Reviews from

The Heart of Poetry

Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Haiku (bulky bumblebees)"
'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway

13 total reviews 
Comment from Dean Kuch
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God's secret blueprint indeed, Mystery Poet. Those bulbous bugs look as if they could never get very high off of the ground, much less fly around the way they do. And they are pretty darn quick too!

Great work with this one, and nice alliteration in your first line.

Best of luck to you!

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    Thanks Dean for this great review. I didn't win but it was fun. :-) carolyn
reply by Dean Kuch on 01-Sep-2014
    You're very welcome, Carolyn. :)
Comment from rrabinow
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I like the line impossible flight design, as it creates a wonderful image in my mind as I read your poem. The syllable count is correct. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    Thanks rrabinow, I didn't win but it was fun to write. :-) Carolyn
Comment from dennis0530
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The body structure of bumblebees have long puzzled scientists. It was believed that its bulky body made flight impossible. Seemingly the wings should not be able to keep it airborne.

But miracle of God or nature's secret it is flying with agility. Now scientists are trying to copy this body design and create new flying machines based on this.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    That is absolutely right. Manny of our inventions and improvements on existing ones are a result of natural studies. It is amazing that so many refuse to give God the credit. :-) Carolyn
Comment from Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest

you follow the contest guidelines

your few words allow the reader to see and feel the blueprint of the bumblebee in God's eyes

good visual

cheers smoothiecool

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    Thanks smoothiecool, I always appreciate your comments and encouragement. I didn't win, but it was fun to write. :-) Carolyn
reply by Smoothiecool on 31-Aug-2014
    most welcome..SC

    I finally had a joint win on this one
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
    Congrats. :-)
Comment from l.raven
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Hi Carolyn, I am so glad I went back and read this ...as much as I am allergic to bees...they are a big part of natures chain for survival...love this...are they voting...let me go see...ya know I love ya...Love Linda xxoo luff

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    I didn't win, didn't even have time to vote for myself. LOL .But it was fun to write anyway. I know you tease me about always being on the go. I just attended my 50th high school reunion. What fun. We are on our way home, staying out tonight, Just because we weren't ready to go home yet. Love you. Too, and thanks so much. Hope you had a good holiday. :-) Carolyn
reply by l.raven on 31-Aug-2014
    LOL...just stay out...enjoy...my daughter just did her class reunion...pregnant...LOL...you have a wonderful holiday...and you are soooooo very welcome always Carolyn...loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee xxoo
Comment from TAB_that's me
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So many things in nature amaze me - hummingbirds and yes how bees can fly - God's design. Great entry for the contest. Good luck.
teresa

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    Thanks Teresa, I didn't win but I enjoyed writing it. :-) Carolyn
Comment from adewpearl
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Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
I like the alliteration and assonance in bulky bumblebees
I also like the observation
This does not read like two interconnected lines to me along with a third line - it sounds like three separate lines
Brooke

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
    Thanks Brooke, I didn't win but it was a nice thought to write, that, in the end, I guess, was the good part. I am glad you enjoyed it. :-) Carolyn
Comment from rjuselius
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"bulky bumblebees
impossible flight design
God's secret blueprint"
this is a fine piece of poetic art! i love the satori although i think it might be personified..but the poem is delightful:)
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Thanks so much for this great review of 'bulky bumblebees.' Glad you liked it. I think I will leave the last line as it is, as it sets the poem off, but I appreciate your pointing out that it might be considered personification.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
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Hi,

And those darn ole bumble bees to pack a wallop. My brother found out the hard way, and by more than one!

Nicely presented haiku. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Ouch, the picture was taken by my front steps. They are like gentle giants, never get riled. The Russian Blue sage attracts them. Honey bees don't seem to care for it.
    So glad you liked this one Jax.
Comment from kiwisteveh
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Your haiku reminds me a little of this which I wrote some time ago:
Scientists
(I don't know why)
all say that he
just should not fly.

Bumble Bee,
he likes to sing,
"Dem folks, dey don't know anything!"

Nice alliteration in line 1 and a great satori line as well - we will never understand all of nature's wonders.

Steve

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Thanks Steve, you are so right about the wonders of nature. So glad you liked this one. Aeronauticaly speaking, it is impossible for the bumblebee to fly, but hey, there goes another one. This picture is from my front porch. :-)