Sunshine and I
a children's poem in rhyming couplets151 total reviews
Comment from RYME4U
How wonderfully descriptive this is. I enjoy reading your work so much. The rhythm is bouncy and the rhymes are superb. Great job
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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How wonderfully descriptive this is. I enjoy reading your work so much. The rhythm is bouncy and the rhymes are superb. Great job
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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RYME4U, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
So, they made it to Banff - I hope Sawyer has seen some of the critters that live there in their natural habitat. Beautiful place - one can see just a touch of moraine in the water behind him.
A very nice series of Quatrains in AABB format. A strong rhythm and a sense of fun make this a solid poem to read aloud.
Rose.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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So, they made it to Banff - I hope Sawyer has seen some of the critters that live there in their natural habitat. Beautiful place - one can see just a touch of moraine in the water behind him.
A very nice series of Quatrains in AABB format. A strong rhythm and a sense of fun make this a solid poem to read aloud.
Rose.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Rose, thank you so much :-) Sawyer has had a ball with the critters - one of them is a golden mantle ground squirrel - looks a lot like a chipmunk, which he calls them. I have great videos of him trying to get them to play with him :-) At that age kids actually talk to animals and expect them to understand. LOL He is begging one of them to play with his daddy's keys with him. :-) He's also seen lots of elk. Brooke :-)
Comment from Cajungirl
Such a beautiful picture. Another exceptional poem, Brooke. I am hoping to play in the sunshine this final official weekend of summer.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Such a beautiful picture. Another exceptional poem, Brooke. I am hoping to play in the sunshine this final official weekend of summer.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Cajungirl, thank you so very much :-) I so appreciate your generosity. Brooke
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you are very welcome.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I noticed the meter was different on this poem. Very nice!
I liked the idea behind the sun and the moon having different play times and look at Sawyer just trucking right along the beach. How sweet it is! Good Job. Nancy
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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I noticed the meter was different on this poem. Very nice!
I liked the idea behind the sun and the moon having different play times and look at Sawyer just trucking right along the beach. How sweet it is! Good Job. Nancy
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Nancy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I like that rhythm for a change. Recently I read a poem with the opposite, dah dah DUM dah dah DUM, and it had a nice feel to it as well, but my current favorite meter is (Australian, I think) Dum dah dah dah DUM dah dah dah DUM... starting anywhere in that line.
This is a terrific line: Sun tossed his rays and I caught each one. Only the amazing Brooke could consistently come up with those gems! Too bad children of the world are being denied access to her awesome poetry... sighhh....
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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I like that rhythm for a change. Recently I read a poem with the opposite, dah dah DUM dah dah DUM, and it had a nice feel to it as well, but my current favorite meter is (Australian, I think) Dum dah dah dah DUM dah dah dah DUM... starting anywhere in that line.
This is a terrific line: Sun tossed his rays and I caught each one. Only the amazing Brooke could consistently come up with those gems! Too bad children of the world are being denied access to her awesome poetry... sighhh....
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, Phyllis :-) It is fun to play with meter, isn't it? :-) Brooke
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another delightful little poem that the author has created with this piece of work. I love the picture, and the poetry adds to this beautifully.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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This is yet another delightful little poem that the author has created with this piece of work. I love the picture, and the poetry adds to this beautifully.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Tomes, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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My pleasure
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I like this rhythm, it quite jaunty and the type to suit a child's poem. Mind you, it nice for us adults too! Your games with the sun are great, the sun throwing it's rays for Sawyer to catch. Tucking the moon up into it's bed is a lovely touch too. All in all, the photo of Sawyer strolling happily along the sea front catching sun rays, is really nice and a pleasure to read :) Sandra
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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I like this rhythm, it quite jaunty and the type to suit a child's poem. Mind you, it nice for us adults too! Your games with the sun are great, the sun throwing it's rays for Sawyer to catch. Tucking the moon up into it's bed is a lovely touch too. All in all, the photo of Sawyer strolling happily along the sea front catching sun rays, is really nice and a pleasure to read :) Sandra
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Thanks so much, Sandra :-) Brooke
Comment from royowen
I've written a lot of songs in 3/4 (waltz) or 6/8 time, it must be that I have written poems in the same meter! Nice poem, good kids poem, would mak a nice song in that time! Poetry is more rigid than music! I liked this one, I think I better get back to my music! You reminded me I miss it, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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I've written a lot of songs in 3/4 (waltz) or 6/8 time, it must be that I have written poems in the same meter! Nice poem, good kids poem, would mak a nice song in that time! Poetry is more rigid than music! I liked this one, I think I better get back to my music! You reminded me I miss it, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Roy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Deniz22
Wonderful as always...you are the standard for all things poetical here on FS. The imagery, the words, the picture all go together to make a poetical ray of sunshine. Bravo!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Wonderful as always...you are the standard for all things poetical here on FS. The imagery, the words, the picture all go together to make a poetical ray of sunshine. Bravo!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Dennis, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from TAB_that's me
I'm glad the sun came out to play with Sawyer while on vacation - I could use some sun rays too - it's raining here. Great poem as always Brooke with great aabb rhyme.
Teresa
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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I'm glad the sun came out to play with Sawyer while on vacation - I could use some sun rays too - it's raining here. Great poem as always Brooke with great aabb rhyme.
Teresa
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Teresa, thank you so much :-) Brooke
