to add anything of value.
Steve
PS Your choice of colours made this very hard to read on my laptop
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Hi, welcome to FanStory and congratulations on taking the plunge with your first post.
I like your choice of theme for the 5-7-5 contest - wouldn't we all like to reach the peace horizon.
I thought you perhaps wasted some precious syllables with a rather ordinary middle line - in particular 'a place where' didn't seem to add anything of value.
Steve
PS Your choice of colours made this very hard to read on my laptop
Comment Written 19-Sep-2014
