Harrison Harrington Smythson
a story poem for children150 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
No hesitation in hauling out the box of sixes for this delightful tale of the lad with the delightfully long name.
I really enjoyed the first section where you teased out masterfully the different inclinations of Harry and his father.
Some tricky monorhymed stanzas scattered in there, but the whole thing shows a great touch with rhyme and meter and a happy ending to boot.
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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No hesitation in hauling out the box of sixes for this delightful tale of the lad with the delightfully long name.
I really enjoyed the first section where you teased out masterfully the different inclinations of Harry and his father.
Some tricky monorhymed stanzas scattered in there, but the whole thing shows a great touch with rhyme and meter and a happy ending to boot.
Steve
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Steve, thank you so very much, my friend. So glad you enjoyed. I appreciate the generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from Gargantuan2
Dinosaurs in a zoo, this is a wonder by itself, but the poem is even better. I love the tales you tell and with the rhyming you do it so well... hmm, that rhymed too :)
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Dinosaurs in a zoo, this is a wonder by itself, but the poem is even better. I love the tales you tell and with the rhyming you do it so well... hmm, that rhymed too :)
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Gargantuan, thank you so very much for your generous response to this poem. What, your zoo has no dinos? LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ha ha, looks like Sawyer brought along his sippie-cup just in case he happened to get lost in the land of the Dinosaurs and needed a bit of refreshment.
A cute little epic about little boy whose love for the forest got him into a bit of a jam after running away from home. Or perhaps, his love for the forest was so great he simply dreamed it all, based on the ending.
Whichever the case may be, the rhyming, flow and meter were impeccably done, and the were several great examples of alliteration dispersed throughout the poem. One that stood out for me was the very last line of the sixth stanza, "...how Harrison happened on such a wrong turn."
The entire poem was a delight to read, Brooke, from the first line until the last.
Wonderfully done!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Ha ha, looks like Sawyer brought along his sippie-cup just in case he happened to get lost in the land of the Dinosaurs and needed a bit of refreshment.
A cute little epic about little boy whose love for the forest got him into a bit of a jam after running away from home. Or perhaps, his love for the forest was so great he simply dreamed it all, based on the ending.
Whichever the case may be, the rhyming, flow and meter were impeccably done, and the were several great examples of alliteration dispersed throughout the poem. One that stood out for me was the very last line of the sixth stanza, "...how Harrison happened on such a wrong turn."
The entire poem was a delight to read, Brooke, from the first line until the last.
Wonderfully done!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Dean, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem. Sawyer is a walking advertisement for sippy cups. He carries one around almost as much as he carries around his beloved set of keys. :-) Brooke
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You're very welcome, Brooke. This was very cute. :)
Comment from alphonsus murgatroyd
What a gorgeous piece. Reminiscent of 'Where the Wild Things Are' but with its own particular magic.
The story content lends itself well to the four line verse structure, as the sing-song quality of it appeals to children. (Think A. A. Milne!) The other appealing thing is the satisfying conclusion - an adventure in an unfamiliar environment turns out alright in the end, so young readers can feel confident and unafraid.
Lovely work enhanced by a wonderful photograph.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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What a gorgeous piece. Reminiscent of 'Where the Wild Things Are' but with its own particular magic.
The story content lends itself well to the four line verse structure, as the sing-song quality of it appeals to children. (Think A. A. Milne!) The other appealing thing is the satisfying conclusion - an adventure in an unfamiliar environment turns out alright in the end, so young readers can feel confident and unafraid.
Lovely work enhanced by a wonderful photograph.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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alphonsus, thank you so very much :-) I appreciate your thoughtful comments and generous sixth star. Brooke
Comment from tdragonfly
Cute picture of your Grandson and perfect for the poem. He is so lucky to have a Grandmoma to write such great stories for him. I found the poem quite entertaining and well written. I liked the rhythm and easy to read. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Cute picture of your Grandson and perfect for the poem. He is so lucky to have a Grandmoma to write such great stories for him. I found the poem quite entertaining and well written. I liked the rhythm and easy to read. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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tdragonfly, thank you so very much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
Such an enjoyable and fun story poem, Brooke. Kids sure love dinosaurs, so your poem should be a huge hit. I remember from when my kids were small that Tyrannosaurus Rex is abbreviated as T. Rex.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Such an enjoyable and fun story poem, Brooke. Kids sure love dinosaurs, so your poem should be a huge hit. I remember from when my kids were small that Tyrannosaurus Rex is abbreviated as T. Rex.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Karyn, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from rama devi
Wonderful work, dear B. I love the rhyme scheme of alternating patterns in the stanzas. Superb bouncy musical beat and semi-flawless meter (note one suggestion below). Also, great rhymes and fine alliteration and consonance, etc.! Sounds super read aloud.
I especially liked the rhymes and abundance of S sounds in this stanza:
But wrong turn it was, leading straight to the past,
not just far away from the ocean so vast.
It led to a forest where he was aghast
to find giant creatures of size unsurpassed!
*
He let out a yelp, it let out a roar --
Feels like this line: is missing a beat. Read aloud, one can make a 'rest' there, but I suggestion:
He let out a yelp, and it let out a roar --
One more suggestion:
but(,) being polite, Harry gave it a nod,
What a great name! Nicely alliterated too
The story line is easy to follow, cleverly conveyed and with a great conclusion (reminds me of the wizard of Oz).
Bravo
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Wonderful work, dear B. I love the rhyme scheme of alternating patterns in the stanzas. Superb bouncy musical beat and semi-flawless meter (note one suggestion below). Also, great rhymes and fine alliteration and consonance, etc.! Sounds super read aloud.
I especially liked the rhymes and abundance of S sounds in this stanza:
But wrong turn it was, leading straight to the past,
not just far away from the ocean so vast.
It led to a forest where he was aghast
to find giant creatures of size unsurpassed!
*
He let out a yelp, it let out a roar --
Feels like this line: is missing a beat. Read aloud, one can make a 'rest' there, but I suggestion:
He let out a yelp, and it let out a roar --
One more suggestion:
but(,) being polite, Harry gave it a nod,
What a great name! Nicely alliterated too
The story line is easy to follow, cleverly conveyed and with a great conclusion (reminds me of the wizard of Oz).
Bravo
Love,
rd
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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rama devi, thank you for your thoughtful feedback. I think the comma before being polite is a good idea. The other line was meant to have that pause. :-) Brooke
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:-))))
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of work. We all want to explore, but sometimes we stretch a little bit too far and get out of our depth.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of work. We all want to explore, but sometimes we stretch a little bit too far and get out of our depth.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Tomes, thank you for your insightful comments :-) Brooke
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My pleasure
Comment from CR Delport
When I saw the title I knew it was going to be a cute poem about the Cute Little One, and I was right :) This is very well written.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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When I saw the title I knew it was going to be a cute poem about the Cute Little One, and I was right :) This is very well written.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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CR, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from w.j.debi
Now that was a wrong turn--into the prehistoric past no less. What a marvelous story poem. It flows in a logical manner and would be so fun to read to children. Harrison is going to forge his own path in life and in his own way. Excellent message. I love the picture. The solid rhyming makes it even more adorable and a joy to read over again.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Now that was a wrong turn--into the prehistoric past no less. What a marvelous story poem. It flows in a logical manner and would be so fun to read to children. Harrison is going to forge his own path in life and in his own way. Excellent message. I love the picture. The solid rhyming makes it even more adorable and a joy to read over again.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
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Debi, thank you so very much for your generous and gracious review :-) Brooke
