Final Words of Life
My mom's final words82 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
It's well written. I can imagine how hard it must have been on the family members. One thing to look at: "17 years of marriage to her daughter" I don't think it's ever a good idea to begin a sentence with a numeral. I think it should be changed to "Seventeen . . ." This is a minor problem. Your story is great.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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It's well written. I can imagine how hard it must have been on the family members. One thing to look at: "17 years of marriage to her daughter" I don't think it's ever a good idea to begin a sentence with a numeral. I think it should be changed to "Seventeen . . ." This is a minor problem. Your story is great.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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I will go back and change that. Thanks for the wonderful review.
Comment from Acquired Taste
A truly emotional and personally sad story. I is a gift you were able to be with her. So often that is not the case. You will have these memories for a lifetime and be able to tell your child when she is ready to hear them.
The only nits I found were the numbers 18 & 17 should be spelled out. AT=/
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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A truly emotional and personally sad story. I is a gift you were able to be with her. So often that is not the case. You will have these memories for a lifetime and be able to tell your child when she is ready to hear them.
The only nits I found were the numbers 18 & 17 should be spelled out. AT=/
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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I will go back and change that, thanks for your wonderful review.
Comment from gypsycaravan
Written so beautifully and tenderly that I was crying throughout. You expressed the emotions well and the eloquent words of your mother must have made all of you very proud of her.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Written so beautifully and tenderly that I was crying throughout. You expressed the emotions well and the eloquent words of your mother must have made all of you very proud of her.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, you made my day. Many hugs.
Comment from trimple
Having now read all of the entries for this prompt. I believe that your well told real life story was the won I should vote for.
'She is a skeleton' Perhaps skeletal would be a more appropriate description? Sorry to pick-up on that, but for me anyway your lovely mum was not an actual skeleton but more as thin as one.
There is nobody like our mum's, and I felt that you really described the traumatic emotions we all feel when we have to say goodbye to them.
Great writing, and very very sad.
My condolences to you and yours
kindest regards
trimple
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Having now read all of the entries for this prompt. I believe that your well told real life story was the won I should vote for.
'She is a skeleton' Perhaps skeletal would be a more appropriate description? Sorry to pick-up on that, but for me anyway your lovely mum was not an actual skeleton but more as thin as one.
There is nobody like our mum's, and I felt that you really described the traumatic emotions we all feel when we have to say goodbye to them.
Great writing, and very very sad.
My condolences to you and yours
kindest regards
trimple
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thanks, I'm always thankful for honest feedback and corrections. It makes me a better writer. I appreciate the 6 stars. I feel honored. Thank you
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you're most welcome :)
Comment from deepwater
My mother had a thing about Rose gardens this reminded me of something she would say thanks for writing
My dad takes her hand and carries her to the ambulance bed. They wheel her out to her yard. I hear her final words. "The roses in our yard are beautiful. I love you all. Take care of this yard for me!" My dad reaches down and kisses her on the lips. "My beautiful Rose, I will take care of our Rose Garden!"
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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My mother had a thing about Rose gardens this reminded me of something she would say thanks for writing
My dad takes her hand and carries her to the ambulance bed. They wheel her out to her yard. I hear her final words. "The roses in our yard are beautiful. I love you all. Take care of this yard for me!" My dad reaches down and kisses her on the lips. "My beautiful Rose, I will take care of our Rose Garden!"
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Your 6 star review is more than appreciated. Many hugs. I'm honored and humbled.
Comment from Ekim777
A powerful piece, a confrontation with the reality of life and death. Some people have witnessed it, most haven't. We have a family of ordinary people bowed by the presence of death in their lives and everyone resorts to sentimentality. It's all they know because; "human kind cannot bear very much reality." The mother is the center of the piece and she cannot afford the luxury of sentimentality even she has to leave the world that she has created. It all culminates in the penultimate paragraph which is pure poetry. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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A powerful piece, a confrontation with the reality of life and death. Some people have witnessed it, most haven't. We have a family of ordinary people bowed by the presence of death in their lives and everyone resorts to sentimentality. It's all they know because; "human kind cannot bear very much reality." The mother is the center of the piece and she cannot afford the luxury of sentimentality even she has to leave the world that she has created. It all culminates in the penultimate paragraph which is pure poetry. -Ekim777
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your wonderful review, I'm humbled.
Comment from granny goes viral
Wow, powerfully lived, powerfully written. My observation of the story, not the writing, comes from my profession...how come mom, who appeared really lucid, went to the hospital to die? Just a question. I am a great supporter of hospice care. Just a question.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Wow, powerfully lived, powerfully written. My observation of the story, not the writing, comes from my profession...how come mom, who appeared really lucid, went to the hospital to die? Just a question. I am a great supporter of hospice care. Just a question.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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They needed to control her pain. They actually induced her in a coma when she arrived in the hospital and she lived another 7 days without any form of life support. It was very hard. My other story of this is, Reaching Out From Heaven and Invasion. If your interested. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I'm humbled by your reply.
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Oh, I understand. When was this if I might ask?
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15 years ago. August 3, 1999
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OK, that explains a lot to me. Now I understand the hospital choice. Thank you.
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What is your profession? If you don't mind me asking?
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Read my bio. I have been in most forms of social work/counseling/rehabilitation...from nursing homes to prisons. Involved with hospice, Aging In Place (now that I am in that group), and all sorts of "closure". Today, mom could have probably had pain control, and remained at home. She sounds like an awesome woman.
Comment from Eigle Rull
This well written piece is so sorrowful so sad. I've been there when my mom passed away. I remember the hurt. It was not an easy time. This piece really hits the high notes with the entire family being able to say good bye. It was excellent, my friend.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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This well written piece is so sorrowful so sad. I've been there when my mom passed away. I remember the hurt. It was not an easy time. This piece really hits the high notes with the entire family being able to say good bye. It was excellent, my friend.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your wonderful review, I'm humbled.
Comment from victor 66
I do like the concept of being able to say goodbye to loved ones. Over the years I've experienced being present at several deaths. There was not the opportunity for my loved ones to be able have this enviable parting. I definitely think you have followed the format of the prompt. Good luck.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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I do like the concept of being able to say goodbye to loved ones. Over the years I've experienced being present at several deaths. There was not the opportunity for my loved ones to be able have this enviable parting. I definitely think you have followed the format of the prompt. Good luck.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thank you, this is true. I appreciate your review. Hugs.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from adewpearl
cancer-suffering body - add hyphen
Everything that surrounds her, is - I would delete the comma
You get inside your mom's inner thoughts effectively and in a moving way
a touching moment as she addresses each loved one in an individual way
crys of love - cries
I will wait with mom and dad - Mom and Dad
Lying in her skeleton arms, I cry - add comma
This is such a moving scene - you have me crying my heart out here. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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cancer-suffering body - add hyphen
Everything that surrounds her, is - I would delete the comma
You get inside your mom's inner thoughts effectively and in a moving way
a touching moment as she addresses each loved one in an individual way
crys of love - cries
I will wait with mom and dad - Mom and Dad
Lying in her skeleton arms, I cry - add comma
This is such a moving scene - you have me crying my heart out here. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for the corrections. I'm humbled by your review.
