Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

We are experiencing the switch from the torpor of humidity to crisp fall air. I really like what your last to lines imply, mom cheering from the sidelines because dad is not on the couch watching football. Just caught snaps- good word choice. Hut hut hike!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014

Thanks for the review.

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

I really enjoyed the light nature of this tanka. 'Dad snaps rake into action...while mom cheers from the sidelines'. That's pretty much the roles in my household! You got my vote for this great tanka.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014

Thanks, Bev.

reply by Writingfundimension on 16-Sep-2014

You betcha, Dallas. :)

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Good job following all those rules and still
managing to write a great Tanka about fall.
You create a typical scene of Fall with a touch
of humor in the last line. Good luck in the contest. Nancy

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind review.

Comment from mauial

Excellent

Great job with meeting the prompt requirements to write about autumn and not mention the forbidden words. Yet the words you chose clearly alludes to autumn.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for reviewing. Rules get tougher and tougher.

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I can see and hear this poem. The snap makes a great impression. Great tanka form. Good luck to you in the contest.
Teresa

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for the great review.

Comment from Spiritual Echo

Excellent

I think I'd make a great cheerleader! I have so many trees an leaves in the fall, that once a year I think about getting married again...no really, I'm kidding.

Great poem.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Ha ha. I think about it when I am lugging groceries.

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Wow, strict requirements met wonderfully in this lovely tanka - it evokes marvelous imagery and simply 'sparks' with crisp, autumn feeling!

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Rules are getting just a bit too stringent, at least for a 5-7-5.
Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from padumachitta

Excellent

Hi . This is a super poem, full to bursting with wonderful images. It really showcases a Autumn, I guess you live on the east coast:-)..because of the referrence to new energy when it is cool(the summer mugginess past).
padumachitta

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind review. Live in Wv.

Comment from Bina1

Excellent

So many rules for this short little poem! And you met each one, a delight poetry about fall activities and the feel of the change in weather. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind review.

Comment from granny goes viral

Excellent

This is so autumnal...I can almost smell the dried leaves burning, and the pumpkins growing, and the apples falling.
Seems as if summer just went away, without a whimper. Where I am anyway. Good job.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thank you for reviewing. It really was a great summer here. Not too hot and not too much rain. But I hear the Farmer's Almanac is predicting a bad winter. Couldn't me much worse than last year. I have ivy that was totally wiped out.

reply by granny goes viral on 14-Sep-2014

I have that feeling too. I am in New England.
Thank goodness retirement means no snow to worry about.