Free Will
chain rhyming143 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
Brooke! can I be candidly honest with you and I respect you greatly as a poet and beautiful anally correct reviewer and all but I loved the words, I loved the intent but when you are allowed to be a free spirit your poems are exquisite, simple and collectively the verses are beautiful. I have rad this many times and once I realised that Sawyer wasn't in the picture (lol) and it WAS indeed one of yours and realised it wasn't typical ABCB but AABA format Except for the last verse of course which completely threw me in format: AAAA? or is 'engineer' a deliberately serendipitous inclusion in the scheme of the rhyme?
should there be more question marks in verse 2?
and that ONE proximate rhyme in disengaged and page?
The last three verses pose the rhetorical question.
just curious why you don't use the question mark when each rhetorical question is raised and yet in verse 4 you used the question mark twice? is that what a soliloquy does?
just curious because as you know ,when it comes to rules in poetry I am not a fan thereof. just can't understand how you can be so anally correct grammatically when reviewing but you seem to be a different animal when writing?
don't get me wrong I love the sound and how it READS allowed but everyone here seems hell bent on correcting syllabic count, iambic pantometer and technometer and so on yeat what people tells me is out of rhythm and meter with some of my line lengths is totally read with those ironed out that is why I get so frustrated with all that poetic bullshit...I just dis a couple of recitals at the nursing homes of my simple un iambic non syllable count rhymes and the read and were received perfectly!! mind you most of my audience who were predominantly in their 80's and dementia ed, were asleep after 2 poems lol
You know how many times I've changed my shit just to please the anal reviewr about beat and syllabic count only to read it in my original format the way I want it to read not the way its written? bloody heaps as I said in my eyes there are no rules in poetry and I wish everyone would stop looking toward the so called greats as being the be all and end all of poetry. Personally, I hate Shakespeare I think though brilliant his poetry is boring we are in the 21st century now..our influences and topics have moved on with many subjects both real and abstract in our modern society tackled in the written petic word..merely because they did not exist as prevalent in shakespeare's day.
Look at the end of the day we all have our muse there is room on fanstory for the TONULAKS, THE NOSHIS, THE RONDENOS , EVEN THE ADEWPEARLERS, and even the simple inlalaces ans uneven syllabic count of good old dr bloody dip!! lol
with respect AGAIN
dip
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Brooke! can I be candidly honest with you and I respect you greatly as a poet and beautiful anally correct reviewer and all but I loved the words, I loved the intent but when you are allowed to be a free spirit your poems are exquisite, simple and collectively the verses are beautiful. I have rad this many times and once I realised that Sawyer wasn't in the picture (lol) and it WAS indeed one of yours and realised it wasn't typical ABCB but AABA format Except for the last verse of course which completely threw me in format: AAAA? or is 'engineer' a deliberately serendipitous inclusion in the scheme of the rhyme?
should there be more question marks in verse 2?
and that ONE proximate rhyme in disengaged and page?
The last three verses pose the rhetorical question.
just curious why you don't use the question mark when each rhetorical question is raised and yet in verse 4 you used the question mark twice? is that what a soliloquy does?
just curious because as you know ,when it comes to rules in poetry I am not a fan thereof. just can't understand how you can be so anally correct grammatically when reviewing but you seem to be a different animal when writing?
don't get me wrong I love the sound and how it READS allowed but everyone here seems hell bent on correcting syllabic count, iambic pantometer and technometer and so on yeat what people tells me is out of rhythm and meter with some of my line lengths is totally read with those ironed out that is why I get so frustrated with all that poetic bullshit...I just dis a couple of recitals at the nursing homes of my simple un iambic non syllable count rhymes and the read and were received perfectly!! mind you most of my audience who were predominantly in their 80's and dementia ed, were asleep after 2 poems lol
You know how many times I've changed my shit just to please the anal reviewr about beat and syllabic count only to read it in my original format the way I want it to read not the way its written? bloody heaps as I said in my eyes there are no rules in poetry and I wish everyone would stop looking toward the so called greats as being the be all and end all of poetry. Personally, I hate Shakespeare I think though brilliant his poetry is boring we are in the 21st century now..our influences and topics have moved on with many subjects both real and abstract in our modern society tackled in the written petic word..merely because they did not exist as prevalent in shakespeare's day.
Look at the end of the day we all have our muse there is room on fanstory for the TONULAKS, THE NOSHIS, THE RONDENOS , EVEN THE ADEWPEARLERS, and even the simple inlalaces ans uneven syllabic count of good old dr bloody dip!! lol
with respect AGAIN
dip
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Dip, thank you :-) The rhyme scheme is a chain rhyme - aaba bbcb ccdc - the final stanza is mono-rhyming in the style of Robert Frost's chain rhymed poem, Stopping by Woods, one of my favorite poems. I place question marks at the end of complete sentences/questions. If a sentence/question is continued into the next stanza, I don't place the question mark until I've finished asking the question.
I hope when you're thinking unkindly of those who ask you to change your meter you remember that I'm not one of those reviewers. You often comment on my beat/meter to say you'd like it to be different, but I do not make those sorts of comments about your poems. I do things like correct apostrophe placement.
I think it's great that you do readings at nursing homes :-) Brooke
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my favourite poem of all time is Robert frost's the road not taken funnily enough even before I found the will or passion to write somw 5 years ago I always remember reading this at school and loved the theme it conveyed to me.
THE only reason I comment on your beat meter is that I WANT it to be different!! you have a beautiful way with words but I just want to see another side of your work that's all.
I love doing the nursing home gigs and I am now reciting to years 5 and 6 kids at the local public schools..so I best make sur my syllabic count is perfect for all those anal librarians and English teachers hey? lol
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I loved your poem, Brooke. It flowed nicely and sounded awesome. ' A script from which I cannot sway, directed by some puppeteer, who tells me what I must obey' was my favorite part!!!
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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I loved your poem, Brooke. It flowed nicely and sounded awesome. ' A script from which I cannot sway, directed by some puppeteer, who tells me what I must obey' was my favorite part!!!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Linda, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Rmocruz
A profound life message is poetically presented.
All I can say,
Exceptional in every way.
I have no sonnet to bequeath.
A pleasure to have read.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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A profound life message is poetically presented.
All I can say,
Exceptional in every way.
I have no sonnet to bequeath.
A pleasure to have read.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Rmocruz, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
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You're welcome Brooke, it was well earned.
Rich.
Comment from Lena Borghi
Love the form. As usual, you introduce me to a rhyme scheme I am unfamiliar with that I want to try :)
Great theme and one dear to my own heart. There are those for whom this is life, until they realize it and then, watch out!
Love this. Well done!
Lena
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Love the form. As usual, you introduce me to a rhyme scheme I am unfamiliar with that I want to try :)
Great theme and one dear to my own heart. There are those for whom this is life, until they realize it and then, watch out!
Love this. Well done!
Lena
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Lena, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I like this poem. It is a light look at the deep question of life. Light in the sense that it is not all bogged down in inner turmoil, more a sort of curious look, a cock of the head at this mystery we wake up to (most) days...padumachitta
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Hi. I like this poem. It is a light look at the deep question of life. Light in the sense that it is not all bogged down in inner turmoil, more a sort of curious look, a cock of the head at this mystery we wake up to (most) days...padumachitta
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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thank you so much, padumachitta, for your insightful observations :-) Brooke
Comment from barkingdog
One wonders if we are destined follow a predetermined path. Many call success a fluke or luck of the draw.
Masterful enjambment from line to line and verse to verse.
Excellent use of Shakespearian references.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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One wonders if we are destined follow a predetermined path. Many call success a fluke or luck of the draw.
Masterful enjambment from line to line and verse to verse.
Excellent use of Shakespearian references.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Thank you so very much, Ellen - I so appreciate your insights and generous sixth star :-) Brooke
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You're most welcome, Brooke. :)e
Comment from robina1978
Nice photo again to complement your poem. You quoted Shakespeare, he has said many wise words. I have never read him. How original to name your daughter after Prospero.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Nice photo again to complement your poem. You quoted Shakespeare, he has said many wise words. I have never read him. How original to name your daughter after Prospero.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Ine :-) I appreciate your generous response to this poem. Miranda is Prospero's teenage daughter in this story :-) Brooke
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Love this profound poetic proclamation... I truly believe that we are the masters of our own destinies. For sure "We are such stuff as dreams are made of..."
What a beautiful piece Brook!
:)
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Love this profound poetic proclamation... I truly believe that we are the masters of our own destinies. For sure "We are such stuff as dreams are made of..."
What a beautiful piece Brook!
:)
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Aurora, thank you so very much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Brooke,
Thought provoking nice piece of poetry beautifully enshrining Shakespeare's views with apt Question Marks!
Wording is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth flow with, as usual, lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Hello Brooke,
Thought provoking nice piece of poetry beautifully enshrining Shakespeare's views with apt Question Marks!
Wording is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth flow with, as usual, lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Excellent!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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RP, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Lulube
Yes "All the world's a stage........" great speech. So simple to see.
good rhyming here. and lots to think about. Questions never asked.
good job
lulube
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Yes "All the world's a stage........" great speech. So simple to see.
good rhyming here. and lots to think about. Questions never asked.
good job
lulube
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, lulube :-) Brooke
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welcome Brooke
lulube
