She's Missing
When someone disappears...and no one knows31 total reviews
Comment from Jackarrie
Hi Loanna, this is a powerful write, highlighting the unfortunate situations our young people find themselves in. WE can never say why, or how, but they do need any help we can give.
Your poem is written with a great sense of empathy.
Well done
Mary
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Hi Loanna, this is a powerful write, highlighting the unfortunate situations our young people find themselves in. WE can never say why, or how, but they do need any help we can give.
Your poem is written with a great sense of empathy.
Well done
Mary
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from brentman99
A nice poem with a haunting picture. You've captured a striking feature of society - in that we can walk past homeless people without ever considering the story behind them and how they got there. Interesting and tragic at the same time.
Thanks for making me think, Brent.
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A nice poem with a haunting picture. You've captured a striking feature of society - in that we can walk past homeless people without ever considering the story behind them and how they got there. Interesting and tragic at the same time.
Thanks for making me think, Brent.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi LoannaLois - Very well written poem in good abcb rhyme. A poem about a common subject in today's world. You picked a good picture - of how she would look now after being hooked on drugs. So many people around with this problem and you have given a good description of just one of them. Good read of a poem that rhymed and flowed well. Kind regards Dorothy x
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Hi LoannaLois - Very well written poem in good abcb rhyme. A poem about a common subject in today's world. You picked a good picture - of how she would look now after being hooked on drugs. So many people around with this problem and you have given a good description of just one of them. Good read of a poem that rhymed and flowed well. Kind regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from krys123
LoannaLois;
A marvelously well composed and resilient piece of writing that is sorry to say sad but fittingly real of this time and in this era. There are many homeless girls out there just doing tricks are laying on their backs for the next fix that they desire.
The imagery you created in this writing is very descriptive and eloquently expressive throughout: "once blinding clear blue-eyed, she needs now base and drags." A sorry sight for once a very beautiful girl.
Your rhyming was done very well and neither of your rhyming was forced nor labored and your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your writing and your rhyming helped with the rhythmic flow.
Thank you for such a lovely piece of poetry and for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the Lord be with you always have a nice Labor Day.
Alex
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LoannaLois;
A marvelously well composed and resilient piece of writing that is sorry to say sad but fittingly real of this time and in this era. There are many homeless girls out there just doing tricks are laying on their backs for the next fix that they desire.
The imagery you created in this writing is very descriptive and eloquently expressive throughout: "once blinding clear blue-eyed, she needs now base and drags." A sorry sight for once a very beautiful girl.
Your rhyming was done very well and neither of your rhyming was forced nor labored and your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your writing and your rhyming helped with the rhythmic flow.
Thank you for such a lovely piece of poetry and for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the Lord be with you always have a nice Labor Day.
Alex
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from DerivedBetter
Wow. This was a very sad and bitter poem. You've done well capturing this very real problem in our society. Thank you for sharing this and definitely keep on writing.
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Wow. This was a very sad and bitter poem. You've done well capturing this very real problem in our society. Thank you for sharing this and definitely keep on writing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from JeffreyVPerry
I think this is a strong genuine empathetic poem about a subject that we all need to continue to write about and discuss. It is a shame that we can just turn our heads away from those in distress as if we cannot see them or we are just too afraid to ask. Great piece!
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I think this is a strong genuine empathetic poem about a subject that we all need to continue to write about and discuss. It is a shame that we can just turn our heads away from those in distress as if we cannot see them or we are just too afraid to ask. Great piece!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from Chrisfiore
Greetings LL,
This is a very emotional poem. I think you captured the feeling one has from witnessing a person caught in a situation they have no control and no way out of. Sadly, there are so many cases of people left to wander without any sort of guidance or comfort. As your author notes state, it can be truly heartbreaking.
As a society we need to find a better way to help those persons in need of just the basics: food, clothing, shelter. A better world, a more passionate one, is what we all should strive towards.
My best to you, LoannaLois. ;) Chrisfiore
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Greetings LL,
This is a very emotional poem. I think you captured the feeling one has from witnessing a person caught in a situation they have no control and no way out of. Sadly, there are so many cases of people left to wander without any sort of guidance or comfort. As your author notes state, it can be truly heartbreaking.
As a society we need to find a better way to help those persons in need of just the basics: food, clothing, shelter. A better world, a more passionate one, is what we all should strive towards.
My best to you, LoannaLois. ;) Chrisfiore
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from mikemagine
Great poem about those who Drop Out..."If only that was all of her and she could choose like me." VERY well said. Addiction is so sneaky...Before too long it hooks people!
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
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Great poem about those who Drop Out..."If only that was all of her and she could choose like me." VERY well said. Addiction is so sneaky...Before too long it hooks people!
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from Eric1
Hi Jenny, this is a wonderfully written yet so sad poem about the abuse of drugs and it's effects, good rhyming and rhythm helps to get the message across, the fact that no one's searching for her says it all.
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Hi Jenny, this is a wonderfully written yet so sad poem about the abuse of drugs and it's effects, good rhyming and rhythm helps to get the message across, the fact that no one's searching for her says it all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
Comment from softtoysrule
I'm new to FanStory, but I've already seen some great stuff!
This poem is very effective - It conveys sadness, loneliness and loss very well.
Always write,
softtoysrule
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I'm new to FanStory, but I've already seen some great stuff!
This poem is very effective - It conveys sadness, loneliness and loss very well.
Always write,
softtoysrule
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
