Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Born Enemies: Soon To Meet"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
19 total reviews
Comment from nordicgirl
This has turned into an intriguing story and the undertone of the two souls reaching out through these trying times is devastating.
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This has turned into an intriguing story and the undertone of the two souls reaching out through these trying times is devastating.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2014
Comment from Green Lake Girl
A riveting tale, Mikey, my boy. Curious; where do you come up with all these names? Allutia is torn, but I believe she does the right thing. On to the next chapter . . .
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A riveting tale, Mikey, my boy. Curious; where do you come up with all these names? Allutia is torn, but I believe she does the right thing. On to the next chapter . . .
Comment Written 18-Sep-2014
Comment from seaglass
Now I know where my crazy dreams come from. lol Now she realizes who he is it should be a difficult challenge on her emotions about him. I've got a feeling he won't survive long enough to know the connection, himself.
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Now I know where my crazy dreams come from. lol Now she realizes who he is it should be a difficult challenge on her emotions about him. I've got a feeling he won't survive long enough to know the connection, himself.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
Comment from ravenblack
I like the way in which you have the past life's surface in Sound' s dreams. It does fit in with what the ancient Romans considered to be Oracle's.
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I like the way in which you have the past life's surface in Sound' s dreams. It does fit in with what the ancient Romans considered to be Oracle's.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
Comment from faragon
I like how you have incorporated the mother having the same recognition ability as Sound and Vision. It would be interesting to hear the narrator/Magic's view on this development.
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I like how you have incorporated the mother having the same recognition ability as Sound and Vision. It would be interesting to hear the narrator/Magic's view on this development.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
Comment from Darkhorse555
this held me for a moment mikey really excellent vision transfixed on some point in a cloudless sky very beautifully penned pal most enjoyable read dear friend
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this held me for a moment mikey really excellent vision transfixed on some point in a cloudless sky very beautifully penned pal most enjoyable read dear friend
Comment Written 17-Sep-2014
Comment from Sankey
Good chapter mate. I am cruising through nicely now. Very exciting and a bit of a mystery as to whom is gonna be the victor in it all.
Some spags/suggestions for ya.... con(t)inue the story now in the slave quarters
we continue on (at our current)our pace,
through (than)the Romans could possibly anticipate.
They would be in action much sooner than Artabanus (had ?previously??)anticipated.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Good chapter mate. I am cruising through nicely now. Very exciting and a bit of a mystery as to whom is gonna be the victor in it all.
Some spags/suggestions for ya.... con(t)inue the story now in the slave quarters
we continue on (at our current)our pace,
through (than)the Romans could possibly anticipate.
They would be in action much sooner than Artabanus (had ?previously??)anticipated.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Glad your liking this. I'm having more fun with it now that the cavemen are in the past. Puter is down. So on the phone. Back up soon, I hope.
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Look 4ward 2 some more excitement soon got 2 chapters up in new 4mat atm
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Look 4ward 2 some more excitement soon got 2 chapters up in new 4mat atm
Comment from Linda Engel
The story is so enjoyable and I like that you show us how confused Allutia's mind is when she feels so strongly of past lives and events. She knows her father is coming to destroy and she should feel glad but her heart tells a different story.
Very good dialogue between characters , however I was not sure she would refer to her aunt as Auntie. Probably would
just call her by her name.
You have a very good insight for history and believable events. well done
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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The story is so enjoyable and I like that you show us how confused Allutia's mind is when she feels so strongly of past lives and events. She knows her father is coming to destroy and she should feel glad but her heart tells a different story.
Very good dialogue between characters , however I was not sure she would refer to her aunt as Auntie. Probably would
just call her by her name.
You have a very good insight for history and believable events. well done
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Hi. Computer is down. On my phone. Great input! Still trying to come up with a word other than auntie. Agree, that doesn't fit. Great review. Thank you!
Comment from amanda98653
Wow!
Did you just step out of an ancient city or something? This chapter is phenomenal!
"Danaria approached Allutia, who stared above the horizon as though transfixed on some point in a cloudless sky. "You appear bewitched by a ghost in the sky, Allutia. What troubles you?"
"I have enjoyed the company of my enemy. He extends me courtesy and I am loathe to dissuade him. My father's most reviled enemy. The enslaver of my people."
exceptional tone and phrasing!
"My dreams are without meaning. Pictures of people living like animals. Pictures of animals that are not of Earth. Yet, it is all familiar somehow. But, what does any of that have to do with this."
dreams serving as an allusion-- awesomeness!
one suggestion:
"No(,) (t)hat is my own mind telling me (the) foolishness (of it all)."
can't wait to read the next chapter!
hugs
Amanda
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Wow!
Did you just step out of an ancient city or something? This chapter is phenomenal!
"Danaria approached Allutia, who stared above the horizon as though transfixed on some point in a cloudless sky. "You appear bewitched by a ghost in the sky, Allutia. What troubles you?"
"I have enjoyed the company of my enemy. He extends me courtesy and I am loathe to dissuade him. My father's most reviled enemy. The enslaver of my people."
exceptional tone and phrasing!
"My dreams are without meaning. Pictures of people living like animals. Pictures of animals that are not of Earth. Yet, it is all familiar somehow. But, what does any of that have to do with this."
dreams serving as an allusion-- awesomeness!
one suggestion:
"No(,) (t)hat is my own mind telling me (the) foolishness (of it all)."
can't wait to read the next chapter!
hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 16-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Just remembering my childhood. :) glad you are liking! On my phone. Computer crashed. Back soon!! Thank you! Mikey
Comment from emrpoems
We (coninue) the story-- continue
Well written chapter keeping the reader interested all along.
You have written as if you have a good knowledge of the military and war strategy. loved the way Allutia is wavering between the feelings she has for her master and her allegiance to her people
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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We (coninue) the story-- continue
Well written chapter keeping the reader interested all along.
You have written as if you have a good knowledge of the military and war strategy. loved the way Allutia is wavering between the feelings she has for her master and her allegiance to her people
Comment Written 15-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Thank you! My computer crashed and I am on my phone. Just want to make sure you know I appreciate the kind words!
