I Couldn't See the Moon
quatrains in 8/6/8/6166 total reviews
Comment from BLACKDYKE
So innovative Brooke,an old subject
yet a completely new idea, well, to
me anyway. 'And set aside my doubt'
beautifully spoken. Each verse as the
one before yet so different. Very
very pleasant read, and a good
picture to accompany. Eric
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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So innovative Brooke,an old subject
yet a completely new idea, well, to
me anyway. 'And set aside my doubt'
beautifully spoken. Each verse as the
one before yet so different. Very
very pleasant read, and a good
picture to accompany. Eric
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Eric, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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My pleasure
Comment from His Grayness
Oh, Brooke, you just keep them beauties a comin' like the sweet flowing winds of spring, so full of life and reality and containing so much sincere 'gratitude" for everything. I loved it greatly! Thanks, Vance
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Oh, Brooke, you just keep them beauties a comin' like the sweet flowing winds of spring, so full of life and reality and containing so much sincere 'gratitude" for everything. I loved it greatly! Thanks, Vance
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Vance, thank you so much for your generous and gracious review :-) Brooke
Comment from GeraldS
This is excellent as usual. I have one suggestion though. In the last stanza the word 'about' is repeated between the second and third lines. You might consider "I remember the flow of tides" instead of "I think about the flow of tides." Just my idea, for what it's worth.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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This is excellent as usual. I have one suggestion though. In the last stanza the word 'about' is repeated between the second and third lines. You might consider "I remember the flow of tides" instead of "I think about the flow of tides." Just my idea, for what it's worth.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, Gerald. I'll take a look at that line. Brooke
Comment from Max Edon
When I woke this morning it was very foggy. I was grumbling and complaining about it. Now I have a new outlook on fog! This was a very lovely poem.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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When I woke this morning it was very foggy. I was grumbling and complaining about it. Now I have a new outlook on fog! This was a very lovely poem.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2014
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Max, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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You are welcome
Comment from Father Flaps
Oh boy, Brooke. You slammed this one home. The message I took from this,
"When I can't see what still is there
for dark looms all about,
I think about the flow of tides
and set aside my doubt." ... God is still there, even when journalists have their heads chopped off, even when children cry, even when evil lurks around every corner. Though "dark looms all about", God is there, like the tide. So why worry? God is in control. We must believe that.
Your poem reminds me of a song I used to sing in my concerts, "He Is There" by Dallas Holm, from his 1979 album "All That Matters". Here's a link:
http://youtu.be/sG3K3k1IShk
I especially like the personification in these lines,
"still felt old Luna's pull"
"when fog invaded dawn"
and the alliteration in this line,
"as buds burst into bloom"
Nicely penned, and a wonderful reminder that God is still there in the darkness.
your fan,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Oh boy, Brooke. You slammed this one home. The message I took from this,
"When I can't see what still is there
for dark looms all about,
I think about the flow of tides
and set aside my doubt." ... God is still there, even when journalists have their heads chopped off, even when children cry, even when evil lurks around every corner. Though "dark looms all about", God is there, like the tide. So why worry? God is in control. We must believe that.
Your poem reminds me of a song I used to sing in my concerts, "He Is There" by Dallas Holm, from his 1979 album "All That Matters". Here's a link:
http://youtu.be/sG3K3k1IShk
I especially like the personification in these lines,
"still felt old Luna's pull"
"when fog invaded dawn"
and the alliteration in this line,
"as buds burst into bloom"
Nicely penned, and a wonderful reminder that God is still there in the darkness.
your fan,
Kimbob
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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thank you so much, Kimbob - I'll visit you tube in a while :-) I truly appreciate your generous sixth star. I am particularly pleased with this poem, so it means a lot. :-) Brooke
Comment from heyjude
Brooke, well done. I like this. It is hard to see
the sun at times with trials looming over us, but
we still know it's there.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Brooke, well done. I like this. It is hard to see
the sun at times with trials looming over us, but
we still know it's there.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Judy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
Wow! You hit the nail on the head with this one. I just love it. Beautifully written with such awesome imagery I could feel the pull of the moon, the fog and the flowers blooming. Marvelous work with this one. Definitely a 6 as far as I am concerned.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Wow! You hit the nail on the head with this one. I just love it. Beautifully written with such awesome imagery I could feel the pull of the moon, the fog and the flowers blooming. Marvelous work with this one. Definitely a 6 as far as I am concerned.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Valerie, thank you so much, my friend :-) I'm particularly pleased with this one, so I appreciate your sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from angelface2
I love this picture to go with your very nice poem. I sure enjoyed reading it. As always the rhythm is so very good. We had some fog early this morning, but sun shines now, once in a while. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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I love this picture to go with your very nice poem. I sure enjoyed reading it. As always the rhythm is so very good. We had some fog early this morning, but sun shines now, once in a while. Miss Sally
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Miss Sally, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Adewpearl: Well written and fun knowing that the sky always changes. I like your word choices with the buds burst into bloom and wake the sleeping fawn with great visuals in your poem!
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Adewpearl: Well written and fun knowing that the sky always changes. I like your word choices with the buds burst into bloom and wake the sleeping fawn with great visuals in your poem!
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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flylikeaneagle, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from rjuselius
This is a pure gem! The imagery is delightful! A nice warm-hearted philosophical piece of poetic art! Good one!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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This is a pure gem! The imagery is delightful! A nice warm-hearted philosophical piece of poetic art! Good one!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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rebekka, thank you so very much for your gracious and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
