Though Autumn Wears...
a modified pantoum160 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
Very chilling and dark. A bit different from you, but that's good. Really enjoyed the different expressions of death, as in:
"Robes of death & death's clock"
Wonderfully rhymed as usual. Wish I had a sixer. Great writing! Les
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Very chilling and dark. A bit different from you, but that's good. Really enjoyed the different expressions of death, as in:
"Robes of death & death's clock"
Wonderfully rhymed as usual. Wish I had a sixer. Great writing! Les
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from lakeport
though autumn wears, indeed autumn getting close, that's a
very nice expressed poem,nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it.God bless you, Hugs!lakeport.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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though autumn wears, indeed autumn getting close, that's a
very nice expressed poem,nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it.God bless you, Hugs!lakeport.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Erich, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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your welcome,Hugs!lakeport.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
As the days grow shorter and cooler, fall is in the air, all right. And DEATH is the right word, or so it seems. But Autumn has reason to celebrate, for her trees are just going to sleep after the party, for a long winter's nap. They'll be back with buds and flowers before you know it, for another spell to steal our breath. :)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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As the days grow shorter and cooler, fall is in the air, all right. And DEATH is the right word, or so it seems. But Autumn has reason to celebrate, for her trees are just going to sleep after the party, for a long winter's nap. They'll be back with buds and flowers before you know it, for another spell to steal our breath. :)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Phyllis, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from kiwijenny
Just beautifully inspiring..it makes me want to drive into the hills to see the leaves change...one of our favorite things to do...and to get apples and play with Grandkids at the pumpkin farm
God bless
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Just beautifully inspiring..it makes me want to drive into the hills to see the leaves change...one of our favorite things to do...and to get apples and play with Grandkids at the pumpkin farm
God bless
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from Fridayauthor
Exceptionally well done in a very difficult pattern. Beautifully chosen words that paint a lovely picture. I have memories of many New England autumns where the colors were this breath taking.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder!
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Exceptionally well done in a very difficult pattern. Beautifully chosen words that paint a lovely picture. I have memories of many New England autumns where the colors were this breath taking.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from amahra
Brooke I love this poem style and the way you use practically the same word at the end. Have you done a Sestina yet? I'd love for you to do one. I did one three years ago and posted it. It's very difficult to do, I would love for you to share one with the poets on here.
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Brooke I love this poem style and the way you use practically the same word at the end. Have you done a Sestina yet? I'd love for you to do one. I did one three years ago and posted it. It's very difficult to do, I would love for you to share one with the poets on here.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from Domino 2
I see you're back to your 'modified' creations, Brooke. :-)
Powerful repeating lines and excellent difficult ABAB rhyme.
Most refreshing to not see autumn portrayed as a beautiful mosaic of 'grateful' dead leaves, but as a personified sort of dark destroyer. :-)
Excellent!
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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I see you're back to your 'modified' creations, Brooke. :-)
Powerful repeating lines and excellent difficult ABAB rhyme.
Most refreshing to not see autumn portrayed as a beautiful mosaic of 'grateful' dead leaves, but as a personified sort of dark destroyer. :-)
Excellent!
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Ray - you know how I love me my modifications ;-) Brooke
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LOL, Brooke. I wish I could 'modify' my body. Ouch, creak. :-) xx
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I hear you. I've been working on my own modification project for over three months now, and it's damn hard :-)
Comment from Loren (7)
Brook - in context of that day, this poem makes perfect sense. It caught me off guard (perplexed me) at first until I read your comments. How chilling the effects of that day. Loren
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Brook - in context of that day, this poem makes perfect sense. It caught me off guard (perplexed me) at first until I read your comments. How chilling the effects of that day. Loren
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from LIJ Red
I think you are in a dark mood, on this grim anniversary.
Not your jolliest effort. Just commenting to fatten my review. Your repeating line emphasis is just as effective
as a stock pantoum.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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I think you are in a dark mood, on this grim anniversary.
Not your jolliest effort. Just commenting to fatten my review. Your repeating line emphasis is just as effective
as a stock pantoum.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Jolly it's not, yep, you're right. LOL Thanks so much, LIJ :-) Brooke
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is an absolutely lovely and a clever modified Pantoum. Perfect abab rhyme and personification of both Autumn and Time works beautifully. I don't know anything about the rules of modifying a Pantoum but whatever they are your poem sounds lovely. 'for no one stops Time's moving hands - as Time's the master, we the herd'. How true! An enjoyable read - warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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This is an absolutely lovely and a clever modified Pantoum. Perfect abab rhyme and personification of both Autumn and Time works beautifully. I don't know anything about the rules of modifying a Pantoum but whatever they are your poem sounds lovely. 'for no one stops Time's moving hands - as Time's the master, we the herd'. How true! An enjoyable read - warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Dorothy - the modifications are breaks in the traditional rules - they don't have rules for breaking the rules. LOL Brooke :-)
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Thanks - can modifications be made to other poetry forms. For example in free verse are you allowed to have a piece of rhyme here and there - I've looked it up, here and there, and always get different answers or the answers are ambiguous? Excuse me picking your brains LOL - Dorothy
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yes, free verse can have scattered rhyme - it's just not supposed to have a sustained rhyme scheme - so you shouldn't have an entire free verse that uses abab rhyme or rhyming couplets from beginning to end
