Of Icky Things and Girls
You can't let your guard down for a moment.46 total reviews
Comment from nor84
Want to lose a comma, Lee?
Take this: Aside from the troublesome cowlick that, on windy days, made him look like a weather vane, Gerald was as unremarkable as a silent fart in the Grand Canyon.
AND DO THIS:
Aside from the troublesome cowlick that made him look like a weather van on windy days, Gerald was as unremarkable as a silent fart in the Grand Canyon.
He had no training tit training.>>>love that line!
Great!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Want to lose a comma, Lee?
Take this: Aside from the troublesome cowlick that, on windy days, made him look like a weather vane, Gerald was as unremarkable as a silent fart in the Grand Canyon.
AND DO THIS:
Aside from the troublesome cowlick that made him look like a weather van on windy days, Gerald was as unremarkable as a silent fart in the Grand Canyon.
He had no training tit training.>>>love that line!
Great!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Norma. I lose commas all the time! I sprinkle them way too liberally. Like salt on my fried eggs. I will take you advice. I appreciate. No training tit training cracked me up, too. I'm such an adolescent.
Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Spitfire
LOLOL. What a delightful read. Poor Gerald was in over his head. Good job of showing his awkwardness and naivety. Love the business about falsies and butts. Is this really what guys think about? I first played PO in sixth grade and all I could think of was the kiss. Exceptional job with the slang expressions. Great ending.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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LOLOL. What a delightful read. Poor Gerald was in over his head. Good job of showing his awkwardness and naivety. Love the business about falsies and butts. Is this really what guys think about? I first played PO in sixth grade and all I could think of was the kiss. Exceptional job with the slang expressions. Great ending.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Shari. I always enjoy reliving my awkward past. Like yesterday. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from rama devi
All he'd come for was ice cream and cake but he ended up with tons of icky mail. LOL
Cute story.
Good deep POV--the reader totally gets into Generic Gerald's head.
Good dialog, true to the scene. The narrative runs along at a crisp clip. Nice smattering of poetic devices woven in to your prose, like the clever alliteration here:
The girlie giggles were now augmented by guy guffaws
As usual, this is laced with witty one liners, too.
Well done, my friend.
Was any of this biographical? LOL
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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All he'd come for was ice cream and cake but he ended up with tons of icky mail. LOL
Cute story.
Good deep POV--the reader totally gets into Generic Gerald's head.
Good dialog, true to the scene. The narrative runs along at a crisp clip. Nice smattering of poetic devices woven in to your prose, like the clever alliteration here:
The girlie giggles were now augmented by guy guffaws
As usual, this is laced with witty one liners, too.
Well done, my friend.
Was any of this biographical? LOL
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thank you, rd. This was biographical in 'sense', but the characters and actions are made up. My first game of Post Office was not nearly this interesting. Thanks for noticing the poetic devices. All my favorite authors weave these little 'rewards for astute readers' into their prose. To me, they are signs of respect.
Thank you again, rd. Peace, Lee
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Ah yes, this one was interesting! Indeed, poetic devices are respectful and considerate...delightful, too. Love, rd
Comment from Ric Myworld
In the winter, falsies make great ear muffs. That is unless the wearer has giant ears that they won't cover. I guess we all can remember feeling the shapes of those round, firm, budding boobies through flimsy falsies. They weren't much, but the effects kept us thinking about boobs till the next time. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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In the winter, falsies make great ear muffs. That is unless the wearer has giant ears that they won't cover. I guess we all can remember feeling the shapes of those round, firm, budding boobies through flimsy falsies. They weren't much, but the effects kept us thinking about boobs till the next time. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Ric. I wear falsies on my ears every winter. My neighbors love it. Glad you enjoyed, my friend.
Peace, Lee
Comment from JBCaine
Hump-
I had spacing issues a lot when I was younger...
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yeah... uh... Post Office.
Nicely done, Sir.
"Feels like dungarees." is fighting it out here at my house with the whole segment on girl-butt in general. No super-farting, indeed.
You have managed yet again to capture the characters in a totally believable and real way. Very enjoyable.
JBCaine-
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Hump-
I had spacing issues a lot when I was younger...
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yeah... uh... Post Office.
Nicely done, Sir.
"Feels like dungarees." is fighting it out here at my house with the whole segment on girl-butt in general. No super-farting, indeed.
You have managed yet again to capture the characters in a totally believable and real way. Very enjoyable.
JBCaine-
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, JB. I was so disappointed the first time I felt girl-dungaree. What's the big deal? Panties, on the other hand.
Thanks, my friend. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from boxergirl
Great story of a young boy's initiation into puberty. The post office game was played by many in the past. I am afraid to know what games they play today.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Great story of a young boy's initiation into puberty. The post office game was played by many in the past. I am afraid to know what games they play today.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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You have a good point, boxergirl. Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Craigitar
Good one, HW! This reminds me how happy I am to have left all that nonsense far in the past. Couple of oopsies: " Can't wait (to) tell her..." and, "...bragging on you like your (you're) Frankie...". Great humor as usual.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Good one, HW! This reminds me how happy I am to have left all that nonsense far in the past. Couple of oopsies: " Can't wait (to) tell her..." and, "...bragging on you like your (you're) Frankie...". Great humor as usual.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thanks a lot, Craigitar. I appreciate the spag alerts. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
ROFL! This brings back so many memories. I remember my first kiss was at one of those 6th grade parties... kid named Ronnie in some equally stupid game. What fun we had then, despite the insecurities.
This is, as usual, expertly written... puts the reader back in the past with these kids. No one pulls in a reader like you. :)
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014
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ROFL! This brings back so many memories. I remember my first kiss was at one of those 6th grade parties... kid named Ronnie in some equally stupid game. What fun we had then, despite the insecurities.
This is, as usual, expertly written... puts the reader back in the past with these kids. No one pulls in a reader like you. :)
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014
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Thank so much, Phyllis. I think 6th grade was a turning point for many of us. Innocent, but curious. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from royowen
This was hilarious Lee, I remember my junior " mature " years well, by was I naive! I grew up in the fifties when naïveté was king, when you kissed a girl, of course, you needed to marry her, with much theory about how babies are produced! I loved your production of life of sub pubescent youth Lee, it was well written, perceptive, Gerald being a " chick magnet" what a confused boy he was! Absorbing, I couldn't detect and errors, I enjoyed it. Blessings, Roy.
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This was hilarious Lee, I remember my junior " mature " years well, by was I naive! I grew up in the fifties when naïveté was king, when you kissed a girl, of course, you needed to marry her, with much theory about how babies are produced! I loved your production of life of sub pubescent youth Lee, it was well written, perceptive, Gerald being a " chick magnet" what a confused boy he was! Absorbing, I couldn't detect and errors, I enjoyed it. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from Sasha
I just loved this. Took me back a few years to a couple of fond memories. Thanks. You have no idea how long I have tried to figure out how to spell heebie-jeebies...I always made it one word...lol
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
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I just loved this. Took me back a few years to a couple of fond memories. Thanks. You have no idea how long I have tried to figure out how to spell heebie-jeebies...I always made it one word...lol
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Sasha. Sorry this late. Been under the weather. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
