Second Chances
Viewing comments for Prologue "prologue: the cliffs"Who is Zoe Vann? A second chance or a reminder?
26 total reviews
Comment from Therese Caron
What a wonderful read. Did her friend really fall off the cliff and now she has nightmares about it? Or did her friend not fall at al|? I am looking forward to the next chapter! This is well written and very intriguing
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What a wonderful read. Did her friend really fall off the cliff and now she has nightmares about it? Or did her friend not fall at al|? I am looking forward to the next chapter! This is well written and very intriguing
Comment Written 18-Dec-2019
Comment from tfawcus
A vivid dream sequence followed by a good teaser into the here-and-now world of the narrator. Your writing style is tight and engaging. Only two minor suggestions. One already noted by a previous reviewer, to lose the 'distant/distance', the other to call Annamarie by name on the first occasion instead of 'my little friend'. That descriptor can come later in the monologue.
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A vivid dream sequence followed by a good teaser into the here-and-now world of the narrator. Your writing style is tight and engaging. Only two minor suggestions. One already noted by a previous reviewer, to lose the 'distant/distance', the other to call Annamarie by name on the first occasion instead of 'my little friend'. That descriptor can come later in the monologue.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2019
Comment from RShipp
Enjoyed the read!
I was soooo relieved with the actions on the cliff were just a dream- howbeit a very disturbing dream. (I've had then before too- makes one wonder? )
"somewhere in the not-too-distant distance," the wording with the two distant' words, I found off-setting. There might be a better word for one of them?
Looking forward to see where this goes!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
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Enjoyed the read!
I was soooo relieved with the actions on the cliff were just a dream- howbeit a very disturbing dream. (I've had then before too- makes one wonder? )
"somewhere in the not-too-distant distance," the wording with the two distant' words, I found off-setting. There might be a better word for one of them?
Looking forward to see where this goes!
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
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Thank you so much for your review! I would love to hear your thoughts on the other chapters if you ever have the time! While it is a dream, there is truth to it... Do you think I should make that more clear, or is it better that the reader wonders if it is or not until later? Thank you again for reading and giving feedback!
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I would love to read the other chapters.
Comment from adewpearl
You set the stage well in your opening paragraph
Ana is a scaredy cat, I sung - I sang
You work in back story dramatically
a prologue should intrigue the reader, enticing her to want to read more, and you succeed in that
Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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You set the stage well in your opening paragraph
Ana is a scaredy cat, I sung - I sang
You work in back story dramatically
a prologue should intrigue the reader, enticing her to want to read more, and you succeed in that
Brooke
Comment Written 11-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment. Much appreciated!
Comment from Cajungirl
Fantastic prologue. I was captivated from the very beginning. Your story held my attention. I was on the edge of my seat, when she suddenly woke. What a horrific thing to have witnessed. I think your novel will be very interesting. Best of luck. I didn't spot any SPAG.
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014
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Fantastic prologue. I was captivated from the very beginning. Your story held my attention. I was on the edge of my seat, when she suddenly woke. What a horrific thing to have witnessed. I think your novel will be very interesting. Best of luck. I didn't spot any SPAG.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014
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Thanks for reading! I'm excited that you felt captivated!
Comment from Jackreese
Great prologue, it pulled me in and had me wanting more. I am looking forward to reading more and seeing where this story goes.
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014
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Great prologue, it pulled me in and had me wanting more. I am looking forward to reading more and seeing where this story goes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for reading and your comment! I'm so happy that you felt like you were pulled into the story!
