If Joy Were Measured by the Smile
a poem in rhyming couplets140 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
"trucks on toy store shelves, up high,
all placed there so dad will buy." --->That's more like it, Brooke... LOL!
Smiles are gems, priceless jewels, gifts from one face, to someone else's. However, I think a child's smile is even more priceless. I'd much rather they be smiling than the alternative. That is usually accompanied by bouts of excruciating noises.
Excellent rhyming from start to finish
Good use of enjambment to keep the thoughts flowing freely from one line to the next
good use of alliteration, such as "like maps are measured by the mile..."
Just a happy-go-lucky, wonderfully written poem, all the way around.
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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"trucks on toy store shelves, up high,
all placed there so dad will buy." --->That's more like it, Brooke... LOL!
Smiles are gems, priceless jewels, gifts from one face, to someone else's. However, I think a child's smile is even more priceless. I'd much rather they be smiling than the alternative. That is usually accompanied by bouts of excruciating noises.
Excellent rhyming from start to finish
Good use of enjambment to keep the thoughts flowing freely from one line to the next
good use of alliteration, such as "like maps are measured by the mile..."
Just a happy-go-lucky, wonderfully written poem, all the way around.
~Dean :}
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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thanks so much, Dean :-) Brooke
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It was my pleasure as always, Brooke :}
Comment from angelface2
Aw, Brooke, I just love this poem. It makes me happy just thinking about all the smiles I have given and received. The rhythm is wonderful, as always. Love the pictures of Sawyer. :>D Miss Sally
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Aw, Brooke, I just love this poem. It makes me happy just thinking about all the smiles I have given and received. The rhythm is wonderful, as always. Love the pictures of Sawyer. :>D Miss Sally
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Miss Sally, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That is surely the truth when it comes to Sawyer. He does have an abundance of smiles. I doubt he will never run out of them at least I hope and pray he will not. Just look at them! What a guy!"I smile for every time I see a miracle made just for me." That's Sawyer. LOL Nancy
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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That is surely the truth when it comes to Sawyer. He does have an abundance of smiles. I doubt he will never run out of them at least I hope and pray he will not. Just look at them! What a guy!"I smile for every time I see a miracle made just for me." That's Sawyer. LOL Nancy
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so very much, Nancy :-) Sending you one of Sawyer's smiles :-) Brooke
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Thank you! That will brighten my day! LOL
Comment from drivenbackward
Excellent poem, Brooke. So natural and unforced in any way. Reads extremely smooth and has so much heart. What more can I say?
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Excellent poem, Brooke. So natural and unforced in any way. Reads extremely smooth and has so much heart. What more can I say?
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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drivenbackward, thank you so much for your gracious comments and generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from Ben Colder
I was about to get off this thing and get ready for the ball game when I spotted this. I looked earlier for Sawyer but to no avail. Thanks Brooke you made my day. Now off to win the game. Blessings to you bathtub boy and Grandmother.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I was about to get off this thing and get ready for the ball game when I spotted this. I looked earlier for Sawyer but to no avail. Thanks Brooke you made my day. Now off to win the game. Blessings to you bathtub boy and Grandmother.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Ben - what game are you about to watch and whom are you rooting for? Brooke :-)
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Arkansas. We need three in a row. Hope for a great season this year.
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I am more a follower of pro football - I will be cheering for the Eagles against the Redskins tomorrow :-)
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Always love the Eagles. Years ago when a boy my mother took me to one of their games. I will always remember the moment.
Comment from DSMalott
This deserves one of my last two 6's for the week.
Again, the flow and cadence were marvelous and the clever wording to capture reasons for smiles was so strong. The quatrain structure gave the you all the room needed to build your imagery and of course the rhyme scheme helped the stanzas sing!
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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This deserves one of my last two 6's for the week.
Again, the flow and cadence were marvelous and the clever wording to capture reasons for smiles was so strong. The quatrain structure gave the you all the room needed to build your imagery and of course the rhyme scheme helped the stanzas sing!
Nicely done.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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DS, thank you so much for your gracious and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from TAB_that's me
I think it would be impossible to keep track of all of Sawyer's wonderful smiles:) Great rhyming couplets and fun to read.
Teresa
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I think it would be impossible to keep track of all of Sawyer's wonderful smiles:) Great rhyming couplets and fun to read.
Teresa
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Teresa - I do believe you're right :-) Brooke
Comment from Father Flaps
Good afternoon, Brooke
This is one of your very best. You know, I've never read any of Lucy Maud Montgomery's books. She was a Canadian author, born on November 30th, 1874 and died on April 24th, 1942. She was better known as "Maud" to her friends and family. She wrote "Anne of Green Gables", published in 1908, and an immediate success. I really should read her books, for she was a fabulous writer. Like you. You really need to share your poems with a greater audience. Any publisher could see your talent. It boils over. You really need to consider being published. I do watch the actress, Megan Follows, who played Anne in "Green Gables" and subsequent stories. She is as fine an actress as Lucy Montgomery was a writer. She has an audience, same as Montgomery. And there's an audience waiting for you too. As wonderful a little boy as Sawyer is, there are many kids as well out there who are waiting for your poems.
Sawyer's pics are terrific. Our Alyssa loves the tub, and we have little rubber ducks for her each time.
I love your opening verse, all that alliteration with "m"
"If joy were measured by the smile
like maps are measured by the mile
and life is measured off in time,
how could I ever measure mine?"
Lots of other alliteration examples,
"bubbles bursting"
"green of grass and red of roses"
"sights I see and sounds I hear"
"can't complete this counting task"
I like the repetition of
"If joy is measured by the smile"... because it's so easy to tell Sawyer's life is filled with joy.
At his young age, he is happy for all the things God provides. The joy is there on his face. Where does joy go when we grow up?
Nicely penned, Brooke!
your ardent fan,
Kimbob
p.s. I'd give you more stars if I could.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Good afternoon, Brooke
This is one of your very best. You know, I've never read any of Lucy Maud Montgomery's books. She was a Canadian author, born on November 30th, 1874 and died on April 24th, 1942. She was better known as "Maud" to her friends and family. She wrote "Anne of Green Gables", published in 1908, and an immediate success. I really should read her books, for she was a fabulous writer. Like you. You really need to share your poems with a greater audience. Any publisher could see your talent. It boils over. You really need to consider being published. I do watch the actress, Megan Follows, who played Anne in "Green Gables" and subsequent stories. She is as fine an actress as Lucy Montgomery was a writer. She has an audience, same as Montgomery. And there's an audience waiting for you too. As wonderful a little boy as Sawyer is, there are many kids as well out there who are waiting for your poems.
Sawyer's pics are terrific. Our Alyssa loves the tub, and we have little rubber ducks for her each time.
I love your opening verse, all that alliteration with "m"
"If joy were measured by the smile
like maps are measured by the mile
and life is measured off in time,
how could I ever measure mine?"
Lots of other alliteration examples,
"bubbles bursting"
"green of grass and red of roses"
"sights I see and sounds I hear"
"can't complete this counting task"
I like the repetition of
"If joy is measured by the smile"... because it's so easy to tell Sawyer's life is filled with joy.
At his young age, he is happy for all the things God provides. The joy is there on his face. Where does joy go when we grow up?
Nicely penned, Brooke!
your ardent fan,
Kimbob
p.s. I'd give you more stars if I could.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Kim Bob, thank you so much for your encouragement, you wonderful comments and your generous wish for more stars :-) I don't think I ever actually read Anne of Green Gables either. I've certainly heard of it. Guess I should :-) Brooke
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Have you ever seen Megan Follows? Here she is at seventeen, in her actual audition for the orphan girl, Anne (with an "e") Shirley. She beat out 3000 other girls! You would love the story, Brooke. You'd simply love it.
http://youtu.be/YBA1udq8ZNQ
Comment from Matoshka
I sat here smiling at the thought of you measuring all the smiles, Sawyer, gives you. It would take forever. You are so blessed and share with us your joy. Blessings, my friend, I love it.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I sat here smiling at the thought of you measuring all the smiles, Sawyer, gives you. It would take forever. You are so blessed and share with us your joy. Blessings, my friend, I love it.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Matoshka :-) Brooke
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So very welcome. Blessins:))
Comment from Kaila Mari
You bring cooling to my battered ego with your refreshing lyrics. Whenever I feel pounded into the ground and that really I have no talent for writing, you inspire me to keep on going. I know I do not write like you, but you do inspire and soothe my soul. Thanks!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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You bring cooling to my battered ego with your refreshing lyrics. Whenever I feel pounded into the ground and that really I have no talent for writing, you inspire me to keep on going. I know I do not write like you, but you do inspire and soothe my soul. Thanks!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Kaila, what a lovely thing to say. I am moved :-) Brooke
