Comment from Julia.

Excellent

This is so cute! I can definitely see this appealing to children, with it's fun whimsy. In particular, I like "Sunshine and I had the world to ourselves, / moon tucked away on the highest of shelves." The choice of an anapestic meter works well with the fun and light-hearted nature of the poem.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Julia, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

I enjoyed your DAdumdum meter and rhyming couplets of your poem, Brooke. I envision you playing with your little sunshine and then both collapsing after a day of exploring and adventure.
Smiles,
Karyn : )

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Karyn, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from madhatter1977

Excellent

This is wonderful, Brooke, the sun and the moon so symbolic and beautifully rendered in your imagery! I really like it, especially with the unusual meter. Best wishes and a happy weekend, Pete :)

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Pete, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from OLA THOMAS

Excellent

A very sweetly written children poem that really dug into the minds of children to bring out their innocent musings. I love the communicative/dialogue form of this poem Nicely rendered.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Ola, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Another charming children's poem with
wonderful imagery.
I love the personification of sun, moon and stars
as they play, get tired and go to bed.
Great AABB rhyming. Nancy

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Nancy, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from skye

Excellent

Very beautiful rhymes captured the joy of sunshine and playing outside while the moon sleeps off its weariness.
Excellent smooth form, beautiful art choice, wonderful imagery.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Skye, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

A fun little poem of the imagination with a strong contrast between night and day.

Not as rhythmically perfect as most of yours, perhaps. Line 2 tripped me until I taught myself to hit the first word with a stress and the end of 'moon plays by night' line didn't seem to work either...

Perhaps 'every' instead of 'each' in line 9 which seems a syllable short...

Steve

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thank you, Steve, for your thoughtful feedback :-) Brooke

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi Brooke,

Goodness, Sawyer looks so grown up in this pix. He looks like quite the little man strutting his stuff.

Enjoyed the poem about the fun playing in the sunshine til the moonbeams come back - only to do it all again the next day.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

thank you so much, Jax - I know he is getting so old so fast, and when you hear him talk, he ages another couple of years because he speaks in ten word sentences. :-) Brooke

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

This is really a nice effort. It is thrilling to think of sunbeams and moonbeams as playful companions. Companions who can be put to bed or awakened at the proper times. Very clever gran'ma. By the way, what does Sawyer call you, if I may ask?

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, nomi. He calls me Grandma at my request since I only ever knew one grandparent, and I called him Grandpa :-) Brooke

Comment from thee-name

Excellent

Rhymes good. Peaceful poem.
WHEN WE GREW WARY, WE CREPT INTO BED
LEAVING THE MOONBEAMS TO PLAY INOUR STEAD.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

thee-name, thank you so much :-) Brooke

reply by thee-name on 30-Aug-2014

THANK YOU!