I Couldn't See the Moon
quatrains in 8/6/8/6166 total reviews
Comment from lakeport
I could not see the moon,indeed beautiful nature, that's a beautiful expressed poem, very nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it,God bless you.Hugs!Lakeport.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
I could not see the moon,indeed beautiful nature, that's a beautiful expressed poem, very nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it,God bless you.Hugs!Lakeport.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Erich, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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you are very welcome.Hugs!lakeport.
Comment from amahra
I couldn't see the moon tonight,
but I did not despair,
for waves kept rolling with the tides
to prove the moon was there. [This stanza is beautifully stressed with accurate science and poetic flare) I love it when poets do that.
Beautifully crafted poem all around. Loved the stunning golden art work you chose to showcase the poem.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
I couldn't see the moon tonight,
but I did not despair,
for waves kept rolling with the tides
to prove the moon was there. [This stanza is beautifully stressed with accurate science and poetic flare) I love it when poets do that.
Beautifully crafted poem all around. Loved the stunning golden art work you chose to showcase the poem.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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amahra, thank you so much for your generous and gracious review :-) Brooke
Comment from Goodauthor
Please receive a virtual six as I have used my quota for this week. This was well worth one of those, for it is so true, the sun shines everywhere, even though the clouds. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
Please receive a virtual six as I have used my quota for this week. This was well worth one of those, for it is so true, the sun shines everywhere, even though the clouds. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Thanks so very much, Goodauthor :-) Brooke
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You're welcome.
Comment from GracieAnn
Brooke, this is a lovely poem with great thyme and meter. Yes, if one looks deeper it is a great example of faith. Faith stays even when the eyes do not see a demonstration of it. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
Brooke, this is a lovely poem with great thyme and meter. Yes, if one looks deeper it is a great example of faith. Faith stays even when the eyes do not see a demonstration of it. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Gracie, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from DR DIP
THE QUEEN OF ABCB RHYME strikes again!
You certainly have this rhyme format down pat Brooke
just one little slip up:
While I saw but a bank of clouds
that filled the sky to full,
the waters from the ocean's depths
still felt old Luna's pull.
When referring to the moon, I think you mean lunar's pull
Love the repetition of the theme phrase between the sun and the moon in:
I couldn't see the moon tonight,
and
I couldn't see the sun today
great work
dip
great poem
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
THE QUEEN OF ABCB RHYME strikes again!
You certainly have this rhyme format down pat Brooke
just one little slip up:
While I saw but a bank of clouds
that filled the sky to full,
the waters from the ocean's depths
still felt old Luna's pull.
When referring to the moon, I think you mean lunar's pull
Love the repetition of the theme phrase between the sun and the moon in:
I couldn't see the moon tonight,
and
I couldn't see the sun today
great work
dip
great poem
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, dip - nope, I mean Luna, a name for the moon :-)
Brooke
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whatever lol
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I don't quite get your reaction, as if you again think I'm justifying something that is wrong. She is the Roman goddess of the moon often used in literature to personify the moon. This isn't an example of my refusing to revise for a better option, my friend.
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you know brooke after I made the comment I realised tahat you used Luna's as a proper non as in name and not the adjective..thats the whole difference between someone twhose life is based around the perfection and teaching of the English language nearly all their life. I had never heard of the this goddess so there in lies my total ignorance..YOU ARE right I should just shut the fk up and just enjoy what you write..and here's me thinking I knew something you didn't fk how stupid am I lol
apology sought on knees with cap in hand?
but not for the other times when I have suggested improvement and you just fob me off like a pleb that I am ( sobs in the corner with his keyboard between his legs..NEVER will I doubt you again!! haha
xxdip
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thank you for the smile, dip :-)
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if you only knew how much I DO smile as I write my reviews..seriously..I don't know what a frown is!! lol
xxdip
Comment from Sarah Butterfly
Beautiful piece with just the right picture to complement the poem. Nice rhyme. Fluently written and very understandable. Nicely done.
Kind regards
Sarah
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
Beautiful piece with just the right picture to complement the poem. Nice rhyme. Fluently written and very understandable. Nicely done.
Kind regards
Sarah
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Sarah, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from boxergirl
A nice presentation of your poem, Brooke. The ABCB rhyme scheme works well and the personification of the fog invading dawn provides great imagery. I got a spiritual message from this one - even though we don't see God, I think about all of his creation - and I know He is there. 8-)
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
A nice presentation of your poem, Brooke. The ABCB rhyme scheme works well and the personification of the fog invading dawn provides great imagery. I got a spiritual message from this one - even though we don't see God, I think about all of his creation - and I know He is there. 8-)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, boxergirl, for your insightful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from rod007
You depict well nature's apparently hidden treasure. The moon, sun and clouds are there but sometimes they like to play hide and seek which must be most amusing for Sawyer. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
You depict well nature's apparently hidden treasure. The moon, sun and clouds are there but sometimes they like to play hide and seek which must be most amusing for Sawyer. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Lost n Thought
This is a lovely poem! I especially enjoy the first stanza, the words are so smooth and fit together so well. I also like the how everything is tied together at the end. A beautiful piece, great job!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
This is a lovely poem! I especially enjoy the first stanza, the words are so smooth and fit together so well. I also like the how everything is tied together at the end. A beautiful piece, great job!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Lost n Thought, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from emrpoems
Solid abcb rhymes in your 8/6/8/6 quatrains
As usual good use of alliteration
good use of enjambment
and an excellent commentary
this reminds me so much about our faith. even though we cannot not see something doesn't mean it is not there.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
Solid abcb rhymes in your 8/6/8/6 quatrains
As usual good use of alliteration
good use of enjambment
and an excellent commentary
this reminds me so much about our faith. even though we cannot not see something doesn't mean it is not there.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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emrpoems, thank you so much :-) Brooke