Comment from rrabinow

Excellent

I like the line sunshine and I had a play date today. Great use of description in your poem that created a beautiful image in my mind. I like the rhyme scheme that you used. Great job.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

rrabinow, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

This is such a joy to read -
light-hearted and sunny - the
words flowing beautifully and
a bonus of a lovely picture.

We've been to Banff.

Margaret

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

thank you so much, Margaret :-) So glad you enjoyed. Miranda is loving Banff. Today they return to California. Brooke

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Fabulous, Brooke. I like how you played the day vs night with the moon and the sun and how it related to Sawyer (all children actually). He just happened to be handy...

Nicely done, John

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

John, thank you so very much :-) Brooke

Comment from Jade Lawson

Excellent

Hi, Brooke. I love poems that involve nature, and really liked this one, how you creatively used the moon and the sun. I felt a bit of fantasy in it.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

Jade, thank you so very much :-) Brooke

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

I like how the moon and sun are two characters, opposite of each other. You have a steady beat here that makes this poem a great one for children to read out loud or read alternating the verses in unison.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

Thank you, Elaine, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Whimsical, with almost a nursery rhyme feel to it. Very nice, Brooke. I like the meter. The last two lines of each stanza kind of come in as an afterthought. A pleasure to read.

Lovely pic, too, of course! And I'm jealous. I love Banff.

Av

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014

Thanks so much, Av :-) Brooke

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

You are such a gifted poet. Does Sawyer appreciate the many many poems penned in his honor? Loved the line, "they were content when we tucked them in tight." Super job, as always!

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

Green Lake Girl, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Gargantuan2

Excellent

Looks like another great day in the sun. Your work does great justice to the depicted event. I still think your gift with words is immeasurable.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, Gargantuan :-) Brooke

Comment from RPSaxena

Excellent

Hello Brooke,
Nice piece of Children Poetry having lovely rhyming couplets!
Wording is simple and perfectly matching the theme.
Smooth musical flow with lively imagery.
The last stanza is particularly noteworthy.
Excellent!

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

RP, I appreciate your gracious review :-) Brooke

Comment from rhymelord

Excellent

Dear Brooke,
As usual a charming work, but it is not often (in fact never) that I have had cause to question your metre.
The lines seem to follow a metre of a strong syllable followed by three anapaests, except in the following lines, which I found somewhat off putting.

moon plays by night and sun during day.
Sun tossed his rays and I caught each one --

moon plays by night and THE sun during day.
Sun tossed his rays and I caught EVERY one --

Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014

thanks for the helpful feedback, Reg :-) Brooke