Second Chances
Viewing comments for Prologue "prologue: the cliffs"Who is Zoe Vann? A second chance or a reminder?
26 total reviews
Comment from John Ciarmello
I hope you're going to continue on with this piece, as I feel cheated on the subject of what happened to Ana.
I know this is a prologue, but usually (and it's a small thing) "to be continued" is always used to lessen the confusion for readers.
I'm enjoying your work, Allieas! Best, JohnC
  |
I hope you're going to continue on with this piece, as I feel cheated on the subject of what happened to Ana.
I know this is a prologue, but usually (and it's a small thing) "to be continued" is always used to lessen the confusion for readers.
I'm enjoying your work, Allieas! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 26-Jan-2024
Comment from Dawn Munro
Nothing to critique in this fine prologue, IMHO. If I had a six left this week, it would adorn this start to a book I wish I could follow (although I might be dropping in anyway)! Wonderfully flawless.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
|
Nothing to critique in this fine prologue, IMHO. If I had a six left this week, it would adorn this start to a book I wish I could follow (although I might be dropping in anyway)! Wonderfully flawless.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much for reading and your kind review! I'm so honored you like it! I'd love to hear what you think about the rest
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Thank you for your service....... You have developed a great setting. You're foreshadowing is screaming: " "I bet you're too scaredy to jump!" I teased, giving Anamaria a small push. " What a twist to snap the reader conscious: " I hadn't had that dream in such a long time: why now? The barracks were completely devoid of any light." This si wise: "At least it gave me something else to think about. This was the wrong place to dwell on childhood nightmares. I wouldn't make it through with those kinds of thoughts on my mind." I look forward to the next chapter. I have it noted.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
|
Thank you for your service....... You have developed a great setting. You're foreshadowing is screaming: " "I bet you're too scaredy to jump!" I teased, giving Anamaria a small push. " What a twist to snap the reader conscious: " I hadn't had that dream in such a long time: why now? The barracks were completely devoid of any light." This si wise: "At least it gave me something else to think about. This was the wrong place to dwell on childhood nightmares. I wouldn't make it through with those kinds of thoughts on my mind." I look forward to the next chapter. I have it noted.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much for your generous comment! I'd love to hear more of your feedback if you get the time to read more!
-
I have this on my list to read It will happen slowly but it will get done
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, sometimes, those old memories just keep coming back in dreams, and many at the most inopportune times. Often the past dictating the future, against our thoughts and wishes. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
|
Yes, sometimes, those old memories just keep coming back in dreams, and many at the most inopportune times. Often the past dictating the future, against our thoughts and wishes. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for reading and your generous comment!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
So, did he kill her, Anamaria? Were the other teenagers jumping off the cliff into the water? Or was there a potential soft landing with a proper jump?
Good luck with the story.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
|
Nicely written.
So, did he kill her, Anamaria? Were the other teenagers jumping off the cliff into the water? Or was there a potential soft landing with a proper jump?
Good luck with the story.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for reading and commenting! Unfortunately, that day didn't end well for Anamaria, though the book plays with the idea that maybe reincarnation is possible
Comment from Navada
I'm intrigued now! I'm interested to know whether this dream represented a real event from childhood or an imagined one, and if it was real, whether Ana was ultimately okay. Good hook! :)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
|
I'm intrigued now! I'm interested to know whether this dream represented a real event from childhood or an imagined one, and if it was real, whether Ana was ultimately okay. Good hook! :)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for your thoughts! I'm glad this chapter drew you in! I'm worried that it may take too long to give more info about Anamaria/Bobby Blackwood later. I'm trying to change from being a pantser to a plotter with this one so hopefully it'll work out. I'd love to hear any feedback you may have!!
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent chapter. Such a vivid nightmare, and it has resurfaced during a time of equal stress. Hope it was only a nightmare anyway, and that the girl wasn't killed. Your writing definitely has enough tension to make one want to read more. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
|
An excellent chapter. Such a vivid nightmare, and it has resurfaced during a time of equal stress. Hope it was only a nightmare anyway, and that the girl wasn't killed. Your writing definitely has enough tension to make one want to read more. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much for reading and leaving your thoughts! I'd love to hear any other feedback you have if you make it back to my work! And I'm glad there's enough of a hook here. Thanks again!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Boy, that nightmare seemed totally real to me. What an awful thing. It had me gripped. You write very well. I look forward to more. Have a good week.
Karen
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
|
Boy, that nightmare seemed totally real to me. What an awful thing. It had me gripped. You write very well. I look forward to more. Have a good week.
Karen
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for reading and your review! I'm so glad it had you gripped! Hope you have a goo week, too!
-
You have three different stories going here. How in the world do you keep this all in your head? Kudos to you, wish I had a six left! :-) Karen
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
What I so enjoyed/appreciated about your story is that I, the reader, have no idea what happened to Anamaria, and that delights me, and makes me want to read Chapter 1.
Pretty tricky, there!
Just enough of a tease...
Looking forward to the next installment.
Loved the setting's description and the movement to dreams...
Much enjoyed!
diane
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
|
Hello!
What I so enjoyed/appreciated about your story is that I, the reader, have no idea what happened to Anamaria, and that delights me, and makes me want to read Chapter 1.
Pretty tricky, there!
Just enough of a tease...
Looking forward to the next installment.
Loved the setting's description and the movement to dreams...
Much enjoyed!
diane
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much for reading and your kind review! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story if you read on!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I enjoyed reading this Prologue and found once I started to read I had to continue so that is always a good sign. A childhood nightmare/memory coming up in times of stress makes for many options going forward. Hope we get to read more,
'
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
|
I enjoyed reading this Prologue and found once I started to read I had to continue so that is always a good sign. A childhood nightmare/memory coming up in times of stress makes for many options going forward. Hope we get to read more,
'
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. I'm so happy you enjoyed the prologue and felt compelled to read more! Hope you enjoy the rest, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!!
