Final Words of Life
My mom's final words82 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
Oh, Bobby,
I thoufhr of my aging mother, and my throat constricted. Beautifully written - authentic - of course, if this s non-fiction.
Congratulations on your win, dear.
Have a blessed weekend.
Love,
Sonali
He has been in bondage to her since he was eighteen ... 'bondage' has negative implications. Suggest:
He has shared a bond with her since he was ...
She has been their solid rock (in) their marriage tribulations.
consoling me(,) (b)ut I put on a smiling face to satisfy
Finally, the little girl (inside me) falls into my mother's
we hear the (boys - no apostrophe) sigh a slight laughter through
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Oh, Bobby,
I thoufhr of my aging mother, and my throat constricted. Beautifully written - authentic - of course, if this s non-fiction.
Congratulations on your win, dear.
Have a blessed weekend.
Love,
Sonali
He has been in bondage to her since he was eighteen ... 'bondage' has negative implications. Suggest:
He has shared a bond with her since he was ...
She has been their solid rock (in) their marriage tribulations.
consoling me(,) (b)ut I put on a smiling face to satisfy
Finally, the little girl (inside me) falls into my mother's
we hear the (boys - no apostrophe) sigh a slight laughter through
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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I will go back for corrections. I appreciate the honesty. It makes me a better writer. I'm blessed by your review. Your words touched my heart.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is a very sad and emotional work. Hard to bid farewell to someone you have loved so much, too difficult to put your emotion under check. I love this with all the bit by bit details. Wonderful contest entry.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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This is a very sad and emotional work. Hard to bid farewell to someone you have loved so much, too difficult to put your emotion under check. I love this with all the bit by bit details. Wonderful contest entry.
ola thomas
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Thank you, your words have touched my heart. Many hugs.
Comment from mikemagine
Awesome! My eyes were prov. glued to the words...You show WELL how it's done!! I was THERE, speechless. All I could do was feel...You expertly cover all the bases of writing, far as I can see!
Great!!
Mike
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Awesome! My eyes were prov. glued to the words...You show WELL how it's done!! I was THERE, speechless. All I could do was feel...You expertly cover all the bases of writing, far as I can see!
Great!!
Mike
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Your comments are heart-touching. Many hugs and thanks for the review.
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Sure thing Bobby Jo!!
Comment from DALLAS01
This is absolutely heart wrenching on one hand, and spiritually enlightening on the other. It takes a person of great character, to be able to console those who will be left behind, in her own hour of departure. You told this with great depth and precision. should do very well in the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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This is absolutely heart wrenching on one hand, and spiritually enlightening on the other. It takes a person of great character, to be able to console those who will be left behind, in her own hour of departure. You told this with great depth and precision. should do very well in the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your wonderful review. Hugs.
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You're welcome
Comment from kukarad70
Dear Bobby Jo,
Congratulations! First of all to you winning the contest of Final Words. Actually, your created story is beautiful and heart-touching. You are all waiting to say final bye to your mom. Even your unborn child also wishing to say bye to the grandmother. And your mother's final words before stopping breathing are so wonderful.
"The roses in our yard are beautiful. I love you all. Take care of this yard for me!"
Her last wish, your husband said to her to fulfill for her. Very nice ending and writing.
But, I have found you have in my point of view, 2nd para 1st line, there should be 'on the Earth" instead of 'on earth'.
Thanks and regards. Kamal
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Dear Bobby Jo,
Congratulations! First of all to you winning the contest of Final Words. Actually, your created story is beautiful and heart-touching. You are all waiting to say final bye to your mom. Even your unborn child also wishing to say bye to the grandmother. And your mother's final words before stopping breathing are so wonderful.
"The roses in our yard are beautiful. I love you all. Take care of this yard for me!"
Her last wish, your husband said to her to fulfill for her. Very nice ending and writing.
But, I have found you have in my point of view, 2nd para 1st line, there should be 'on the Earth" instead of 'on earth'.
Thanks and regards. Kamal
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your heart-touching review. I will go back for corrections. You made my day. Hugs.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Bobby Jo,
Heartfelt. Contrats on the win!
Your story is beautiful. It really is a blessing to have those moments with loved ones. I didn't get either with my folks. However, we expected my dad's passing. My mom was sudden, so it's harder to let them go.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Hi Bobby Jo,
Heartfelt. Contrats on the win!
Your story is beautiful. It really is a blessing to have those moments with loved ones. I didn't get either with my folks. However, we expected my dad's passing. My mom was sudden, so it's harder to let them go.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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My dad's heart attack was sudden too. Like you, I experienced both. Thanks for stopping by and for the wonderful review.
Comment from Saucey
OMG, what a touching story, so compelling, I am still in tears after reading this remarkable, heartfelt gem, I love how descriptive and detailed you were, so moving, exceptional,
"Her family are her roses,
And she is their thorn"
The above statement tells it all, wow the father, your dad carrying her, mind blowing, love, real, I love that you were real. Contest Winner indeed. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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OMG, what a touching story, so compelling, I am still in tears after reading this remarkable, heartfelt gem, I love how descriptive and detailed you were, so moving, exceptional,
"Her family are her roses,
And she is their thorn"
The above statement tells it all, wow the father, your dad carrying her, mind blowing, love, real, I love that you were real. Contest Winner indeed. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Your six star rating was nice, but your comments blew me away. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs.
Comment from High Wire Girl
These memories will serve you well as your life continues. What a beautiful description of such an intimate time. Thank you.
On two grammatical suggestions, if you like:
- saying goodbye to the grandmother she'll never know.
- through heartbreaking cries of love.
I enjoyed this piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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These memories will serve you well as your life continues. What a beautiful description of such an intimate time. Thank you.
On two grammatical suggestions, if you like:
- saying goodbye to the grandmother she'll never know.
- through heartbreaking cries of love.
I enjoyed this piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Thanks and I will go back to correct. I appreciate your wonderful review.
Comment from amahra
Very beautiful, I was welling up in tears at the sign of the baby kicking. This was so beautiful. This is one of those times when only a true happening can beat a fiction. No fiction could have come close.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Very beautiful, I was welling up in tears at the sign of the baby kicking. This was so beautiful. This is one of those times when only a true happening can beat a fiction. No fiction could have come close.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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I have had great responses to my story. Thanks for your wonderful feedback and taking the time to read.
Comment from Jay Squires
A very touching account of one saying her last farewells to her family. This is good, though I'd have thought she'd be weaker than that. It seems it would b e more realistic if they came to her on the couch or in her bed while she waited for the ambulance.
Still, there's no taking away from the emotional response your post brings.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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A very touching account of one saying her last farewells to her family. This is good, though I'd have thought she'd be weaker than that. It seems it would b e more realistic if they came to her on the couch or in her bed while she waited for the ambulance.
Still, there's no taking away from the emotional response your post brings.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your comment. I love all comments of honesty. This is a true story of what my mother said before she was taken to the Hospital, 15 years ago. She actually was to sick to lay in a bed. It hurt to much to lay, so she felt more comfortable in her rocking chair. She had lost so much weight and seriously was weighing 60 pounds when she died. The day they took her to the hospital, they induced her in a coma. She laid in a coma for 7 days without life support before she died. This is a true account and those were her last words as she left her house for the very last time. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Many hugs and God Bless.
