The Girl in the Diner
a narrative poem about lost love in WWII14 total reviews
Comment from amada
I like works inspired in paintings. it's delightful to read its different interpretations. I like your sad but eloquent rhyming lines and the bit of story that goes with it.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
  |
I like works inspired in paintings. it's delightful to read its different interpretations. I like your sad but eloquent rhyming lines and the bit of story that goes with it.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
-
Hopperr's paintings all seem to tell a story. I am very pleased you like this one, amada. I posted a prose story called "Night Hawks" (based on his famous painting) a while ago you might enjoy, too. Rod
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the story. There are still woman waiting for their husbands and boy friends to come home from war. Some don't wait. Some women move on. Some women do not get the man they sent off to war. Too many men come back changed. Our home life is one thing that changes. Great work. I loved the author notes. War can make love bite.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
I love the picture. I love the story. There are still woman waiting for their husbands and boy friends to come home from war. Some don't wait. Some women move on. Some women do not get the man they sent off to war. Too many men come back changed. Our home life is one thing that changes. Great work. I loved the author notes. War can make love bite.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
So pleased to share this with you and I enjoyed your comments.
Comment from adewpearl
good use of abcb rhyming
vivid descriptive detail of setting
a moving story of the experience so many soldiers'wives have while waiting for their men to return, wondering if they will be able to
The poignant ending blew me away
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
good use of abcb rhyming
vivid descriptive detail of setting
a moving story of the experience so many soldiers'wives have while waiting for their men to return, wondering if they will be able to
The poignant ending blew me away
Brooke
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I am delighted you enjoyed the story, especially the ending, Brooke. I don't write narrative poems often, but Hopper's paintings always inspire me to write something.
Comment from Judy Couch
Good poem. It rhymes well and I like its rhythm. It tells a sad story. Many of the guys didn't come home from those nasty wars.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
Good poem. It rhymes well and I like its rhythm. It tells a sad story. Many of the guys didn't come home from those nasty wars.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Thank you, Judy, for your very kind review. Yes, we don't think of young wives waiting for their husbands to come home from Afghanistan, but the story never really changes, does it?
Comment from Jay Leeward
A wonderfully evocative work, this worked for me on several levels. I have been drinking "Joe" all my life, and have a cup beside me now. I have owned both Zenith radios and TVs. It was a pleasure to see the old steam radiator in Hopper's painting.
The young lady knows "love's bite" as she worries over her young Marine somewhere in the South Pacific. The hope and loyalty of "perhaps a letter there" is a poignant note.
I don't know if you put it there, or inspired me to find it in myself. However, the tinge of old bitterness, nearly gone, but not forgotten, of the final two lines make work something I won't forget.
Thank you.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
A wonderfully evocative work, this worked for me on several levels. I have been drinking "Joe" all my life, and have a cup beside me now. I have owned both Zenith radios and TVs. It was a pleasure to see the old steam radiator in Hopper's painting.
The young lady knows "love's bite" as she worries over her young Marine somewhere in the South Pacific. The hope and loyalty of "perhaps a letter there" is a poignant note.
I don't know if you put it there, or inspired me to find it in myself. However, the tinge of old bitterness, nearly gone, but not forgotten, of the final two lines make work something I won't forget.
Thank you.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Jay, i can't tell you how much I appreciate this wonderful, sensitive review. It really heartens me to keep on writing these narrative poems when readers like you find so much in them they can relate to. Thank you so much for sharing.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very well done, Mystery Poet. A sad tale, that's true, but one far too common during times of war, I'm afraid. Bad enough that men (and women too nowadays) have to go off to a foreign land far, far away and fight a determined and unyielding enemy, only to find that once they return home from whatever campaign they were involved in that the one thing the most most in all the world besides God and country had forsaken and forgotten them.
Excellent work. I wish you all the best in the contest. You certainly got my vote.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
Very well done, Mystery Poet. A sad tale, that's true, but one far too common during times of war, I'm afraid. Bad enough that men (and women too nowadays) have to go off to a foreign land far, far away and fight a determined and unyielding enemy, only to find that once they return home from whatever campaign they were involved in that the one thing the most most in all the world besides God and country had forsaken and forgotten them.
Excellent work. I wish you all the best in the contest. You certainly got my vote.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Thank you so much, Dean, for your wonderful comments and encouragement. I truly appreciate them and your vote.
-
No worries, it's an excellent poem. Congratulations on your win!:)
Comment from seaglass
The rhyme and meter are beautiful and flows easily along as the reader absorbs this story poem. The setting could be set in today's time, as so many young men and women wait out their mate's commitment to today's wars.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
The rhyme and meter are beautiful and flows easily along as the reader absorbs this story poem. The setting could be set in today's time, as so many young men and women wait out their mate's commitment to today's wars.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I am very pleased you saw the universal theme in the poem. Thank you for sharing and your very kind feedback.
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is simply outstanding, poet. I am broken hearted for this poor woman who waited for her poor husband and cried both day and night until she heard from him. I enjoyed the history lesson in your author notes. I never knew about the slang term for coffee in the 40s. Joe. Very interesting. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
This is simply outstanding, poet. I am broken hearted for this poor woman who waited for her poor husband and cried both day and night until she heard from him. I enjoyed the history lesson in your author notes. I never knew about the slang term for coffee in the 40s. Joe. Very interesting. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I really appreciate knowing which elements of the poem/notes you enjoyed the most. Thank you so much for your grand praise and best wishes.
Comment from MissMerri
I really enjoy poems that tell a story. This one is captivating and certainly well-told in smooth-flowing lines of lilting meter and comfortable rhymes. It more than meets the prompt's requirement... telling of two loves "that bite" in two different wars. The descriptions were so good, I felt like I was watching this unfold while sitting at the next table. Truly well-done. Good luck in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
I really enjoy poems that tell a story. This one is captivating and certainly well-told in smooth-flowing lines of lilting meter and comfortable rhymes. It more than meets the prompt's requirement... telling of two loves "that bite" in two different wars. The descriptions were so good, I felt like I was watching this unfold while sitting at the next table. Truly well-done. Good luck in the voting booth.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Wow, MissMerri, you make me want to sit right down and write another one! I really appreciate your fabulous praise and am thrilled you like the poem so much. Thank you so much for sharing and commenting.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job portraying the pain of separation through war and the vows that were broken by one who vowed to wait. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job portraying the pain of separation through war and the vows that were broken by one who vowed to wait. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I am very delighted you like this poem so much. Hopper's paintings do inspire one to write stories. Thank you for sharing and your kind comments.
