haiku (storm drowns desert)
a storm in the desert125 total reviews
Comment from SikIrishChik
What a great haiku! I love when someone can paint such a big visual picture, while at the same time using so few words. It's so much harder than one may think capable. Well you did that for me here with your haiku poem "Storm Drowns Desert"
I loved "natures own safe house"
Great job and I look forward to reading more of your work;-)
Good luck in contest...
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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What a great haiku! I love when someone can paint such a big visual picture, while at the same time using so few words. It's so much harder than one may think capable. Well you did that for me here with your haiku poem "Storm Drowns Desert"
I loved "natures own safe house"
Great job and I look forward to reading more of your work;-)
Good luck in contest...
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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I'm so happy! It's my first haiku, ya know? thanks for reviewing and for your comments.
Comment from Caressa_08
This is a pretty good, creative & likely true to what can occur if a rain storm did occur in a desert....Infrequent, though does happen now & then..these reptiles live so long & like your poem indicates they do have their own safe house, nature provided.
Caressa
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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This is a pretty good, creative & likely true to what can occur if a rain storm did occur in a desert....Infrequent, though does happen now & then..these reptiles live so long & like your poem indicates they do have their own safe house, nature provided.
Caressa
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thanks for reviewing, Caressa. I appreciate it.
Comment from Xylok
great imagery; I have never pictured a tortoise in the desert before much less during a sandstorm but that has all changed now. good way of showing just how handy those shells can be, in very few words. brevity is the soul of with Billy Shakespeare quipped, and you have added evidence via this poem to his claim. well done. thanks for sharing it. the word drowns really adds to the potency of the storm too.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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great imagery; I have never pictured a tortoise in the desert before much less during a sandstorm but that has all changed now. good way of showing just how handy those shells can be, in very few words. brevity is the soul of with Billy Shakespeare quipped, and you have added evidence via this poem to his claim. well done. thanks for sharing it. the word drowns really adds to the potency of the storm too.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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I tried for alliteration. Glad you like it, Xylok. It's my first haiku. Thanks for reviewing and for your comments.
Comment from fastdigits
Without any artwork you have managed
to paint this nature Haiku showing the
storm that overtakes the desert showing
the wisdom of nature is giving the
tortoise that wonderful house that he
takes with him everywhere that
becomes his house in a storm.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Without any artwork you have managed
to paint this nature Haiku showing the
storm that overtakes the desert showing
the wisdom of nature is giving the
tortoise that wonderful house that he
takes with him everywhere that
becomes his house in a storm.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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thanks for your review and encouraging words.
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your few words allow the reader to see and feel the wise tortoise has his own safe house to shelter fro danger
good visual
your second line has 8 syllable count not sure if allowed as states 5-7-5 or less
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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good luck in the contest
your few words allow the reader to see and feel the wise tortoise has his own safe house to shelter fro danger
good visual
your second line has 8 syllable count not sure if allowed as states 5-7-5 or less
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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It's OK. Not a 5/7/5, just 17 syllables or less. Thanks for the review.
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that is fine then welcome ..SC
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a powerful read. You did it! A complete message in just a few words. This is why I love Haiku Poetry.
Best wishes in the contest!
:)
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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This is a powerful read. You did it! A complete message in just a few words. This is why I love Haiku Poetry.
Best wishes in the contest!
:)
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Thanks! My first haiku. Appreciate the supportive comments.
Comment from mjac777
storm drowns desert
while wise tortoise shelters in shell
nature's own safe house
Where do you get your amazing creativity from?
This is just perfect! Technically and artistically.
I love the image of a turtle all snug in his "home" during a storm.
Good luck in the contest - it's a sure win.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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storm drowns desert
while wise tortoise shelters in shell
nature's own safe house
Where do you get your amazing creativity from?
This is just perfect! Technically and artistically.
I love the image of a turtle all snug in his "home" during a storm.
Good luck in the contest - it's a sure win.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Thanks again!
Comment from tedanytime
Well done haiku. Good luck in the contest.
One can see the desert storm... hiding in it's own natural shelter, the tortoise is safe from the pelting rain or hail.
Hopefully he got out of the arroyo up to higher ground, else he might find abode far away.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Well done haiku. Good luck in the contest.
One can see the desert storm... hiding in it's own natural shelter, the tortoise is safe from the pelting rain or hail.
Hopefully he got out of the arroyo up to higher ground, else he might find abode far away.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the review, and the humor!
Comment from seaglass
It is truly amazing to see how quickly the dry arid desert turns into flood lands when it gets an occasional rain. Yet the wild life survives. This poem describes how one of these creatures does it.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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It is truly amazing to see how quickly the dry arid desert turns into flood lands when it gets an occasional rain. Yet the wild life survives. This poem describes how one of these creatures does it.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Glad you liked it, seaglass. My first haiku.
Comment from judiverse
So many rules to follow. You did a great job of following them all. It's a wonder of nature that creatures are able to take care of themselves in extreme weather. I loved your wording of "nature's own safe house." That really describes it. Excellent alliteration in drowns and desert. Interesting description of the tortoise as being wise. Best of luck to you in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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So many rules to follow. You did a great job of following them all. It's a wonder of nature that creatures are able to take care of themselves in extreme weather. I loved your wording of "nature's own safe house." That really describes it. Excellent alliteration in drowns and desert. Interesting description of the tortoise as being wise. Best of luck to you in the contest. judi
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
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Thanks, judi. It's my first haiku.
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Good for you for trying haiku. They seem to have so many different interpretations. judi
