Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Such a sad tale, by also very well written. Maggy and David, a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. At least, that's the way in which thrill seeker David looked at them and their relationship. But, Maggy was far from Bonnie material. She was no Sandra Dee either, but she also was nothing like bank robber Bonnie Parker. She did have a conscience, whether her ill fated husband did or not.

In the end, Maggy lost her soul mate, and David lost his life.

Live by the sword, and we perish by the sword.

Well done, and best of luck to you in the Surprise Me! flash fiction contest.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks so much. I appreciate the read and review.

reply by Dean Kuch on 19-Sep-2014

You are very welcome. :}

Comment from livelylinda

Good

Author: you have written a good story; a theme I haven't read recently and made it convincing. The contest rule is to surprise me . . . nothing in the story surprised me. The story led us step by step to its unenevitable end. Just my opinion. livelylinda

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

I'm delighted, really excited that my clues led to enlightenment. I'm honoured by your approval.

Comment from Cajungirl

Excellent

What a great short story. Poor Maggy a widow so very young. David was just an adventurous bad seed. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks so much.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the man who never grew up and the woman that loved him. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2014

Thanks a lot.

Comment from joann r romei

Excellent

This was very good, an interesting story, I did not notice any spag errors in this short work, good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Thanks, appreciate the read.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

Interesting short piece of prose with well drawn characters, good descriptions and flowing narrative. I guess the ending was inevitable for such a dare devil. Enjoyable story. Good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Thanks so much.

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

The last few words was disappointing. Flash Fiction. You wrote this so well I thought it was true. Best to you in the contest. Hope you win.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Thanks, I think. Disappointed? I guess you wanted a different ending, but I'm not sure what you might think it should have been, and am quite honestly interested.

reply by Ben Colder on 18-Sep-2014

I was referring to the words Flash Fiction. I thought it was true. It sounded that way.

reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Then I truly accept the compliment, but trust me, I admire your work and opinion and would consider it an honor to be trusted with your truth if you felt I let you or the integrity of the write down.

reply by Ben Colder on 18-Sep-2014

Lets win the thing.

Comment from JM

Good

This is a good story. For me, I could guess the surprise sad ending with the first two paragraphs. That's not a bad thing. For a minute there, I thought the sheriff was going to end up being Maggy's husband. I enjoyed reading this.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Thanks, appreciate the read.

Comment from Fridayauthor

Excellent

This is a very nice story that you could see as an extended piece. I'm not sure the ending is much of a surprise as the author leads us in that direction from the start of the story.

The descriptions are particularly nicely done.

Thank you.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Thanks, I do appreciate the read and comments.

Comment from Genya

Excellent

Yes, it was a surprise ending. All the way through l kept trying to think about what the ending was going to be. Were they to be married, a christening. Loved the story. Very well scripted, good plot and strong characters. I can see how Maggy was just pulled in by David. Obviously his parents never understood David, didn't seem to really care or he wouldn't have been like this in the first place. Really enjoyed this. Genya

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Sep-2014

Thanks so much. Always happy to please a reader.