Corn Dodger -- 2 of 2
Gold in the snowy mountains.34 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
A very interesting ending, I see you left the door open to possibly continuing with the tale. You have enemies, allies, love, vengeance and greed. All the makings of a longer tale. Nicely done.
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A very interesting ending, I see you left the door open to possibly continuing with the tale. You have enemies, allies, love, vengeance and greed. All the makings of a longer tale. Nicely done.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from irishauthorme
Wow! Your Part One was good, but just set the stage for the action of Part Two! Great description of the high country, and here in Wide Open Wyoming, we have plenty of it. 9, 10,000 foot peaks, mostly rock and shale, and not much vegetation that high.
Trust old Three Knives to make sure Joe survived the weasel onslaught, so he could get rid of two of his hmm, 'broke in she-Injuns.
Good, solid ending, and a young, pretty squaw? Wow.
Move over, Joe!
Terrific, irish
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Wow! Your Part One was good, but just set the stage for the action of Part Two! Great description of the high country, and here in Wide Open Wyoming, we have plenty of it. 9, 10,000 foot peaks, mostly rock and shale, and not much vegetation that high.
Trust old Three Knives to make sure Joe survived the weasel onslaught, so he could get rid of two of his hmm, 'broke in she-Injuns.
Good, solid ending, and a young, pretty squaw? Wow.
Move over, Joe!
Terrific, irish
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
What an honest injun you are. If you can get away with it. Ha. Great story. Loved part one and part two. Write some more and let us know how he gets along with the "girls." Ha
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What an honest injun you are. If you can get away with it. Ha. Great story. Loved part one and part two. Write some more and let us know how he gets along with the "girls." Ha
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from Dawn Munro
"For several hours Joe pushed on(,) climbing..." << Oh no! Don't be offended, promise? (LOL) I always hesitate with certain writers to offer suggestions because they're such awesome writers, so talented, but here it is (gulp) - for the two sentences that starts that second paragraph, rather than have one end on a preposition, and the second one be fragmented, I'd make them into one sentence, with only a comma in between.
Now right or wrong it's offered with the best of intentions, yes? After all, you're payin' me! LOL
Great story! (and you don't need me to tell you why - just that I enjoyed it. *grin*)
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"For several hours Joe pushed on(,) climbing..." << Oh no! Don't be offended, promise? (LOL) I always hesitate with certain writers to offer suggestions because they're such awesome writers, so talented, but here it is (gulp) - for the two sentences that starts that second paragraph, rather than have one end on a preposition, and the second one be fragmented, I'd make them into one sentence, with only a comma in between.
Now right or wrong it's offered with the best of intentions, yes? After all, you're payin' me! LOL
Great story! (and you don't need me to tell you why - just that I enjoyed it. *grin*)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from Ric Myworld
Damned if you ain't come up with a great idea. We can have a swap meet for women. Every man gets three, and the when he is tired of 'um, or they start getting a little too mouthy, we just take them to the swap house and trade 'um in. Great job. :-)
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Damned if you ain't come up with a great idea. We can have a swap meet for women. Every man gets three, and the when he is tired of 'um, or they start getting a little too mouthy, we just take them to the swap house and trade 'um in. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from sibhus
Well, Piligram, this here a fine flutten piece of writing, it sure is. Oh, the glory days of the ole west were a woman was worth twenty bcuks, must have been a great life. Wonderful descriptions, I could smell the claim-jumpers shitting themselves. Better then Death Valley Days anytime there, Lee.
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Well, Piligram, this here a fine flutten piece of writing, it sure is. Oh, the glory days of the ole west were a woman was worth twenty bcuks, must have been a great life. Wonderful descriptions, I could smell the claim-jumpers shitting themselves. Better then Death Valley Days anytime there, Lee.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from Craigitar
Fun and engaging read, HW. Satisfying ending to a promising beginning. I was pleased that it all worked out for Corn. Good story tellin', Lee.
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Fun and engaging read, HW. Satisfying ending to a promising beginning. I was pleased that it all worked out for Corn. Good story tellin', Lee.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from c_lucas
Indian wimmen could warm a bed, but they were better when it came to torturing. Custer men found out the hard way. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
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Indian wimmen could warm a bed, but they were better when it came to torturing. Custer men found out the hard way. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Was I ever wrong! Shame on me for doubting Three Knives Catlaw. I love the way you ended it; it's as virgin as old westerns go. I can't part with another six, but these boys are deserving. Hope to see them again. Daisy Mae too. Kenny
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Was I ever wrong! Shame on me for doubting Three Knives Catlaw. I love the way you ended it; it's as virgin as old westerns go. I can't part with another six, but these boys are deserving. Hope to see them again. Daisy Mae too. Kenny
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from nor84
All stalk and no starch -- good one!
I'm sorry about your brother being dead, but I'll gladly kill him again he was to oblige me by sittin' up, and presentin' me a more likely target.">>>I think it has to stay past tense -- If he'd oblige me. Or, if you wan't I'll, then:
If he'll oblige me by sittin' up...
Enjoyed it. Great period dialogue.
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All stalk and no starch -- good one!
I'm sorry about your brother being dead, but I'll gladly kill him again he was to oblige me by sittin' up, and presentin' me a more likely target.">>>I think it has to stay past tense -- If he'd oblige me. Or, if you wan't I'll, then:
If he'll oblige me by sittin' up...
Enjoyed it. Great period dialogue.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
