Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "An Ancient Embrace: Part Two"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
22 total reviews
Comment from Michaelk
I'm curious, with Farth now be a recurring character as well? Will he feel animosity toward them and try to ruin their plans whenever possible? The potential is there.
This was a great chapter. It flowed much more smoothly. I did notice one hiccup. When you said that Narina had an odd sensation as they approached the herd, you should've stopped there. Saying that Latar felt familiar with the situation , then having both of them say the same thing was a little redundant. Other the that, this was an excellent chapter. I was happy that you didn't just copy the results from the last encounter. It gives the story another level of interest. The reader has to wonder what went wrong.
Great job.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I'm curious, with Farth now be a recurring character as well? Will he feel animosity toward them and try to ruin their plans whenever possible? The potential is there.
This was a great chapter. It flowed much more smoothly. I did notice one hiccup. When you said that Narina had an odd sensation as they approached the herd, you should've stopped there. Saying that Latar felt familiar with the situation , then having both of them say the same thing was a little redundant. Other the that, this was an excellent chapter. I was happy that you didn't just copy the results from the last encounter. It gives the story another level of interest. The reader has to wonder what went wrong.
Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from Keith Argyle
I gave this six stars as I liked the unusual content of how the story moved on. It flowed well, even with the odd moments of broken language, it worked. I look forward to more of this and would like to be a fan of this writer. I feel that this story has much more to offer as it progresses. The characters are realistic and I like the selection of names. The small section that shows thought in an italic works very well too. I also use this technique. I also like the references to the gods and their intervention with the girls. It was interesting also with the mention of Fog, this is rarely used in stories. It has obviously been well thought out and I look forward to more of the story to come. I thought the pace was about right too, it kept me hung on the storyline and makes you want to read more. Although the name Neanderthal wasn't used, it came over very well that these people could have been this race of people, or at least something very close to them. It will be interesting to see how this story progresses. Well done Michael. Keep up the god work.
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I gave this six stars as I liked the unusual content of how the story moved on. It flowed well, even with the odd moments of broken language, it worked. I look forward to more of this and would like to be a fan of this writer. I feel that this story has much more to offer as it progresses. The characters are realistic and I like the selection of names. The small section that shows thought in an italic works very well too. I also use this technique. I also like the references to the gods and their intervention with the girls. It was interesting also with the mention of Fog, this is rarely used in stories. It has obviously been well thought out and I look forward to more of the story to come. I thought the pace was about right too, it kept me hung on the storyline and makes you want to read more. Although the name Neanderthal wasn't used, it came over very well that these people could have been this race of people, or at least something very close to them. It will be interesting to see how this story progresses. Well done Michael. Keep up the god work.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
