Somebody's Fault
585 words22 total reviews
Comment from JOE L
tHANKS FOR CHOOSING MY PHOTO FOR YOUR EXCELLENT SHORT STORY . LOVE THE CONTENT AND COMPOSITION OF THE WHOLE STORY . KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK . WITH PEACE, JOE
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2014
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tHANKS FOR CHOOSING MY PHOTO FOR YOUR EXCELLENT SHORT STORY . LOVE THE CONTENT AND COMPOSITION OF THE WHOLE STORY . KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK . WITH PEACE, JOE
Comment Written 08-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2014
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Thanks for the pic. do appreciate the work on fanart.
Comment from TheSprite
Surprise indeed! We all thought it was a wedding. Parents can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.
Just a couple of housekeeping items:
When you wrote "sparking" eyes, did you mean sparkling or, did you mean sparking? :)
GEC -- Did you mean GED or did they change the name of that award? S.A.T. has all kinds of names and exams now so anything is possible!
Other than that, good story and congratulations! I wasn't fast enough to get my vote in.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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Surprise indeed! We all thought it was a wedding. Parents can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.
Just a couple of housekeeping items:
When you wrote "sparking" eyes, did you mean sparkling or, did you mean sparking? :)
GEC -- Did you mean GED or did they change the name of that award? S.A.T. has all kinds of names and exams now so anything is possible!
Other than that, good story and congratulations! I wasn't fast enough to get my vote in.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014
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You're absolutely right about sparkling eyes, a typo I missed and of course, Spellcheck didn't catch. GEC and GED are both correct, one meaning certificate and the other diploma, but when someone questions an acronym, I'm only to happy to change it so that it does not appear incorrect. In Canada, some of our common sayings and acronyms are slightly different. Thanks for pointing that out and leaving a review.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Ingrid,
surprised?... shocked, well, not really, you painted the picture all too well and I was expecting something along those lines, but wait a minute... I know the way you write, of course I'd have an idea to how your mind would direct this tale of young and dysfunctional love... but who could blame Mary for loving someone who made her laugh and feel good? Not me... you? So I didn't bother counting the words to as if it was in the range, but again I know your actions towards accuracy, so I'll leave it there... as always, a great write with entertainment value plus.
With our thoughts we create,
inevitability,
James xx
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Hi Ingrid,
surprised?... shocked, well, not really, you painted the picture all too well and I was expecting something along those lines, but wait a minute... I know the way you write, of course I'd have an idea to how your mind would direct this tale of young and dysfunctional love... but who could blame Mary for loving someone who made her laugh and feel good? Not me... you? So I didn't bother counting the words to as if it was in the range, but again I know your actions towards accuracy, so I'll leave it there... as always, a great write with entertainment value plus.
With our thoughts we create,
inevitability,
James xx
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, and yes I had 18 words to spare in my literary budget.
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Well the friends club seems to working so far in this prompt. xx
Comment from Charlene0513
Time has a way of catching up with one's bad behavior.
One too many strikes David sped out of control and left only remnant remains of what could have been.
Eventful but predictable after saying he was headed to be a real "Bonnie and Clyde."
Charlene
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Time has a way of catching up with one's bad behavior.
One too many strikes David sped out of control and left only remnant remains of what could have been.
Eventful but predictable after saying he was headed to be a real "Bonnie and Clyde."
Charlene
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thanks very much.
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of 'Somebody's Fault'. The story was a great little piece and maybe it should be turned into a full book with the incidents that the young spoiled boy went through. However, From the very beginning, I knew the story was going to end in his death, so it was not a surprise to me. Good luck in the contest. Carole
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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To the author of 'Somebody's Fault'. The story was a great little piece and maybe it should be turned into a full book with the incidents that the young spoiled boy went through. However, From the very beginning, I knew the story was going to end in his death, so it was not a surprise to me. Good luck in the contest. Carole
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thanks, some people think they can get away with murder.
Comment from Judy Couch
Your story is interesting and well written. It is too close to what often happens when parents don't teach their children to behave when they are young.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Your story is interesting and well written. It is too close to what often happens when parents don't teach their children to behave when they are young.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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That's where it all starts. Thanks.
Comment from sibhus
A well written story with great details that really fill out the story of your characters lifes in such few words. This makes for an excellent entry to the prompt. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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A well written story with great details that really fill out the story of your characters lifes in such few words. This makes for an excellent entry to the prompt. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thanks, I appreciate the review.
Comment from mommerry
Your story was well written and I liked everything about it until I got to the end -- they refused to attend the wedding - then it goes on to say no wedding had happened. The fact it was a funeral was fine but that line I refer to caused concern for me.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Your story was well written and I liked everything about it until I got to the end -- they refused to attend the wedding - then it goes on to say no wedding had happened. The fact it was a funeral was fine but that line I refer to caused concern for me.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Well you missed, what every one else understood. Yes, David's parents refused to go to the wedding. It was not stated that this day was a wedding. It was past tense, deliberately to fool the reader, as is a prerequisite in flash fiction. The last line explains it's David's funeral and they didn't make it to their FIRST ANNIVERSARY, indicating they were married.
As they were childhood friends, it can be no other anniversary.
Haven't had a four in a very long time. It's quite the experience and I guess it all came down to one misunderstood sentence.
Comment from Chrisfiore
Greetings SE,
Good little story. I always enjoy reading your fiction. This one is no exception. Flash fiction is a difficult genre I have trouble with, as you know, I am too wordy. Not the case here. ;) Chrisfiore
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Greetings SE,
Good little story. I always enjoy reading your fiction. This one is no exception. Flash fiction is a difficult genre I have trouble with, as you know, I am too wordy. Not the case here. ;) Chrisfiore
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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It's a great discipline and had really helped me a lot towards self-editing my longer stories. Thanks.
Comment from dennis0530
Wow! This really surprised me. Up until the very near end, I was expecting a wedding ceremony. The author has cleverly led me to believe this. The line "They refused to attend the wedding" snared me. More so because it came just before the "punch line." But that line punched me so.
With the author's leading lines linking Maggy to almost all of David's adventures and misadventures, I was contentedly settling for them to settle down.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Wow! This really surprised me. Up until the very near end, I was expecting a wedding ceremony. The author has cleverly led me to believe this. The line "They refused to attend the wedding" snared me. More so because it came just before the "punch line." But that line punched me so.
With the author's leading lines linking Maggy to almost all of David's adventures and misadventures, I was contentedly settling for them to settle down.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thanks, I really appreciate the read and review.
