Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "All's Well That Ends Well"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
14 total reviews
Comment from ProjectBluebook
You must feel good to complete a novel. I wished I could finish. Lots of chapter s to come. One chapter ends and another begins? The triology, the history behind the Bard may be coming? Good ending chapter. You deserve a six for your hard work -- that went into writing this beast. real appreciation only comes after you have tried your hand at novels. Takes numerous man-hours to reap the same reward as a simple 5/7/5, which pays the same as a novel chapter. it's much quicker reading a poem than a chapter and reap the same reward. I do respect the time and effort put forth. Count your lucky charms. I must sign off... do loco
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You must feel good to complete a novel. I wished I could finish. Lots of chapter s to come. One chapter ends and another begins? The triology, the history behind the Bard may be coming? Good ending chapter. You deserve a six for your hard work -- that went into writing this beast. real appreciation only comes after you have tried your hand at novels. Takes numerous man-hours to reap the same reward as a simple 5/7/5, which pays the same as a novel chapter. it's much quicker reading a poem than a chapter and reap the same reward. I do respect the time and effort put forth. Count your lucky charms. I must sign off... do loco
Comment Written 31-Aug-2014
Comment from Darkhorse555
sorry mikey i am just totally way behind with everything my mind is all over the place really very beautifully penned piece of reading enjoyed the read old pal
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sorry mikey i am just totally way behind with everything my mind is all over the place really very beautifully penned piece of reading enjoyed the read old pal
Comment Written 30-Aug-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Congrats on finishing this, Mikey. I didn't read much of it, but it seems like an entertaining story. On the grammar side, it looks like you're stuck on some bad habits.
The kids all jumped up and on Lucy finding her harder than they expected to take down. -- Awkward wording, especially for an opener. Consider revising.
Harpster, several FBI agents along with a good number of United States Marines came upon that scene. -- There are two ways to fix this. The easiest way is to replace the comma with 'and'
Petticoat was speechless. -- Some people don't mind telling, but it definitely slows the pace for the reader.
"Oh Daddy! -- Comma after 'Oh'
She put her arms around the two girls, -- Period. Then start dialogue with capital letter.
Lucy laughed, -- Period.
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Congrats on finishing this, Mikey. I didn't read much of it, but it seems like an entertaining story. On the grammar side, it looks like you're stuck on some bad habits.
The kids all jumped up and on Lucy finding her harder than they expected to take down. -- Awkward wording, especially for an opener. Consider revising.
Harpster, several FBI agents along with a good number of United States Marines came upon that scene. -- There are two ways to fix this. The easiest way is to replace the comma with 'and'
Petticoat was speechless. -- Some people don't mind telling, but it definitely slows the pace for the reader.
"Oh Daddy! -- Comma after 'Oh'
She put her arms around the two girls, -- Period. Then start dialogue with capital letter.
Lucy laughed, -- Period.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from l.raven
Bravo...Bravo...take a bow...you did a wonderful job on this book Michael...it was so fun to read...and I for one had a great time...will be looking for the return of Bard....love it...so now Lucy and him can marry...and make little Bards....and Bardettes...LOL...a wonderful write...luff Linda xxoo
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Bravo...Bravo...take a bow...you did a wonderful job on this book Michael...it was so fun to read...and I for one had a great time...will be looking for the return of Bard....love it...so now Lucy and him can marry...and make little Bards....and Bardettes...LOL...a wonderful write...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I decided to read and review this because I wanted to see how you end it. I thought the first half was way too pedantic, which is so not like you (this happened, then that happened, etc.) The second half of the ending was, frankly, anticlimactic, at least for me. BUT - I am so encouraged that you have an idea to start a story that centers on the Bard. I know that, at least for me, I often have to write a bunch of stuff I later think is crap just to get to that nugget that wants to be a poem or a story. I think that might be the case here, too. Your poetry is just beyond amazing, I think. The character of the Bard is unique, fascinating, and he speaks in a voice that is both true to his apparent diagnosis and also, somehow, your own quirky voice and sense of humor as well. I think this story is the vehicle that will lead you to tell his story, and that will be nothing less than stunning.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I decided to read and review this because I wanted to see how you end it. I thought the first half was way too pedantic, which is so not like you (this happened, then that happened, etc.) The second half of the ending was, frankly, anticlimactic, at least for me. BUT - I am so encouraged that you have an idea to start a story that centers on the Bard. I know that, at least for me, I often have to write a bunch of stuff I later think is crap just to get to that nugget that wants to be a poem or a story. I think that might be the case here, too. Your poetry is just beyond amazing, I think. The character of the Bard is unique, fascinating, and he speaks in a voice that is both true to his apparent diagnosis and also, somehow, your own quirky voice and sense of humor as well. I think this story is the vehicle that will lead you to tell his story, and that will be nothing less than stunning.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from Loren (7)
After 46 chapters (you've great tenacity) I can understand wanting to bring this to a conclusion. I thought you did a grand job with the "eight floor..." but the preceding 3 seemed more like summaries - missing some of your great dialogue. That being said, congratulations on a job well done. The Bard is an endearing character. Loren
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After 46 chapters (you've great tenacity) I can understand wanting to bring this to a conclusion. I thought you did a grand job with the "eight floor..." but the preceding 3 seemed more like summaries - missing some of your great dialogue. That being said, congratulations on a job well done. The Bard is an endearing character. Loren
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Wow, your marathon story has come to an end, what a lot of work, but I am sure you enjoyed it writing it. I hope you are going to get it published at some point. You are a great writer, your strong points being the wit, the characters, dialogue and of course the plot. Most enjoyable. Faye
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Wow, your marathon story has come to an end, what a lot of work, but I am sure you enjoyed it writing it. I hope you are going to get it published at some point. You are a great writer, your strong points being the wit, the characters, dialogue and of course the plot. Most enjoyable. Faye
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I will love to hear more about the Bard. I am glad Lucy loves him. I love him too. The children are going to be okay. I am glad Angela will have her two best friends. They will recover quickly. Great work.
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I will love to hear more about the Bard. I am glad Lucy loves him. I love him too. The children are going to be okay. I am glad Angela will have her two best friends. They will recover quickly. Great work.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
CongratulAtions. A perfect ending. I love the idea of a prequel. I do like the characters the Bard is with now, but it would be fun to see him with a new cast and crew. He is the star and I would like to know more about him. A job well done here, NG
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CongratulAtions. A perfect ending. I love the idea of a prequel. I do like the characters the Bard is with now, but it would be fun to see him with a new cast and crew. He is the star and I would like to know more about him. A job well done here, NG
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
Comment from Sankey
Had to do this mate. Been a great ride. Some roller coaster stuff but good. Thanks again. Look forward to whatever you have for us down the road.
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Had to do this mate. Been a great ride. Some roller coaster stuff but good. Thanks again. Look forward to whatever you have for us down the road.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
