Second Chances
Viewing comments for Prologue "prologue: the cliffs"Who is Zoe Vann? A second chance or a reminder?
26 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. Childhood nightmare or childhood memory? It makes one wonder about why he is currently in the military. Did he run from home after accidently killing, or was he given the choice of service or prison?
Well written. I saw no errors.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Very interesting. Childhood nightmare or childhood memory? It makes one wonder about why he is currently in the military. Did he run from home after accidently killing, or was he given the choice of service or prison?
Well written. I saw no errors.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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thank you! It wasn't quite that black and white, but I'd say there's a relationship between what happened and why he joined the military. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!
Comment from royowen
I found what is really your backstory anyway, what really happened to your sister in the nightmare, presumably it ended in disaster, thst would bet the ultimate nightmare anyway, closely followed by the reality of Afghanistan, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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I found what is really your backstory anyway, what really happened to your sister in the nightmare, presumably it ended in disaster, thst would bet the ultimate nightmare anyway, closely followed by the reality of Afghanistan, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thanks for reading and commenting. The dream is also a memory, but that will become clear later on in the story
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Good job
Comment from Ulla
Oh, I should have read this first, so I started out with the next chapter. I was totally caught up in this prank getting out of hand. Fortunately, it turned out to be a dream. A very good beginning to your book. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Oh, I should have read this first, so I started out with the next chapter. I was totally caught up in this prank getting out of hand. Fortunately, it turned out to be a dream. A very good beginning to your book. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thank you for reading and commenting! Yes, fortunately a dream, but also a memory unfortunately... it will come back later in the book. Thanks for taking the time to read and give your feedback!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good beginning for what has the potential to be an interesting story.
You have me hooked and I want to read more.
Well done.
Sharon
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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I think this is a good beginning for what has the potential to be an interesting story.
You have me hooked and I want to read more.
Well done.
Sharon
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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Thank you so much for the read and the comment! So sorry for the delay! I moved states and jobs and haven't had the chance to get on here or write lately. Hope all is well with you.
Comment from LeannaP
This was a lovely post.
Thank you for sharing.
You write well.
I like the way you write.
I loved the idea of you waking from the dream exhausted.
you have a new fan!
Leanna
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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This was a lovely post.
Thank you for sharing.
You write well.
I like the way you write.
I loved the idea of you waking from the dream exhausted.
you have a new fan!
Leanna
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! So sorry for the delayed response. Hope you're well!
Comment from oliver818
This looks like an interesting book, I enjoyed the prologue. . I like the way you set it up. I'll have to read more of this later. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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This looks like an interesting book, I enjoyed the prologue. . I like the way you set it up. I'll have to read more of this later. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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Thank you so much for reading and for your comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. So sorry for the delayed response; hope your'e well!
Comment from lyenochka
Brilliant beginning - with a recurring nightmare that springs from a well of guilt. I want to know more such as who is the narrator is, and if Anamaria survived and other details. I hope you'll continue and give us a list of characters, too.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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Brilliant beginning - with a recurring nightmare that springs from a well of guilt. I want to know more such as who is the narrator is, and if Anamaria survived and other details. I hope you'll continue and give us a list of characters, too.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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Thank you so much for the read and the feedback! So sorry for my delayed response! I had a big move and haven't had much free time. As for the story- there is more to come; I've been having writer's block but hope to "get back on the horse" soon. Hope you're well!
Comment from Barbaraj1
I liked your story very much. I hope you don't mind a few suggestions.
A comma between standing and all.
Beautiful lake needs an article (the or a)
remove the comma after distance
peak should be spelled peek
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2021
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I liked your story very much. I hope you don't mind a few suggestions.
A comma between standing and all.
Beautiful lake needs an article (the or a)
remove the comma after distance
peak should be spelled peek
Comment Written 19-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2021
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Hi! I'm so sorry for a ridiculously late response, but thank you so much for reading and your feedback! I made those changes and appreciate you for catching them!
Comment from JudyE
This shows great promise. I hope you're continuing with it.
I hope you don't mind but I've made a few suggestions. Ignore them if you want to.
We were at the edge of a cliff - one that teenagers had been jumping off of for fun all morning - delete 'of'
We had waited for them to leave before sneaking off from our families - I might have used 'sneaking away from'
It was much farther down than I had originally thought, I realized when I ventured a peak over the edge. - I might have rearranged this is as 'When I ventured a peak over the edge, I realized it was much farther down than I had originally thought.'
I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Judy
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2021
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This shows great promise. I hope you're continuing with it.
I hope you don't mind but I've made a few suggestions. Ignore them if you want to.
We were at the edge of a cliff - one that teenagers had been jumping off of for fun all morning - delete 'of'
We had waited for them to leave before sneaking off from our families - I might have used 'sneaking away from'
It was much farther down than I had originally thought, I realized when I ventured a peak over the edge. - I might have rearranged this is as 'When I ventured a peak over the edge, I realized it was much farther down than I had originally thought.'
I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Judy
Comment Written 19-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2021
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Hi! yikes - I'm sorry for the very late response, but thank you so much for reading and your feedback! I made those changes and appreciate you for catching them!
Comment from jenintorre
I must say this prologue really gripped me from start to finish and it difinately made me want to read on. Very well written.
Good luck with the book. Jen.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2021
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I must say this prologue really gripped me from start to finish and it difinately made me want to read on. Very well written.
Good luck with the book. Jen.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Glad you enjoyed this!
