She's Missing
When someone disappears...and no one knows31 total reviews
Comment from DSMalott
Very good.
The rhyming was strong but not over dramatic, which would be the temptation with such a serious subject.
The description of addition and the lonely life it produces is well presented.
Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014
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Very good.
The rhyming was strong but not over dramatic, which would be the temptation with such a serious subject.
The description of addition and the lonely life it produces is well presented.
Well done.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014
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Bless you and the comments made.
Comment from c_lucas
Children and teenagers who run away from home usually find another master. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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Children and teenagers who run away from home usually find another master. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from ravenblack
" when she left with nothing/ nothing remained to carry on" says it all. Nothing, no love or care as a starting point or foundation and there is nothing left to lose, just an endless quest to feed nothing on the path to oblivion. Powerful poem.
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" when she left with nothing/ nothing remained to carry on" says it all. Nothing, no love or care as a starting point or foundation and there is nothing left to lose, just an endless quest to feed nothing on the path to oblivion. Powerful poem.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from dennis0530
The title description bears a finality of the subject's fate.
The "if only" in the last two lines reflect a regretful state that came too late. There is a mood of sadness, loss and regret that pervades this writing.
There are too many "why's" at the start of an addiction. So insidious is this vice that by the time of realization, it is already too late. The two lines in the fourth stanza, state a fact. "No one cares you're gone" because the addict herself cannot say what her state is. Disorientation creeps in and no one knows if it is the family or the addict who have lost the other.
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The title description bears a finality of the subject's fate.
The "if only" in the last two lines reflect a regretful state that came too late. There is a mood of sadness, loss and regret that pervades this writing.
There are too many "why's" at the start of an addiction. So insidious is this vice that by the time of realization, it is already too late. The two lines in the fourth stanza, state a fact. "No one cares you're gone" because the addict herself cannot say what her state is. Disorientation creeps in and no one knows if it is the family or the addict who have lost the other.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from CR Delport
When someone disappears like that, there is no closure, because you never know for sure. It will always leave a hole. This is very well done.
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When someone disappears like that, there is no closure, because you never know for sure. It will always leave a hole. This is very well done.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from robbme
Thank you so much for providing the definition of B's and bags. Helped my understanding immensely.
Your rhyme scheme and rhythm brought this to life and it is sad to see or even imagine what these people could have or may have even been at one time in their lives. Addiction is a terrible thing that turns people into polar opposites of their former selves and destroys futures. The fact that when these people go missing no one cares is disgusting to me. Though they have their problems they are people too. Where is the humanity in people nowadays? I honestly hope that your work can get people to think the same.
Great write! Keep up the good work!
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Thank you so much for providing the definition of B's and bags. Helped my understanding immensely.
Your rhyme scheme and rhythm brought this to life and it is sad to see or even imagine what these people could have or may have even been at one time in their lives. Addiction is a terrible thing that turns people into polar opposites of their former selves and destroys futures. The fact that when these people go missing no one cares is disgusting to me. Though they have their problems they are people too. Where is the humanity in people nowadays? I honestly hope that your work can get people to think the same.
Great write! Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from Jean Lutz
Beautifully penned words pleading for eyes that see. If only the heart had eyes. I try to at least pause and pray when I hear of anyone gone missing.
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Beautifully penned words pleading for eyes that see. If only the heart had eyes. I try to at least pause and pray when I hear of anyone gone missing.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from onebrit
What a sad picture to accompany this story of addiction. Too many of our wonderful kids choose to go down this road for reasons known only to themselves. Nice use of rhyme, and very written
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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What a sad picture to accompany this story of addiction. Too many of our wonderful kids choose to go down this road for reasons known only to themselves. Nice use of rhyme, and very written
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014
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Thank you for the words and understanding.
Comment from GracieAnn
LL, this is full of engaging rhyme and meter with a message loud and clear of the way drugs rob a person of their health, relationships, and soul. What a horrible thief it is. Strong emotive words that are effective. :0 GracieAnn
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LL, this is full of engaging rhyme and meter with a message loud and clear of the way drugs rob a person of their health, relationships, and soul. What a horrible thief it is. Strong emotive words that are effective. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, loanna, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the hopelessness of the one that is not missed. I enjoyed reading this one...
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this is very well written, loanna, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the hopelessness of the one that is not missed. I enjoyed reading this one...
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
