Turncoat!
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Turncoat, Part 7"WW2 One soldier's ordeal at the fall of Berlin
47 total reviews
Comment from camaria
The mystery of Shutte's identity and the incongruity of his hardness with the Hitler youth and his softness with the stray kitten made for an intriguing read. No nits that I could find. Excellent read as always.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
  |
The mystery of Shutte's identity and the incongruity of his hardness with the Hitler youth and his softness with the stray kitten made for an intriguing read. No nits that I could find. Excellent read as always.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
-
Schutte is a sociopath -- no loyalties, no rules but his own. Created by Marilyn Callahan (MRCALLAHAN) who loaned him to me.
Comment from fafa
a work that has been recognized all the attention deserves and in its reading I felt caught bythe history, congratulations, greetings
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
|
a work that has been recognized all the attention deserves and in its reading I felt caught bythe history, congratulations, greetings
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
-
Thank you.
Comment from Acquired Taste
I knew the photo was very familiar and your synopsis at the very beginning is much appreciated.
I like the 'tightness' of the writing. Informative, visual and intriguing in that I want to see where this goes...
Continue on - very enjoyable read. AT=/
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
|
I knew the photo was very familiar and your synopsis at the very beginning is much appreciated.
I like the 'tightness' of the writing. Informative, visual and intriguing in that I want to see where this goes...
Continue on - very enjoyable read. AT=/
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
-
Hello, AT. I'm glad you like it and will try to get another up soon.
Comment from AAud
I really liked the flow of your installment. The dialog was interesting and done well. Your portrayal of Elsa is pitch perfect. I can't stand her. LOL.
Great job parsing out information a little at a time. Schmidt broadcasting propaganda was a cool bit of information.
Once all three (plus the kitten) start on the move, things should really heat up.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
|
I really liked the flow of your installment. The dialog was interesting and done well. Your portrayal of Elsa is pitch perfect. I can't stand her. LOL.
Great job parsing out information a little at a time. Schmidt broadcasting propaganda was a cool bit of information.
Once all three (plus the kitten) start on the move, things should really heat up.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
-
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comments and your review.
Comment from Emily George
He's a bit of a pig but I think there will be more to come,funny how some prefer animals to people.
Good story line and interesting dialogue between your characters.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
|
He's a bit of a pig but I think there will be more to come,funny how some prefer animals to people.
Good story line and interesting dialogue between your characters.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
-
Glad you like it, Emily George. Thanks for reading and for your review.
Comment from GracieAnn
nor84, I enjoyed this write and I appreciate the synopsis to prep the reader. For dropping in such as I, a list of characters would be helpful for the reader. You have successfully begun to build the characters of the players in short order. No spags that I could see. Well written. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
|
nor84, I enjoyed this write and I appreciate the synopsis to prep the reader. For dropping in such as I, a list of characters would be helpful for the reader. You have successfully begun to build the characters of the players in short order. No spags that I could see. Well written. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, GracieAnn. Will remember to make a list of the players next time. For this time: Hans Schmidt is the main character. Elsa is his fiancee -- or was about 6 years previous. Schutte is just a guy they've met, and Hans had been attacked earlier. Decided he needed backup, and Schutte is a big fellow about his age. Sinister, though. Murdered one of the people who attacked Hans even though Hans didn't want him to do that.
-
The explanation you wrote would be a great intro for your chapter. I appreciate your effort. :0 GracieAnn
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent. I'm out of sixes, Nor, so you'll just have to take five plus lots of praise.
What I like/admire is that you would never know this was written by a woman. I mean, Hans' voice is very masculine, his actions and demeanor totally authentic to the setting. There's no hint of anything other than a soldier.
He got a bit domineering with Elsa there, eh? I got quite excited for a minute. LOL!
Schutte grew on me a little this post. He's obviously a man with a secret, but he seemed a little more human this time. Open to communication. Or maybe you're just leading us down a path strewn with red herrings. (Bit stinky, that.)
Anyhoo. I only notice one teeny weeny thing that I thought I'd mention:
"Don't like risking myself for a woman, but...Agreed." - I think, if there's a capital following ellipses, that there should also be a period after the ellipses. Otherwise, the 'a' on agreed should be lower case. BUT, I'm not absolutely certain.
Nice job, Nor!
Av
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
|
Excellent. I'm out of sixes, Nor, so you'll just have to take five plus lots of praise.
What I like/admire is that you would never know this was written by a woman. I mean, Hans' voice is very masculine, his actions and demeanor totally authentic to the setting. There's no hint of anything other than a soldier.
He got a bit domineering with Elsa there, eh? I got quite excited for a minute. LOL!
Schutte grew on me a little this post. He's obviously a man with a secret, but he seemed a little more human this time. Open to communication. Or maybe you're just leading us down a path strewn with red herrings. (Bit stinky, that.)
Anyhoo. I only notice one teeny weeny thing that I thought I'd mention:
"Don't like risking myself for a woman, but...Agreed." - I think, if there's a capital following ellipses, that there should also be a period after the ellipses. Otherwise, the 'a' on agreed should be lower case. BUT, I'm not absolutely certain.
Nice job, Nor!
Av
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
-
I'm never sure I get males quite right, but all my life I've noticed one thing: You can play cowboys every day with the only kid in the area, a boy, and you're equal. Let his male cousin come to visit, and you're not part of the gang anymore. Same with my husband. When his brother shows up, they bond. It isn't said, and both are respectful, but it's there.
A fellow's point of view is that yeah, this scene is guys being guys. It's a bit more, too. Two males who are stranger. Which one is leader of the pack? Hans cannot let himself be unmanned, and Schutte sneered at him. He has to put Elsa in a woman's place -- preparing food or in bed. He can't let her sit (and flirt) with Schutte.
The kitten is the only thing in the world Schutte cares about...except his own skin. Yeah, I agree about that ellipsis.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a marvelous write and a wonderful reading experience. What strikes me most about this piece is how little was thought of the woman, yet there was still a willingness to protect her. We have come a very long way since then given that now women do as much protecting as men. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
|
This is a marvelous write and a wonderful reading experience. What strikes me most about this piece is how little was thought of the woman, yet there was still a willingness to protect her. We have come a very long way since then given that now women do as much protecting as men. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
-
Elsa is an overprotected and spoiled rich girl. She couldn't punch her way out of the proverbial paper bag.
Thanks for liking the story and for your review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A very well written story. I must have missed some chapters, but still got the gist of it, I think this should be an interesting partnership. Take care, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
|
A very well written story. I must have missed some chapters, but still got the gist of it, I think this should be an interesting partnership. Take care, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
-
Hello, Debbie. Glad you like it and hope you catch Part 8. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Aislinge
Nice scene, Norma. Love the kitten! The conflict between Hans and Elsa is good tension, and we learn Schutte is quite the chauvinist. I also like the contrast between Hans' hand and Schutte's. Great reveal without a lot of prose.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
|
Nice scene, Norma. Love the kitten! The conflict between Hans and Elsa is good tension, and we learn Schutte is quite the chauvinist. I also like the contrast between Hans' hand and Schutte's. Great reveal without a lot of prose.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
-
It's interesting to play one man against the other. Schutte was created by my friend Marilyn, and we wondered what would happen if he met Hans. They are polar opposites and they don't trust each other, but there's still a little bit of male bonding. Thanks for reading, as always.
