Comment from Muffins

Excellent

The story leaps off the page before the first paragraph is read ,and keeps up this over the limit speed until the end.

An edgy, dark old fashioned 1940's type of thriller with a knock your socks off ending. Miss Elanor Weissman is a gal who will do anything for the family business. Thanks for writing a strong female character.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2014

It was my pleasure, Muffins. There are so few of them these days, it would seem.

I'm glad to know that the story entertained you. I appreciate your review.

Comment from daeneam

Excellent

I'm always overwhelmed whenever I read a winning piece from you, my friend! I couldn't stop myself from reading your works.

I am inspired to write when I found some helpful contest prompt and I considered this one and "Betrayal". I decided not to join because it's my same old style and I think it's not creative anymore. Your ideas are unique and very, very creative! It's beyond compare. c", Mae

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

If only more voter felt as you do, Mae, LOL. Shafted lost the contest to Michael Cahill's short work, and Too Late is losing now. But, it's still a long time to go before 2:00am Eastern daylight Time, and anything can happen.

Thanks so much for your complimentary and thoughtful review.

reply by daeneam on 27-Aug-2014

I think I have to take note when a contest end so I can cast my vote.

reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

I check the contests before I do anything else after I log on. To me, I feel it's important to support those who enter. I feel that strongly about it, but some rarely, if ever enter into or browse the contests at all. I've received poems with over 100 positive reviews, then lost a contest, on several occasions. It just seems not many put an emphasis on voting on them.

reply by daeneam on 27-Aug-2014

I think winners should be determined by the positive reviews not by votes.

I usually start reading all contribution from my inbox and oftentimes, I missed great works because i received no notification. I'll do the checking first before I do anything else, next time.

reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

That's what I do, but it is completely up to you, my friend. I wish more felt as you do. Maybe these contests wouldn't be so dramatically overlooked. I usually get three times the reviews once my name appears, and the blind is lifted, than I did during the entire time the contest was running. Odd, that...

reply by daeneam on 27-Aug-2014

Smile, your fans know you better! c", Mae

Comment from Linda England Bonam

Excellent

Very nice writing here. I am sure it will do well as a writing prompt entry. You seem to have a way with words and you don't skip a beat as the tale unfolds! Good luck with your entry!!!

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, Linda. It finished second, I think. I am really happy that you enjoyed it, however. Thanks for the very kind review.:}

Comment from L.M.Mullins

Excellent

Talk about a fall from grace. Great build up and nice twist at the end. I heard a long time ago to stay ways from women with sideburns they'll kill you, but I didn't know it was true.
LM

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Yep, and now you know, LM. You know what they say...Knowing is half the battle, LOL.

Thatnks for your review, my friend.:}

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi Dean Kuch,

Oh, nice twist there, killed by his own girlfriend. A lady it will pay not to cross obviously. Good luck with the competition.

Patrick

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Thanks, Patrick. You're right, i certainly wouldn't want to cross this hit-woman in training or her family, that's for certain.

As for the contest, I placed second to Michael Cahill's 500 word short. So, all in all, not too shabby.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I am really sorry I've no 6. This is a real twister, Dean, I just was not expecting it to be Eleanor, that was clever! And a good way to check our the boyfriend! I must remember that! Except I'm a bit passed it now. LOL. You have not let yourself down, Dean, it is brilliant. Actually, you could make it a lot longer once the contest is over, I would really enjoy that. Good luck with this masterpiece!! Sandra xsx

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

I just might do that, Sandra.

Thank you for the excellent feedback, and for taking the time to read & review it for me. Much obliged.:]

Comment from Titan Black

Excellent

I think you would be a master at
writing these type of thrillers.
You writing skill are crazy nice.
And you have many twist in it. And
that's what makes the reader keep
turning the page. No joke, I would
definitely want to read one of your
books as a whole. Keep writing.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Thanks, TB, that's very kind of you to say, my friend. I plan to keep writing, as long as I have breath, and the good Lord willing, of course.

All the best, TB, and thanks again!:}

Comment from DerivedBetter

Excellent

This was really good. I think you and I have similar writing styles. Crisp dialogue and nice twist at the end. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Thanks, DB. I appreciate you taking the time to read & review it for me. Much obliged.

Comment from Sean A. Chai

Excellent

Excellent job in such a short space. If you'd been allowed more words, you really could have drug out the claustrophobia. I'm sure the finance used it to her advantage. Being his fiance, she would know he was claustrophobic. Apparently he didn't know her half as well or he would know she was an assassin and smoked cigarettes and maybe a few other tells. Although, once more, being claustrophobic would have limited his focus.

The ending was a great surprise, though looking back at the title, you presented perfect foreshadowing. Wonderful writing. Congratulations on the five votes.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Thanks, Sean. I sincerely appreciate the feedback.:]

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I guess Elanor wasn't too keen on their engagement.It had its ups and downs. (Did I really go there? Oh, well...)
Great suspense. I never suspected the twist.
Awesome!!

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014

Ha ha, that was good, Ellen. And yes, you did go there, LMAO...

Thanks for the entertaining review my friend.