Texas Dream Catcher
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "CHAPTER CINCO, PART UNO"Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?
48 total reviews
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Another full chapter..I do like the thread of Midnight. I am a horse lover. But this story is full of human life and relationships. I am getting more and more curious.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Hi. Another full chapter..I do like the thread of Midnight. I am a horse lover. But this story is full of human life and relationships. I am getting more and more curious.
padumachitta
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. Midnight's antics get him into trouble.
Comment from Jay Squires
John adjusted his leather vest. [If it's John speaking about the Brahman Bulls, you may want to lead with his vest adjustment. I thought it was Soni speaking, since Pedro had addressed her.]
Everyone raised their hand. [Everyone is singular. Requires HIS hand]
away from people.
" [I don't know how your quote mark dropped down to the next line, all alone.]
As Miguel eyes' met Soni's, [As MIGUEL'S EYES met Soni's]
Good chapter, Barbara.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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John adjusted his leather vest. [If it's John speaking about the Brahman Bulls, you may want to lead with his vest adjustment. I thought it was Soni speaking, since Pedro had addressed her.]
Everyone raised their hand. [Everyone is singular. Requires HIS hand]
away from people.
" [I don't know how your quote mark dropped down to the next line, all alone.]
As Miguel eyes' met Soni's, [As MIGUEL'S EYES met Soni's]
Good chapter, Barbara.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this helpful review. I have made the changes.
Comment from mumsyone
Good chapter, Barbara.
"Everyone in this room is in charge of one of the areas I've designated with a pin.(close space)"
"Each area has some kind of natural boundaries on two or three sides in (omit 'in') which you can herd the livestock into so they're protected.
Tatiana knocked on the door and cracked it open. (Better: opened it a crack)
Go help yourself to (omit 'to') some snacks.
If I knew, I'd share it." Soni turned and stared at the ranch map for a few moments,(no comma) before she faced the men.
Check this for clarity:
"We'll get to know we other slowly as we have been."
I just need time away from people.(close space)"
A few moments past (passed),(no comma) before Jim asked, "
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Good chapter, Barbara.
"Everyone in this room is in charge of one of the areas I've designated with a pin.(close space)"
"Each area has some kind of natural boundaries on two or three sides in (omit 'in') which you can herd the livestock into so they're protected.
Tatiana knocked on the door and cracked it open. (Better: opened it a crack)
Go help yourself to (omit 'to') some snacks.
If I knew, I'd share it." Soni turned and stared at the ranch map for a few moments,(no comma) before she faced the men.
Check this for clarity:
"We'll get to know we other slowly as we have been."
I just need time away from people.(close space)"
A few moments past (passed),(no comma) before Jim asked, "
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this helpful review. I've made the corrections.
Comment from c_lucas
Twenty four first graders cannot get into a such trouble as a lonely miniature dachshund. That aside; This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good job.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Twenty four first graders cannot get into a such trouble as a lonely miniature dachshund. That aside; This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good job.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this review. Oh so true. Harley's in time out as I write.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Ben Colder
Barbara, the plot is worthy and you are moving the story very well. Have reservations about a few things but for now I will keep them as wonder. Are you showing this tow the Mexican community> I notice your chapters are in their language. Shalom my author friend.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Barbara, the plot is worthy and you are moving the story very well. Have reservations about a few things but for now I will keep them as wonder. Are you showing this tow the Mexican community> I notice your chapters are in their language. Shalom my author friend.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. No, I've run out of ways to write my chapters as titles. FS won't accept the same Chapter one part two from my other books. Shoot, I may have to do in German.
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As long as it is your M/S/ and you are happy with it , who cares. It is an excellent story and you make it so real.
Comment from adewpearl
slumping shoulders, chuckling, smiling, making eye contact... - lots of good non-verbal communication going on
Good authentic-sounding dialogue as she lays out the plans
I like where the men offer her their vote of confidence :-)
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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slumping shoulders, chuckling, smiling, making eye contact... - lots of good non-verbal communication going on
Good authentic-sounding dialogue as she lays out the plans
I like where the men offer her their vote of confidence :-)
Brooke
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. Been working on different ways to say things.
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:-)
Comment from Tonulak
Hi Barbra,
I liked the details of the security meeting and the introduction of the potential romance at this juncture. I did see one spag;
"We'll get to know we other...", should be "each other". Very nice post. I've been out playing so much that I haven't been here reviewing so often. Keep up the good work--Ted
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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Hi Barbra,
I liked the details of the security meeting and the introduction of the potential romance at this juncture. I did see one spag;
"We'll get to know we other...", should be "each other". Very nice post. I've been out playing so much that I haven't been here reviewing so often. Keep up the good work--Ted
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this helpful review. I've made the changes.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, Barbara, I don't like Miguel either, so her grandfather is right in his thinking. he's too territorial and asks way too many questions. I like the ending where jim faces sonni down.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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this is very well written, Barbara, I don't like Miguel either, so her grandfather is right in his thinking. he's too territorial and asks way too many questions. I like the ending where jim faces sonni down.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this review.
