"Extreme Thoughts!
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Redemption, Follow, MY Command Man!"Dark thingsthat have followedme throughout my life
2 total reviews
Comment from lynglyng
great poem. Very detailed. full of description. This poem is so well written. I enjoyed the originality of it. I would not change anything. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
  |
great poem. Very detailed. full of description. This poem is so well written. I enjoyed the originality of it. I would not change anything. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014
-
Well it's good to be recognized and have your genius appreciated lynglyng.. 24.
Comment from drivenbackward
Interesting thoughts, Ricky, but too much SPAG. Notes to consider:
*hypnotized -- Why do you have a star here?
8imagine -- An 8 crept in there.
... ... -- An ellipsis is only three dots... Or four if you're using a period.
Once... Upon... A... Time... -- Pauses here read awkward. Consider revising.
tapped the"tree of Life" -- Check spacing of words.
give birth{for all of their worth} -- "
asfter -- Spelling error?
you hsad no chice but to surrvive! " -- Two spelling errors and spacing of closed quotations.
Poen Number Two -- Poem Number Two
human-being -- No hyphen.
from Satanic undertakings!' -- This is a closed single quote. Where did it open? And you used double quotes above.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014
 |
Interesting thoughts, Ricky, but too much SPAG. Notes to consider:
*hypnotized -- Why do you have a star here?
8imagine -- An 8 crept in there.
... ... -- An ellipsis is only three dots... Or four if you're using a period.
Once... Upon... A... Time... -- Pauses here read awkward. Consider revising.
tapped the"tree of Life" -- Check spacing of words.
give birth{for all of their worth} -- "
asfter -- Spelling error?
you hsad no chice but to surrvive! " -- Two spelling errors and spacing of closed quotations.
Poen Number Two -- Poem Number Two
human-being -- No hyphen.
from Satanic undertakings!' -- This is a closed single quote. Where did it open? And you used double quotes above.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014
-
Just finishing!
