Though Autumn Wears...
a modified pantoum160 total reviews
Comment from Caressa_08
A virtual six....Autumn is just a step from winter, when leaves die. And, at first, as this time of the year, they are so beautiful, describing you did this so well with the metaphors used, & appreciate the line that reads, there is that spell that steals our breath & too the very last line of your poem. A very serious, appropriate, poignant poem for this day, the end of Summer, almost Fall, that can provoke so many memories of 9/11 on this, the anniversary of such a horrific tragedy.
Caressa
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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A virtual six....Autumn is just a step from winter, when leaves die. And, at first, as this time of the year, they are so beautiful, describing you did this so well with the metaphors used, & appreciate the line that reads, there is that spell that steals our breath & too the very last line of your poem. A very serious, appropriate, poignant poem for this day, the end of Summer, almost Fall, that can provoke so many memories of 9/11 on this, the anniversary of such a horrific tragedy.
Caressa
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Caressa, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from granny goes viral
Yes, Mother Nature does give us (here in the East) a real show before the whiteness of the snow. I live in the area known for the Leaf Peepers converging on our little colorful towns (and yes spend money here). Our weather forecasters forecast the colors. It makes saying good bye to summer easier.
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Yes, Mother Nature does give us (here in the East) a real show before the whiteness of the snow. I live in the area known for the Leaf Peepers converging on our little colorful towns (and yes spend money here). Our weather forecasters forecast the colors. It makes saying good bye to summer easier.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Is September 14 your first day of autumn? September 1 is our first day of spring, and we are watching new buds appear. You wrote a most enjoyable M/Pantoum, Brooke. Giddy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Is September 14 your first day of autumn? September 1 is our first day of spring, and we are watching new buds appear. You wrote a most enjoyable M/Pantoum, Brooke. Giddy
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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No, the first day is either the 20th or 21st - we do seasons by the equinoxes while I know many countries do it at the first of a month. Thanks so much, Giddy :-) Brooke
Comment from angelface2
A very nice poem, with great rhythm. I would not expect anything less, my friend. Lovely rhymes and imagery, especially garlands in her hair. beautiful. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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A very nice poem, with great rhythm. I would not expect anything less, my friend. Lovely rhymes and imagery, especially garlands in her hair. beautiful. Miss Sally
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Miss Sally, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello adewpearl, Brooke, A timely poem. I especially liked:
there is that spell that steals our breath
when she wears garlands in her hair.
(Your words have created gorgeous imagery.)
Silky rhyming and a beautiful artwork choice. This poem was a pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
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Hello adewpearl, Brooke, A timely poem. I especially liked:
there is that spell that steals our breath
when she wears garlands in her hair.
(Your words have created gorgeous imagery.)
Silky rhyming and a beautiful artwork choice. This poem was a pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from krys123
Brooke;
What a well written piece of poetry that I enjoyed very much because of its ingenious imagination which is very inventive and marvelously creative. Personifying time she is dressed with a role of beauty in conjunction with autumns presents.
The imagery was magnificently descriptive And most adequately and distinctively expressive throughout: "She robe herself in widow's frock, For no one stops Time's
moving hands." I can visualize someone not able to stop the hands of time as it moves around the clock. This is a perfect metaphor and is written so perfectly and optically visual: "Nobody dares defy Time's word, but there's that spell that steals our breath when Autumn leaves Time's passive herd to toss aside her robes of death." In this second picture a woman stealing the breath of autumn is the mist releases from her mouth.
Your rhyming helped with the rhythmic flow is your rhythm flow smoothly throughout your writing and your rhyming was distinctively more than adequate in defining the sentences concept.
Thank you so much for sharing them posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always
Brooke.
Alex
PS: I have one question and one of your lines and let me repeat that line: "she (robe) herself in widow's frock,".
One I used the word (robes).
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Brooke;
What a well written piece of poetry that I enjoyed very much because of its ingenious imagination which is very inventive and marvelously creative. Personifying time she is dressed with a role of beauty in conjunction with autumns presents.
The imagery was magnificently descriptive And most adequately and distinctively expressive throughout: "She robe herself in widow's frock, For no one stops Time's
moving hands." I can visualize someone not able to stop the hands of time as it moves around the clock. This is a perfect metaphor and is written so perfectly and optically visual: "Nobody dares defy Time's word, but there's that spell that steals our breath when Autumn leaves Time's passive herd to toss aside her robes of death." In this second picture a woman stealing the breath of autumn is the mist releases from her mouth.
Your rhyming helped with the rhythmic flow is your rhythm flow smoothly throughout your writing and your rhyming was distinctively more than adequate in defining the sentences concept.
Thank you so much for sharing them posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always
Brooke.
Alex
PS: I have one question and one of your lines and let me repeat that line: "she (robe) herself in widow's frock,".
One I used the word (robes).
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
Comment from Jackreese
This flowed nicely you really described mother natures spell on Autumn and the change from summer. I am not looking forward to seeing summer go and would stop the clock if I could, especially if winter is as brutal as last year.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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This flowed nicely you really described mother natures spell on Autumn and the change from summer. I am not looking forward to seeing summer go and would stop the clock if I could, especially if winter is as brutal as last year.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Jackreese, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Brooke
What can I say? You take my breath away so many times, it's a wonder I'm not a Smurf.
You cleverly compare the Twin Towers terror strike to the latter part of autumn, when colourful leaves have left the trees, browning on the frozen ground. The beauty of fall gone. Our innocence (because it deeply affected us Canadians too) was lambasted that day in September. Our smiles, disappeared. It was ...unbelievable. Like John Kennedy's assassination. We were collectively punched in the stomach.
Your opening lines are fabulous.
"Though Autumn wears stark robes of death,
before her garb turns brown and bare,
there is that spell that steals our breath
when she wears garlands in her hair."
This is a well-written pantoum, that speaks to our hearts and makes us remember. I would love to see you write a free verse poem on the same subject, comparing the day to fall's last call.
Nicely penned!
your ardent fan,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Hi Brooke
What can I say? You take my breath away so many times, it's a wonder I'm not a Smurf.
You cleverly compare the Twin Towers terror strike to the latter part of autumn, when colourful leaves have left the trees, browning on the frozen ground. The beauty of fall gone. Our innocence (because it deeply affected us Canadians too) was lambasted that day in September. Our smiles, disappeared. It was ...unbelievable. Like John Kennedy's assassination. We were collectively punched in the stomach.
Your opening lines are fabulous.
"Though Autumn wears stark robes of death,
before her garb turns brown and bare,
there is that spell that steals our breath
when she wears garlands in her hair."
This is a well-written pantoum, that speaks to our hearts and makes us remember. I would love to see you write a free verse poem on the same subject, comparing the day to fall's last call.
Nicely penned!
your ardent fan,
Kimbob
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Kimbob, for that laugh and for your gracious and generous review. You're the best :-) Brooke
Comment from words
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
This one is so beautiful that it takes my breath away.
I was knocked out from the stunning opening stanza.
You so deserve that number one spot here, Brooke. You make us all look good by just posting here.
It is so unfair that I have no glitter left to give.
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Ahhhhhhhhhh.
This one is so beautiful that it takes my breath away.
I was knocked out from the stunning opening stanza.
You so deserve that number one spot here, Brooke. You make us all look good by just posting here.
It is so unfair that I have no glitter left to give.
Hugs,d
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend :-) Sending you smiles across the continent :-) You probably already pick up stray smiles from the smile rays I send to Encino several times a day :-)
Comment from Pili Pubul
Love the music of the ryhtmn in this fabulous poem .
It is very true the drama of autumn ( my favorite season )
while living in NY. So beautiful for a brief time... Pili
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Love the music of the ryhtmn in this fabulous poem .
It is very true the drama of autumn ( my favorite season )
while living in NY. So beautiful for a brief time... Pili
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Pili, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
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You are so welcome. Pili
