Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest

you follow the contest prompts

your syllable count spot on

your few words portray the captain counting his losses as he heads back to shore from the storm

cheers smoothiecool

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thank you for the kind review.

reply by Smoothiecool on 15-Sep-2014

your welcome..SC

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Captain made a wise decision. I still think fog and fishing counts as alliteration, but it passes inspection by the compliance committee. Nice assonance with lake and weighs.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

You know what, that got past me because it wasn't in the same line, or intended.

reply by Spitfire on 14-Sep-2014

Other entries did it too. Don't worry.

Comment from Tonulak

Excellent

Hi Dallas Alice,
In a few short lines, you've captured the lake, fog and the captains dilema. This is a very strong entry for the contest. Best of luck--Ted

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thanks, Ted. Too many rules in this one. Kept tripping up with the alliteration.

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Hi, Dallas. This is am intriguing short poem for the contest. I like the imagery very much, and wish you luck in the voting booth. :) Bev

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thanks, Bev.

reply by Writingfundimension on 14-Sep-2014

You're welcome, Dallas. Hope you win -- got my vote! :) Bev

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Not much of a trade-off, really. Your life or your livelihood. There will always be more clear days with pristine blue skies in which to catch more fish. However, you only get one life.

Nicely done, and you adhered to the contest rules very well, and the re were quite a few.

Best of luck!

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Too many to suit me. Kept getting tripped up on alliteration.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I like the narrative suggested in this haiku of a fishing boat captain "weighing" his options and deciding to head back to port because of the "thick fog."
Easy to visualize this scene. And I can almost taste that fog.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thank you for reviewing.

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

You have met the contest requirements well with this haunting look at fog's influence on decisions. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

thank you for reviewing.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Very nice picture paired with great description. I like your poem. You did a good job. One thing I would change is how the title is displayed. Look at the rules. They say to put the title in the description line above title like this: 5-7-5 Contest Entry . I know there has been discussion over how titles are written for contests, but I would not want this to be disqualified. You wrote the title like the way haiku requires, only this is a poem. MAYBE you want to change. MAYBE not. Hood luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thanks for the heads up.

Comment from steevie

Excellent

they say, any port in a storm, but then again, I heard the best place for a ship or boat in bad weather is out in open water

good job on this write

steve

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

gorgeous presentation of your poem
your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
good alliterative pairing in fog/fishing
good assonance in lake/fade
you create a dramatic visual
Brooke

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind review.