Another Day
Free Style68 total reviews
Comment from cupa tea
Strikes me as a sad poem...it has a good flow...it tells a story somewhat...and the picture is stunning...if this is for a contest...good luck
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Strikes me as a sad poem...it has a good flow...it tells a story somewhat...and the picture is stunning...if this is for a contest...good luck
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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No , it is not a contest , thank you so much for your comment. Pili
Comment from acerisestory
I am not sure I can detect the meaning of your words in this melancholy write, Pili. What I can say is this free verse poem is beautifully written.
The alliteration and enjambment you've used make for a lovely flow. This stanza is particularly moving to me:
Inward mysteries
reveal hidden truths
my mind plunges
Into a sea of me.
Thank you for sharing. Take care. Alana
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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I am not sure I can detect the meaning of your words in this melancholy write, Pili. What I can say is this free verse poem is beautifully written.
The alliteration and enjambment you've used make for a lovely flow. This stanza is particularly moving to me:
Inward mysteries
reveal hidden truths
my mind plunges
Into a sea of me.
Thank you for sharing. Take care. Alana
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for a terrific honest comment. Pili
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You are welcome, Pili. Alana
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Smiles... Pili
Comment from l.raven
HI Pili, God doesn't close one door ...without opening another...at least that is what I was told...I love your poem...so very well written...and a beautiful picture....Luff Linda xxoo Luff
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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HI Pili, God doesn't close one door ...without opening another...at least that is what I was told...I love your poem...so very well written...and a beautiful picture....Luff Linda xxoo Luff
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Hey Linda, thank you so much my friend. Hugs. Pili
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you are so welcome Pili...xxoo
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Big smiles...
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smiling back....xxoo
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Sweet girl , nighty ... Zzzzzzz
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you have sweet dreams Pili...nighty to you too!!!!
Comment from amahra
Very very nice poem. There were no author notes. Some words felt thrown into what started as a beautiful poem. Loved the art work and the color blue.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Very very nice poem. There were no author notes. Some words felt thrown into what started as a beautiful poem. Loved the art work and the color blue.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so very much Amahra. Pili
Comment from ravenblack
Slipping into sleep, into that sea of the unconscious, inward into the self where the days events unfold in dream. I really like " sea of me", the plunge through and from the forms that float around. The entire poem is presented as 1st person and to be honest, I don't think the switch to "you" in your shadows works not to mention that the heaviness of the poem is artfully implied. Just a suggestion, but think of
a thousand meanings
of what lies within
in somnolent heaviness
I sigh
Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Slipping into sleep, into that sea of the unconscious, inward into the self where the days events unfold in dream. I really like " sea of me", the plunge through and from the forms that float around. The entire poem is presented as 1st person and to be honest, I don't think the switch to "you" in your shadows works not to mention that the heaviness of the poem is artfully implied. Just a suggestion, but think of
a thousand meanings
of what lies within
in somnolent heaviness
I sigh
Excellent poem.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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I will , thank you for the suggestion . Wonderful comment. Pili
Comment from Glasstruth
Nice enjambment throughout. This shows the cycle of time as well as life. Dreaming is another world which couldn't exist if not for this one. My favorite verse:
"Inward mysteries
reveal hidden truths
my mind plunges
Into a sea of me "
Beautifully written. Les
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Nice enjambment throughout. This shows the cycle of time as well as life. Dreaming is another world which couldn't exist if not for this one. My favorite verse:
"Inward mysteries
reveal hidden truths
my mind plunges
Into a sea of me "
Beautifully written. Les
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for a wonderful review. Pili
Comment from amada
This is a lovely melancholic work. We all feel like that sometimes, too much weight!. Great inspiration as well. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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This is a lovely melancholic work. We all feel like that sometimes, too much weight!. Great inspiration as well. Best wishes.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much Amada, great review. Pili
Comment from Just2Write
Sometimes, night bring solace to the troubled soul - and what a wonderful blessing it is that we can escape our woes by dreaming in the comfort of our beds.
my mind plunges
Into a sea of me
What a gorgeous line that is. Well said, and it helps us to reflect on that sometimes, indulging ourselves is exactly what we need to do.
Thanks for the new-to-me word: somnolent It fits perfectly into the poem.
Rose.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Sometimes, night bring solace to the troubled soul - and what a wonderful blessing it is that we can escape our woes by dreaming in the comfort of our beds.
my mind plunges
Into a sea of me
What a gorgeous line that is. Well said, and it helps us to reflect on that sometimes, indulging ourselves is exactly what we need to do.
Thanks for the new-to-me word: somnolent It fits perfectly into the poem.
Rose.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Very meaningful comment , thank you so much. Pili
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Pili,
I really enjoyed this poem as it reflects how mysterious our subconscious minds are. Dreams come in fragments of information with symbols not easily understood. Nicely written.
Hugs,
lou
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Hi Pili,
I really enjoyed this poem as it reflects how mysterious our subconscious minds are. Dreams come in fragments of information with symbols not easily understood. Nicely written.
Hugs,
lou
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Wonderful comment Louise, thank you so much. Pili
Comment from Kingsland
This has the sound of someone having a pity party, or oh woe is me. At least that is what I took away from your message here. This was well written piece of poetic art... John
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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This has the sound of someone having a pity party, or oh woe is me. At least that is what I took away from your message here. This was well written piece of poetic art... John
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much John. Pili
