Another Day
Free Style68 total reviews
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Nice philosophical poem.It is amazing how pain is dulled and vanishes with sleep. The lines in the stanza below captures it really well.
thoughts of pain
will soon depart
a world of dreams awaits
to appear at last
Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Nice philosophical poem.It is amazing how pain is dulled and vanishes with sleep. The lines in the stanza below captures it really well.
thoughts of pain
will soon depart
a world of dreams awaits
to appear at last
Well done.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so very much, great comment. Pili
Comment from adewpearl
gorgeous presentation of your poem
good use of enjambment
good alliteration in forms float
vivid detail of setting
soulful expression of emotion
my mind plunges into a sea of me - fantastic imagery that intensifies the emotion
what lays within - lies
extremely strong emotional appeal in your closing lines
Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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gorgeous presentation of your poem
good use of enjambment
good alliteration in forms float
vivid detail of setting
soulful expression of emotion
my mind plunges into a sea of me - fantastic imagery that intensifies the emotion
what lays within - lies
extremely strong emotional appeal in your closing lines
Brooke
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you my friend for such fabulous comment and help. Big smile. Pili
Comment from kiwisteveh
A lovely portrayal of that time of peace at the end of the day when we all pause to reflect.
a world of dreams awaits
to appear at last
...although sometimes, as your last stanza suggests, the thoughts may not be happy ones.
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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A lovely portrayal of that time of peace at the end of the day when we all pause to reflect.
a world of dreams awaits
to appear at last
...although sometimes, as your last stanza suggests, the thoughts may not be happy ones.
Steve
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you Steve for a great comment. Pili
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Pili.
Excellent imagery and expression of what nightfall means to you.
My fave lines:
'my mind plunges into a sea of me'
Excellent 's' sounds and alliteration at the end.
Top free verse.
Cheers, Ray xx
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Hi, Pili.
Excellent imagery and expression of what nightfall means to you.
My fave lines:
'my mind plunges into a sea of me'
Excellent 's' sounds and alliteration at the end.
Top free verse.
Cheers, Ray xx
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Love your comment , thank you so much my friend. Pili
Comment from royowen
The inner us is sometimes counter productive, the self pondering can also be most productive, as long as we forgive ourselves, accept we are unique! beautifully written, descriptively expressive, the language you use is eloquently presented, well done, blessings, Pili, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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The inner us is sometimes counter productive, the self pondering can also be most productive, as long as we forgive ourselves, accept we are unique! beautifully written, descriptively expressive, the language you use is eloquently presented, well done, blessings, Pili, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for your fantastic review. Pili
Comment from Nosha17
Yes, there is solace in the closing day and thoughts of dreams to come. Well chosen words and imagery to convey your thoughts. Good use of descriptive language. I spotted an error, hope you don't mind, last verse, 'what lies within'. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Yes, there is solace in the closing day and thoughts of dreams to come. Well chosen words and imagery to convey your thoughts. Good use of descriptive language. I spotted an error, hope you don't mind, last verse, 'what lies within'. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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I am glad you enjoy it, thank you so much for a great review. Pili
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Pili,
I like the way you start out with another day being gone, though the mind doesn't stop turning. One still must continue, no matter the their thoughts, good, bad, or indifferent.
Nicely done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Hi, Pili,
I like the way you start out with another day being gone, though the mind doesn't stop turning. One still must continue, no matter the their thoughts, good, bad, or indifferent.
Nicely done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much Jax, great comment. Pili
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is an interesting poetic work which delves into the deeper feelings and emotions of a heart. I liked your dynamic colour choice for the presentation, Giddy
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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This is an interesting poetic work which delves into the deeper feelings and emotions of a heart. I liked your dynamic colour choice for the presentation, Giddy
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much Giddy for a great comment. Pili
Comment from visionary1234
This is just beautiful Pili! Gentle, reflective, wise, resigned, painful and very very human.
a thousand meanings
of what lays(lies) within
sorrows hide in your shadows
in somnolent heaviness
I sigh
A lovely conclusion!
Beautiful work!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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This is just beautiful Pili! Gentle, reflective, wise, resigned, painful and very very human.
a thousand meanings
of what lays(lies) within
sorrows hide in your shadows
in somnolent heaviness
I sigh
A lovely conclusion!
Beautiful work!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you my friend , love your comment. Pili
Comment from reconciled
I was wondering how we met....the otherday....it was different...we weren't fans...I believe I read a review...that led me to your profile...and your story...history., and I was moved....I wrote that poem....then contacted you to see if you approved. I'm sorry I've been away....Pili...are the pills still helping...? alright give me your hand, its going to be okay....lets go sit in the garden and rest. I'm always loving you Michael
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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I was wondering how we met....the otherday....it was different...we weren't fans...I believe I read a review...that led me to your profile...and your story...history., and I was moved....I wrote that poem....then contacted you to see if you approved. I'm sorry I've been away....Pili...are the pills still helping...? alright give me your hand, its going to be okay....lets go sit in the garden and rest. I'm always loving you Michael
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Yeeeeeepyyyyyyyy, thank you Miguelito , I sit with you in the garden all the time....did you know that, thank you for your generosity and love. Hug
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yes, I know....I wont let anything take me away from our special place again..I promise...-smile- love you-
