A Daughter, Step That Is.......
Conquering your past takes a mighty sword.12 total reviews
Comment from onebrit
Wow, this just flows and flows, full of love and hope and nurturing. A difficult life, its way too easy to look backwards , we all do it...the challenge is to look forwards, and change is always hard. Good luck.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Wow, this just flows and flows, full of love and hope and nurturing. A difficult life, its way too easy to look backwards , we all do it...the challenge is to look forwards, and change is always hard. Good luck.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Very nice onebrit. I showed this to my daughter, step that is, and it took her a while to dry her eyes. We have had some major skirmishes but now they are toned down a good bit. Who don't know the future but I pray the best for her in every way possible. MM
Comment from granny goes viral
I just love this. I don't know if it is a poem or prose, or a clever combination. But I do know what the message is. I really appreciate the message. I hope the one who reads it does too.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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I just love this. I don't know if it is a poem or prose, or a clever combination. But I do know what the message is. I really appreciate the message. I hope the one who reads it does too.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you for reading my work. I guess I could call in "prosetry" or something because it came at me really quick in about a 15 minute blast. I just didn't want to change how it flowed. There are some unintentional rhymes but I am going to leave them alone. The story is true and there it stands. Again, thanks for your review...and may you go "viral" very soon..MM
Comment from gypsycaravan
Beautiful story and beautifully written. So glad hope still resides within her and she has you to be there for her. Love this line----"A difficult time leaving Hell. "Thanks for posting and reminding all of us that others are walking paths that are painful daily and we should be empathic and not judgmental.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Beautiful story and beautifully written. So glad hope still resides within her and she has you to be there for her. Love this line----"A difficult time leaving Hell. "Thanks for posting and reminding all of us that others are walking paths that are painful daily and we should be empathic and not judgmental.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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gypsycaravan have a most wonderful morning. Thank you for the great comments and I appreciate them very much. This one sort of just exploded in my head and I was writing furiously for about 10-15 minutes till it was finished. You have reviewed a couple other of my works and I appreciate your faithfulness to us on fanstory. MM
Comment from faragon
Very well written and a very easy read. I like how you have the story set up as a poem. Especially nice tribute to your daughter, step that is! You must love her alot!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Very well written and a very easy read. I like how you have the story set up as a poem. Especially nice tribute to your daughter, step that is! You must love her alot!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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She is a challenge from time to time but the trip is worth it. Her Mom probably has endured the most thru all this. Thank you for the most kind words. MM
Comment from Dom G Robles
This piece is written in prose style, I think. It is half poem and half prose. The expressions are great. The picture of a lady with the unicorn expressed fully the theme. Though short, the prose ran pretty well. My ssincerest congratulations. Dom
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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This piece is written in prose style, I think. It is half poem and half prose. The expressions are great. The picture of a lady with the unicorn expressed fully the theme. Though short, the prose ran pretty well. My ssincerest congratulations. Dom
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Thank you Dom. As I stated in the author's notes this one came almost intact in less than 10 minutes sitting at my kitchen counter. Worked it a little but felt it was special and it has confused some readers as to style, but hey, they will be fine. Again, thanks for taking the time to read my short tribute piece to a lady who has and is working very diligently on her life. MM
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No problem, my friend. Have a nice day.
Comment from Jay Leeward
A remarkable paean to a remarkable young lady. I can understand how this might have come "fast and complete".
I'm still learning to appreciate poetry. A work like this makes it easier.
"She did climb and then fell, climbed and fell and fell again. A difficult
time leaving Hell."
I can understand and appreciate this poetry.
Thank you, sir, for the lesson in poetry (and writing, as well). And thank you for a poem that most any father, step or otherwise, will instantly recognize and take as his own.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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A remarkable paean to a remarkable young lady. I can understand how this might have come "fast and complete".
I'm still learning to appreciate poetry. A work like this makes it easier.
"She did climb and then fell, climbed and fell and fell again. A difficult
time leaving Hell."
I can understand and appreciate this poetry.
Thank you, sir, for the lesson in poetry (and writing, as well). And thank you for a poem that most any father, step or otherwise, will instantly recognize and take as his own.
Very well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Thank you for all your correct observations. It is not often a whole, complete work just drops in but when it does, it is quite remarkable. Keep reading and putting pen to word and never quit. Mossmouse
Comment from Tonulak
Nice to see you writing again. It isn't for me to critique, as I think every word is what you wanted to say. This was also allegorical and contained so many images of childhood fancy which was very effective here. Great job, I'm sure she'll love to read this--Ted
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Nice to see you writing again. It isn't for me to critique, as I think every word is what you wanted to say. This was also allegorical and contained so many images of childhood fancy which was very effective here. Great job, I'm sure she'll love to read this--Ted
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Mr. T I already responded to you on this one but sometimes words from the heart confuse the folks that are not in touch with theirs. Often I want to hang on to items I have written but it is important to challenge our readers from time to time and get them out of the shallow end of the emotional pool. MM
Comment from visionary1234
How sweet to have you back again, my dear - it's been a LONG time! If only our sons and daughters (and that includes 'steps') knew that mothers and fathers never stop being mothers and frathers, and never stop feeling the wounds of their progeny! What a lovely, heartfelt piece!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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How sweet to have you back again, my dear - it's been a LONG time! If only our sons and daughters (and that includes 'steps') knew that mothers and fathers never stop being mothers and frathers, and never stop feeling the wounds of their progeny! What a lovely, heartfelt piece!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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How is everything in Hawaii these days. Any rain
From that last storm. Thanks for taking the time to read my short work. MM
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How is everything in Hawaii these days. Any rain
From that last storm. Thanks for taking the time to read my short work. MM
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All is lovely my dear - Iselle missed us by 100 miles, thank goodness - wind, a little roof taking off into the ethers, but nothing serious ... gorgeous summer! lots of floating around the pool ... though B&B biz is slow, unfortunately! I've been tripping around a lot this year - Australia to see my mom (who's in mid stage Alzheimer's) ... then a much needed vacation with my husband to explore Red Rock country in Utah and Az (wonderful!) ... then over to England for my other son's 40th birthday. Happy to breathe a relaxed sigh and be back home for a while! I'm doing a fair bit of theatre work - learning long form 'improv' (I wish I were better at it!), and preparing to do one of my shows for next year's Fringe ... all in all, life is good. How about for you my dear???
:)Sharyn
Comment from jim lawler
This story is rather interesting but to me it's somewhat confusing at times. You should consider revising it. You generate much passion in your writing, which is good. Maybe you should consider being less philosophical and more down to earth when being descriptive. I think I know where you're coming from and can appreciate this piece, as I have steps also but express your feeling more clearly, they're a little vague. Good luck Jim Lawler
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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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This story is rather interesting but to me it's somewhat confusing at times. You should consider revising it. You generate much passion in your writing, which is good. Maybe you should consider being less philosophical and more down to earth when being descriptive. I think I know where you're coming from and can appreciate this piece, as I have steps also but express your feeling more clearly, they're a little vague. Good luck Jim Lawler
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Jim: thanks for reading my work and giving me my worst review in 4 years on fan story. I am digesting your points and always consider all that is stated about what I write. MM
Comment from reconciled
Conformation God is alive and well loved....is seen with discerning eyes in the lives of His lovers. I knew you were special Prophet...-smile-...and that you have been and will continue be her rock solid foundation. Thank you for showing me one of your crowns...it is most beautiful.....love michael
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Conformation God is alive and well loved....is seen with discerning eyes in the lives of His lovers. I knew you were special Prophet...-smile-...and that you have been and will continue be her rock solid foundation. Thank you for showing me one of your crowns...it is most beautiful.....love michael
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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A little thick Mr. Mike but nevertheless greatly appreciated.
MM
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think love heals...as you've noted with your words...-smile-
