Harrison Harrington Smythson
a story poem for children150 total reviews
Comment from Deborah Marie
Beautiful poem and photo. Your story poem is told is wonderful. Eye catching title. Flows beautifully. Loved it! God Bless, Deb
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Beautiful poem and photo. Your story poem is told is wonderful. Eye catching title. Flows beautifully. Loved it! God Bless, Deb
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thanks so very much, Deb :-) Brooke
Comment from kwyattman
In line 6 the "son soon would be" sounds like you're trying to force the rhyme. Try "young son would be" or just switch it up with "son would soon be" - seems to be a little smoother.
In line 10 if you change "is" to "was", I keeps your tense more consistent.
Great poem. Cute as a button. Nothing funner than little guys with big names and bigger ideas.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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In line 6 the "son soon would be" sounds like you're trying to force the rhyme. Try "young son would be" or just switch it up with "son would soon be" - seems to be a little smoother.
In line 10 if you change "is" to "was", I keeps your tense more consistent.
Great poem. Cute as a button. Nothing funner than little guys with big names and bigger ideas.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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thank you for your thoughtful feedback, kwyattman Brooke
Comment from Razz
So fantastic, Brooke.
Photo is so amazingly perfect.
A master piece.
So full of movement of curiosity.
Imagery is awesome.
Sawyer is so full of wonder.
This is a tough place to be...contest.
Tied so far with Maureen .
Have a blessed day, Brooke.
Razz
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2014
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So fantastic, Brooke.
Photo is so amazingly perfect.
A master piece.
So full of movement of curiosity.
Imagery is awesome.
Sawyer is so full of wonder.
This is a tough place to be...contest.
Tied so far with Maureen .
Have a blessed day, Brooke.
Razz
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Razz. I truly appreciate your generous six stars and kind support :-) Brooke
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You're most welcome.
Razz
Comment from marion
Well, well, well ... this is my favourite (or yours) of all time (children's section of course!) I just checked out Poem of the Month. I'd have been disappointed had a read this earlier and not found it in the line-up. This deserves a twelve ... and gets my vote. Surely we'll see it in top place (?) once I hit the button! Congratulations ... a fantastic piece of writing. (And it would make a delightful children's picture book). Marion.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Well, well, well ... this is my favourite (or yours) of all time (children's section of course!) I just checked out Poem of the Month. I'd have been disappointed had a read this earlier and not found it in the line-up. This deserves a twelve ... and gets my vote. Surely we'll see it in top place (?) once I hit the button! Congratulations ... a fantastic piece of writing. (And it would make a delightful children's picture book). Marion.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Marion, I thank you so much for your encouragement and your kind contest support as well as for your generous rating :-) Brooke
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Great .. I noticed after my vote you went up to 9 - one ahead, and leading. Let's hope this trend continues. There's some stiff competition, but my fingers are crossed for you. M.
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hello Brooke,
Wow, what a great story in a poem. I enjoyed every line!
I was raised in the forest and always wanted to try my hand at commercial fishing. My brother-in-law and I set out researching the possibilities of getting our own boat. As we searched every harbor up and down the west coast, that old saying kept popping up from experienced captains... "better to be on shore wishing you were at sea, than to be at sea wishing you were on shore", lol. We finally gave up on the idea, and I decided to settle in a place in which I was more familiar...the forest! Both of my boys ended up becoming commercial fishermen in Alaska, (yep, the deadliest catch!) My wife and I were so happy when they finally quit and moved back closer to home. Which is why I relate to this tale of a boy who desired change, but discovered where his heart truly lay. You expressed the idea with wonderful rhyme and meter...it was a pleasure to read.
Another great story for Sawyers album...best wishes, Bill
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Hello Brooke,
Wow, what a great story in a poem. I enjoyed every line!
I was raised in the forest and always wanted to try my hand at commercial fishing. My brother-in-law and I set out researching the possibilities of getting our own boat. As we searched every harbor up and down the west coast, that old saying kept popping up from experienced captains... "better to be on shore wishing you were at sea, than to be at sea wishing you were on shore", lol. We finally gave up on the idea, and I decided to settle in a place in which I was more familiar...the forest! Both of my boys ended up becoming commercial fishermen in Alaska, (yep, the deadliest catch!) My wife and I were so happy when they finally quit and moved back closer to home. Which is why I relate to this tale of a boy who desired change, but discovered where his heart truly lay. You expressed the idea with wonderful rhyme and meter...it was a pleasure to read.
Another great story for Sawyers album...best wishes, Bill
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Bill, thank you so much for sharing that story of how this poem connects to your experience, and thank you so much for your generous review :-) Brooke
Comment from mermaids
This is a wonderful children's tale in poetic form. I can see this story in a book with illustrations. I love how the little boy follows his own path and finds a veggie eating dinosaur. This is a feel good poem for adults as well.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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This is a wonderful children's tale in poetic form. I can see this story in a book with illustrations. I love how the little boy follows his own path and finds a veggie eating dinosaur. This is a feel good poem for adults as well.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Elaine, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from JeanneHP
That delighted the heck out of the child in me, Brooke. How do you do it? I love good rhyming and your "Sawyer" poetry tickles me every time. I loved the whole story, especially the very imaginative name of Harrison Harrington Smythson. Perfect!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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That delighted the heck out of the child in me, Brooke. How do you do it? I love good rhyming and your "Sawyer" poetry tickles me every time. I loved the whole story, especially the very imaginative name of Harrison Harrington Smythson. Perfect!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Jeanne, thank you so much for your generous sixth star and supportive comments :-) Brooke
Comment from TamzinWhite
How gorgeous. I can see the entire book, page by page, enthralling young readers for decades to come.
You kept my interest from beginning to end, with a rumpy pump beat and humour and clever paired rhyming words, eg. 'his vision might stop' and 'triceratops'. Brilliant!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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How gorgeous. I can see the entire book, page by page, enthralling young readers for decades to come.
You kept my interest from beginning to end, with a rumpy pump beat and humour and clever paired rhyming words, eg. 'his vision might stop' and 'triceratops'. Brilliant!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Tamzin, thank you so much for your generous six stars and encouraging comments :-) Brooke
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Brooke,
Thoroughly enjyable little tale in a poem, Harrisn Harrington Smythson certainly seems to be an adventurous lad!
Patrick
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Hi Brooke,
Thoroughly enjyable little tale in a poem, Harrisn Harrington Smythson certainly seems to be an adventurous lad!
Patrick
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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I'm so glad you enjoyed this one, Patrick. Thanks so much for your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from OLA THOMAS
A well trimmed children story poem that inculcates many details that will steam up the interest of children in the story. Well done with fine strings of alliterations. Good rhyming scheme starting with 'abba' in the first stanza and veering to 'aabb' in subsequent verses. Love this.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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A well trimmed children story poem that inculcates many details that will steam up the interest of children in the story. Well done with fine strings of alliterations. Good rhyming scheme starting with 'abba' in the first stanza and veering to 'aabb' in subsequent verses. Love this.
ola thomas
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Ola, thank you so much :-) Brooke
