Though Autumn Wears...
a modified pantoum160 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Brooke,
Thought provoking nice piece of poetry impressively presenting Autumn's beauty!
Impressive and matching the theme wording.
Nice rhyming scheme with lively imagery.
The most striking lines are:
"When Time, relentless, makes demands,
nobody dares defy its word,
for no one stops Time's moving hands --
as Time's the master, we the herd."
Excellent!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Hello Brooke,
Thought provoking nice piece of poetry impressively presenting Autumn's beauty!
Impressive and matching the theme wording.
Nice rhyming scheme with lively imagery.
The most striking lines are:
"When Time, relentless, makes demands,
nobody dares defy its word,
for no one stops Time's moving hands --
as Time's the master, we the herd."
Excellent!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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RP, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Aussie
I think there is two stories running here? One for 9/11 and the death of thousands - one for the death of autumn and beginning of winter? I found your poem deep and meaningful, it caught in my throat, Time does wait for no man. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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I think there is two stories running here? One for 9/11 and the death of thousands - one for the death of autumn and beginning of winter? I found your poem deep and meaningful, it caught in my throat, Time does wait for no man. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you so very much, Kay, for such an insightful reading of my poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Sanku
Autumn,Death and Time -The cyclic inevitability that threads these together has been most deftly portrayed by you in this poem .The form you have chosen has enhanced the the grave and pensive nature of the theme. the personification has added to the emotional aspect too.'times's the master we the heard' is a brilliant line .Loved it very much.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Autumn,Death and Time -The cyclic inevitability that threads these together has been most deftly portrayed by you in this poem .The form you have chosen has enhanced the the grave and pensive nature of the theme. the personification has added to the emotional aspect too.'times's the master we the heard' is a brilliant line .Loved it very much.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Sanku :-) Brooke
Comment from Dawn Munro
Huh. We must either be experiencing similar weather or we're just on the same wavelength - I've written a poem not unlike this one, although mine isn't actually about weather.
As always, not only is this gorgeous, it's so very thought-provoking, Brooke. Just lovely - if only...although it does remind me of that period just before dying when the ill suddenly feel better for a short time...
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Huh. We must either be experiencing similar weather or we're just on the same wavelength - I've written a poem not unlike this one, although mine isn't actually about weather.
As always, not only is this gorgeous, it's so very thought-provoking, Brooke. Just lovely - if only...although it does remind me of that period just before dying when the ill suddenly feel better for a short time...
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Dawn - mine is also very metaphorical in nature :-) Brooke
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Aha - I wondered about that too...:)
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Completely beautiful in every way, Brooke. I love the final glory of Autumn before donning widow's weeds...then the resurrection of Spring. Your dedication makes it even more special. It was a spectacular morning, was it not? :) Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Completely beautiful in every way, Brooke. I love the final glory of Autumn before donning widow's weeds...then the resurrection of Spring. Your dedication makes it even more special. It was a spectacular morning, was it not? :) Nancy
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Nancy, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem. I remember as I watched the black smoke on the TV screen that morning that just an hour before the other teachers and I had been commenting on the spectacular weather that morning. Brooke :-)
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It was beautiful in NC, too. I had just opened the house up to air at 9 am when my youngest daughter called and told me to turn on the TV and that her sister (working for AP) was home in Queens and safe. Shortly after that, our phones went dead. Coincidence? Who knows? :) Nancy
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
What a beautiful description of an absolutely stunning season. I loved that personification of Autumn, Death and Time. Well done!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Hello there~!
What a beautiful description of an absolutely stunning season. I loved that personification of Autumn, Death and Time. Well done!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Kausar, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This poem was written on the saddest day, yet shows how life can go on. That 'brief' moment in time was bestowed on everyone who needed know how that particular date is not all bad or sad. You wrote it beautifully, Brooke. :) Sandra x
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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This poem was written on the saddest day, yet shows how life can go on. That 'brief' moment in time was bestowed on everyone who needed know how that particular date is not all bad or sad. You wrote it beautifully, Brooke. :) Sandra x
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Sandra :-) Brooke
Comment from kiwisteveh
A lovely, subtle poem of remembrance for that day.
The woven lines of the pantoum work effectively together to keep the major theme before our eyes.
One small query - I believe 'don' means to put on, not to wear, which would make line 8 a very rare error in usage for you.
she's donned a frock (she has donned) or she's dressed in a frock, but not she's donned in a frock
Steve
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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A lovely, subtle poem of remembrance for that day.
The woven lines of the pantoum work effectively together to keep the major theme before our eyes.
One small query - I believe 'don' means to put on, not to wear, which would make line 8 a very rare error in usage for you.
she's donned a frock (she has donned) or she's dressed in a frock, but not she's donned in a frock
Steve
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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I replaced "in" with "her" :-) Thanks, Steve. I appreciate your thoughtful review, my friend. Brooke
Comment from James Dooney
Oh yes you have written this quite nicely again brooke ! I i like your rhyme and paragraph structure here. Very well done and keep it up !
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Oh yes you have written this quite nicely again brooke ! I i like your rhyme and paragraph structure here. Very well done and keep it up !
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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James, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Eric1
Wow, Brooke, what an amazing poem my friend, this beautiful work has the most stunning imagery and description, it is beautifully rhymed with a great rhythm and a flow that I wish I could just borrow once, in one of my poems, it is a lesson on how to write the perfect poem! Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Wow, Brooke, what an amazing poem my friend, this beautiful work has the most stunning imagery and description, it is beautifully rhymed with a great rhythm and a flow that I wish I could just borrow once, in one of my poems, it is a lesson on how to write the perfect poem! Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Eric, thank you so much for your thoughtful and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
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You are very welcome Brooke
