Though Autumn Wears...
a modified pantoum160 total reviews
Comment from Andrewajgblue
I adore autumn, it's such a gorgeous time of year and this poem captures that special moment of it, right at the beginning, a great poem, lovely poetic wording, I really liked it ,
Andrew
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
  |
I adore autumn, it's such a gorgeous time of year and this poem captures that special moment of it, right at the beginning, a great poem, lovely poetic wording, I really liked it ,
Andrew
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Thanks so much, Andrew :-) Brooke
Comment from Carole Rosa
Brooke,
Our trees in Michigan have not started to turn colors yet, but it's cold here tonight. So that's a sign that autumn is on it's way. I froze my fanny off tonight at my grandson's football game. (By the way, he tackled a big, ole, bubba type guy and they won the game!)
I enjoy the fact that Autumn is a 'she' in your delightful piece. Every line in your poem is charming. Smiles, Carole
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
Brooke,
Our trees in Michigan have not started to turn colors yet, but it's cold here tonight. So that's a sign that autumn is on it's way. I froze my fanny off tonight at my grandson's football game. (By the way, he tackled a big, ole, bubba type guy and they won the game!)
I enjoy the fact that Autumn is a 'she' in your delightful piece. Every line in your poem is charming. Smiles, Carole
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Thank you so much, Carole :-) Brooke
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Yes, 911 is a memorable day. I will never forget what I was doing, exactly where I was standing, seeing the attach on TV and turning it as I thought it was a war movie, which I am never fond of. Iy was on every channel.Then I realized it was real, America was under attach. It is hard to believe it has been 13 years.
Well done Brooke, Carolyn
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
Yes, 911 is a memorable day. I will never forget what I was doing, exactly where I was standing, seeing the attach on TV and turning it as I thought it was a war movie, which I am never fond of. Iy was on every channel.Then I realized it was real, America was under attach. It is hard to believe it has been 13 years.
Well done Brooke, Carolyn
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Thank you, Carolyn, for your thoughtful and positive comments. Since all the comments are positive, is there a reason for the 4 rating? Brooke
-
Not that I give an atomaatic 5, however it falls right before the 6.... If your out of six...oops.... there goes a four. Drat those buttons. This one is definitely excellent.
-
thanks so much :-)
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Though Autumn Wears' is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. Each line of this poem is woven with the golden threads of truth. It was a pleasure to read and review this talented poet's work.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
'Though Autumn Wears' is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. Each line of this poem is woven with the golden threads of truth. It was a pleasure to read and review this talented poet's work.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Duchess, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Brooke, you're very welcome :-)the Duchess
Comment from chasennov
a modified pantoum Though Autumn Wears... You write such beautiful poetry, Brooke, and this modified Pantoum poem you have created here is no exception. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
a modified pantoum Though Autumn Wears... You write such beautiful poetry, Brooke, and this modified Pantoum poem you have created here is no exception. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Thank you, chasennov, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
-
You are indeed very welcome, Brooke.
Comment from Allieas
Aaaaah you are an amazing poet. Every time I read one of your poems I have to read it several times because it goes by too quickly. The flow and imagery are beautiful.
Before her garb turns brown and bare,
for one brief spell she stops death's clock
to place a garland in her hair
until she's donned in widow's frock.
That was my favorite part. Thanks for sharing, as always. Happy writing =)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
Aaaaah you are an amazing poet. Every time I read one of your poems I have to read it several times because it goes by too quickly. The flow and imagery are beautiful.
Before her garb turns brown and bare,
for one brief spell she stops death's clock
to place a garland in her hair
until she's donned in widow's frock.
That was my favorite part. Thanks for sharing, as always. Happy writing =)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Alexandra, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from rjuselius
i love the rhyme, it is nicely effortless and vivid! i like the philosophical touch to it! tick tock goes the clock for evermore.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
i love the rhyme, it is nicely effortless and vivid! i like the philosophical touch to it! tick tock goes the clock for evermore.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Rebekka, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from manicblue
This was beautifully written and I enjoyed it immensely. The iambic meter flowed smoothly and it fit the abab requirement very well. Is it called personification (time)? I can't remember! :)
Lucretia xx
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
This was beautifully written and I enjoyed it immensely. The iambic meter flowed smoothly and it fit the abab requirement very well. Is it called personification (time)? I can't remember! :)
Lucretia xx
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Lucretia, thank you so very much - Yes, I have personified both Time and Autumn :-) Brooke
Comment from CR Delport
If you look around nature it is so beautiful. It is such a pity that all that beauty gets spoiled by war-mongering humans. This is very well done.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
If you look around nature it is so beautiful. It is such a pity that all that beauty gets spoiled by war-mongering humans. This is very well done.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
CR, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from DR DIP
Do you know what I like most about this poem Brooke?
go on have a guess?...NO BLOODY PROXIMATE RHYME..you have actually made the effort to rhyme perfectly in ABAB rhyme format..PERFECTLY..no proximate lazy stuff..and what a bloody difference it makes..seriously..as much as I like your ABCB format I can not get my head around lazy proximate rhyme and if I use it myself its usually with no other option phonetically perfect and it's not that often.
just one thing;
with the fourth verse last line:
as Time's the master, we the herd.
should it be a semi colon
as Time's the master; we the herd. as you are completely changing subject matter in the context of the sentewnc? I am more curious then pedantic here as I want to totally understand the use of a semi colon as against a comma.
xxdip
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
|
Do you know what I like most about this poem Brooke?
go on have a guess?...NO BLOODY PROXIMATE RHYME..you have actually made the effort to rhyme perfectly in ABAB rhyme format..PERFECTLY..no proximate lazy stuff..and what a bloody difference it makes..seriously..as much as I like your ABCB format I can not get my head around lazy proximate rhyme and if I use it myself its usually with no other option phonetically perfect and it's not that often.
just one thing;
with the fourth verse last line:
as Time's the master, we the herd.
should it be a semi colon
as Time's the master; we the herd. as you are completely changing subject matter in the context of the sentewnc? I am more curious then pedantic here as I want to totally understand the use of a semi colon as against a comma.
xxdip
Comment Written 12-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
-
Thank you for reviewing, Dip. Since reviews are public and someone else could be reading this, I will attempt one final time to discuss my use of proximate rhyme and my work ethic. I am not a lazy writer. I never post anything that lacked effort. I spend HOURS, and I mean that sincerely, writing a poem, even if that poem is only 12 lines long. I realize we are told not to defend our work, but I am defending myself against what to me is a personal attack on my character, as I am being called lazy. If nothing else, I pride myself in the amount of work and effort and time I put into any piece I post. Brooke
-
As I now understand this could be seen by EVERYONE and someone else besides you could actually go to the trouble to take me seriously with our little debates, let me just clear the air.
The ONLY part of my comment that WASN'T my usual tongue in cheek was actually the last bit about the semi colon.
I have just realized your sensitivity and your dedication to your passion to write and I DO PUBLICALLY APOLOGISE If people actually had the impression that you might have been a "cut and paste" specialist and worked for Tom as a plant.
Your comments and your sincerity and the fact that you spend hours in a day on each poem shows a dedication and passion beyond no other.
I have learnt a very valuable lesson here Brooke about my silly Aussie sense of humour that a lot of people especially Americans Whom I have many great friends do not get sarcasm in the written word. SO not only to you but to the millions of Americans and fellow poets that come to this wonderful site I apologise for my total misconception.
I sincerely didn't realise you spend so much time on each poem you post which reinforces your dedication and you should definitely pride yourself.
I would hate to think this was seen a personal attack on your character because it was never meant to be..fk brooke you must know me by now I have been shit stirring you now for ages.I apologise for I had the misconception it seems that you had thick skin but now I see it as a total misconception on my behalf and as EVERYONE is reading my 2 cent comments I will set the record straight.
I AM NOT into this tall poppy syndrome, I am NOT into ATTACKING someone's character.
I am a compassionate person. I am in total awe of many beautiful wordsmiths on this site you inclusive.
please accept my apology if you thought I was 'attacking" your character this was NEVER my intent as I have said.
Obviously I have hit your Achilles heel and even though my continual banter of "proximate rhyme" was only meant for our little fun and banter. I now realise your concerns .
best I don't play our games anymore
and I really DO admire someone like yourself and others who can put so much time and effort into one site.
Poetry to me is a whole lot less serious and I am being totally honest when I say that I write my shit in about 3 mins a poem. Maybe I should heed the advice of another who suggested I concentrate on quality rather than quantity and post only a couple a week instead a couple a day lol on my maths, with some 2643 poems in my archives with 2 a week only, x 52 weeks in the year... that's 104 poems a year. so 2643(exponentially)lol divided by 104 I'll be posting on here for the next 26 years!! lol.
seriously, Brooke the reason I post every night is I just love to write new ones every night and my muse or inspiration comes to me every time I see these wonderful shared photos on Facebook. The words always come so easy to me when written in rhyme, hence the reason why I seem so prolific.
Thanks for the heads up about the fact that people read others comments I will take that on board when bantering with comment in future
sincerely dip
-
Thank you, Dip :-) I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to write this, and I accept that what you were doing was being sarcastic.
You're write about my Achilles heel. People can say anything about my skill and it doesn't bother me at all. Someone can say I suck as a poet, and I couldn't care less. But when I think someone is attacking the work and effort I put into what I do, that is where I become sensitive. You are very insightful to understand that :-)
-
xx
dip
