Though Autumn Wears...
a modified pantoum160 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
There is a faction of liberals that thinks it's perfectly acceptable to vary the words slightly in the repeated lines to enhance the development of the theme, but traditionalists hold strong and fast to the "no deviations" rule. I really prefer the challenge of adhering to custom - and making it appear that a pantoum, much less a modifies pantoum, is really easy to write... It most definitely is NOT!
As in any poem, the first and most important thing to consider is THEME - The theme must develop within the line repetitions. Your theme of fall, or Autumn as the case were, and how Mother Nature's lovely flora and fauna take on an entirely new persona of brilliant color and majesty, just before death, is astounding here, Brooke.
Beautifully rendered and wonderfully presented.
Exceptional writing, but I'm far from being an expert. I just know what beauty sounds like as it pertains to the written word.
And this one fits the bill. :]
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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There is a faction of liberals that thinks it's perfectly acceptable to vary the words slightly in the repeated lines to enhance the development of the theme, but traditionalists hold strong and fast to the "no deviations" rule. I really prefer the challenge of adhering to custom - and making it appear that a pantoum, much less a modifies pantoum, is really easy to write... It most definitely is NOT!
As in any poem, the first and most important thing to consider is THEME - The theme must develop within the line repetitions. Your theme of fall, or Autumn as the case were, and how Mother Nature's lovely flora and fauna take on an entirely new persona of brilliant color and majesty, just before death, is astounding here, Brooke.
Beautifully rendered and wonderfully presented.
Exceptional writing, but I'm far from being an expert. I just know what beauty sounds like as it pertains to the written word.
And this one fits the bill. :]
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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I just love being part of a faction of liberals. LOL Thanks so much, Dean :-) Brooke
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Me too, on some things. :)
It was my pleasure, Brooke. :)
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ah, I'm a flaming liberal on just about everything LOL
Comment from José Ángel
A beautiful poem to autumn, which to me is one of my favorite seasons by temperature it brings, not too hot or too cold (although I prefer the cold). I liked the pictures you took care in the poem, very well made. My congratulations, a hug from Chile.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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A beautiful poem to autumn, which to me is one of my favorite seasons by temperature it brings, not too hot or too cold (although I prefer the cold). I liked the pictures you took care in the poem, very well made. My congratulations, a hug from Chile.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Jose - I myself am not a fan of the cold :-) Brooke
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Brooke,
This is beautiful, and such a unique way to pay tribute to those lost, as families shattered on that horrific day.
I was in my car driving to Phoenix for a district meeting that day. I'll never forget looking at the radio as if it a cruel joke.
Great presentation.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*^*)
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Hi Brooke,
This is beautiful, and such a unique way to pay tribute to those lost, as families shattered on that horrific day.
I was in my car driving to Phoenix for a district meeting that day. I'll never forget looking at the radio as if it a cruel joke.
Great presentation.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*^*)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from nomi338
Wow! This is an awesome accounting of the passage of time as we go from season to season. Autumn is not that favored because it always presages the onslaught of Winter and its cold, bleakness. This is incredibly good writing Brooke, but then I am not really surprised.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Wow! This is an awesome accounting of the passage of time as we go from season to season. Autumn is not that favored because it always presages the onslaught of Winter and its cold, bleakness. This is incredibly good writing Brooke, but then I am not really surprised.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, nomi :-) Brooke
Comment from RYME4U
Beautiful. There is such a brief time to see Autumn in her full colorful glory. You have described this so well. It does leave you breathless doesn't it? The poem is a delight. Loved it!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Beautiful. There is such a brief time to see Autumn in her full colorful glory. You have described this so well. It does leave you breathless doesn't it? The poem is a delight. Loved it!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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RYME4U, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from GracieAnn
Brooke, I enjoyed the well place metaphor and personification to describe the inevitable passing of a season. It is also symbolic for us as we shed our robe of death some day. Well done with engaging rhyme and meter. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Brooke, I enjoyed the well place metaphor and personification to describe the inevitable passing of a season. It is also symbolic for us as we shed our robe of death some day. Well done with engaging rhyme and meter. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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GracieAnn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from High Wire Girl
Beautifully, beautifully done.
Gloomy and focused.
One suggestion - I think it may be garb (singular), not plural.
Not sure, but I think so.
I really liked this piece, my dear.
As bittersweet a time of year, Autumn is my favorite season.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Beautifully, beautifully done.
Gloomy and focused.
One suggestion - I think it may be garb (singular), not plural.
Not sure, but I think so.
I really liked this piece, my dear.
As bittersweet a time of year, Autumn is my favorite season.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, High Wire Girl :-) I switched it to garb. :-) Brooke
Comment from vfbryant
I loved the skill with which you used this type of poetry to present your beautiful metaphor. The repetitions provide such smooth, gentle transitions between stanzas, and for me, set a tone of leaves falling softly to the ground.
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I loved the skill with which you used this type of poetry to present your beautiful metaphor. The repetitions provide such smooth, gentle transitions between stanzas, and for me, set a tone of leaves falling softly to the ground.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Beautifully written, Brooke. I remember reading your poems years ago. They were good then, but it seems like you have gotten much stronger. This was great.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Beautifully written, Brooke. I remember reading your poems years ago. They were good then, but it seems like you have gotten much stronger. This was great.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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drivenbackward, thank you so much for your thoughtful and generous review :-) Brooke
Comment from boxergirl
A beautiful modified pantoum, Brooke. You know how I love personification and this did not disappoint - Autumn wears and Time demands. It is a brief but wonderful interlude in the passing of the seasons and a reminder that life is always changing. Thanks for sharing! 8-)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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A beautiful modified pantoum, Brooke. You know how I love personification and this did not disappoint - Autumn wears and Time demands. It is a brief but wonderful interlude in the passing of the seasons and a reminder that life is always changing. Thanks for sharing! 8-)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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boxergirl, thank you so much :-) Brooke
