Comment from brentman99

Excellent

A nice poem. Too bad that pictures couldn't be used.

I like the use of opposites - a desert being drowned by a storm is a great visual. I also like the use of a modern term - safe house - for a natural thing like a shell.

Nice job. Good luck in the contest. Brent.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thanks, Brent. Glad you liked it.

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

a storm in the desert "haiku (storm drowns desert as)" This is as fine a Haiku as I have read anywhere, with a perfect syllable count. Well done.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thanks. Appreciate your comments.

reply by chasennov on 02-Sep-2014

You are most welcome.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I love the multi dimensional poem entered in " storm "haiku contest. This ambivalent work is very clever and excellently composed, it is definitely a good entry in the competition, well done, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thank you, roy. I appreciate your comments and review.

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

If we could only be as safe as the turtle. Is this really a destert or just a very dry, maybe drought stricken area.

I don't ever think of a desert getting a downpour.

Good luck in the contest. It is a very good entry.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

I live in the Mojave Desert. We rarely get rain now, because there is a drought, but when there is heavy rain, the soil can't hold it. Happens once every few years. Worst "flash flood" I've been in happened in August, 1984. Water was waist high in some streets and seeped into houses. Luckily, we were on the high side of the street. Very rare, though.

reply by dragonpoet on 02-Sep-2014

Good fact to know. Deserts can get flash floods like those on rivers and lakes.

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

We get so-called cloudbursts, and the sandy soil can't absorb much water. The run-off does the flooding.

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

storm drowns desert as
wise tortoise shelters in shell
nature's own safe house

a clever tortoise and a clever entry to the contest about a storm.

good luck in the contest Mary

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thanks for reading and for your comments.

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Friend,
Lovely piece of poetry in the form of 'Haiku'!
It fulfills all the prescribed/desired norms and beautifully depicts its theme.
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching the theme.
Smooth flow with its own rhythm and lively imagery.
Excellent!
Best of Luck!!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thanks, RP. Glad you like it. I appreciate the review AND the six stars.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

A perfect haiku in seventeen syllables. Your first two lines are interconnecting perfectly and your satori is very good. This was in perfect 5/7/5 form. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thanks, Dorothy. Appreciate your comments and review.

Comment from Sanku

Excellent

Your poem sticks to the conditions of the prompt .17 syllables and the theme is about storm in the desert .the imagery of tortoise withdrawing into its shell without any fear for the storm is very good.All the best for the contest

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Thanks, Sanku. It's my first haiku.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

storm drowns desert as
wise tortoise shelters in shell
nature's own safe house

such a clever use of words in this Haiku

Good luck with the contest, my friend.

Margaret

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Hello, Margaret, and thanks for reviewing.

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

a pity you did not accompany this haiku with a photo or image I think that is important in haiku poetry as it really completes its meaning.."a picture tells a thousand words"?

just a suggestion

dip

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014

Sorry, but the rules of the contest said "no artwork or pictures." Thanks for reading and reviewing.