A Breeze Swept Through
A Quatern126 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, this excellent form again, invented by Sally Yocom. You are such a master of it. An interesting rhyming scheme, and I like your choice for repeating line. Very visual write, nice choice of picture to accompany.
A languid leaf began to spin
as breeze swept through and brushed my skin,
but while the leaves and reeds were stirred,
the steady oak stood undeterred.
These have dance-like quality to them, and are good to read out loud.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Oh, this excellent form again, invented by Sally Yocom. You are such a master of it. An interesting rhyming scheme, and I like your choice for repeating line. Very visual write, nice choice of picture to accompany.
A languid leaf began to spin
as breeze swept through and brushed my skin,
but while the leaves and reeds were stirred,
the steady oak stood undeterred.
These have dance-like quality to them, and are good to read out loud.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Yelena - you're confusing the lovely octogram form that Sally invented with the quatern, which is a classical French form :-) I love both forms! Brooke
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Oh I am sorry. My bad.
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:-)
Comment from Adri7enne
Just a breeze, not enough to stir the oak tree. A lovely thought, Brooke! I liked the lightness you maintained throughout. Loved the repeating lines. Lovely rhyming, Brooke. A moment captured.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Just a breeze, not enough to stir the oak tree. A lovely thought, Brooke! I liked the lightness you maintained throughout. Loved the repeating lines. Lovely rhyming, Brooke. A moment captured.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Adrienne, for your thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from evilynne
I think I feel a breeze (even though I am at the office!) You have the descriptive knack down so well. Your poetry makes me see things, feel things, hear things no matter where I am at that moment. Evi
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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I think I feel a breeze (even though I am at the office!) You have the descriptive knack down so well. Your poetry makes me see things, feel things, hear things no matter where I am at that moment. Evi
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Evi,thank you so very much for your gracious and generous response to my poem :-) Brooke
Comment from rod007
A magnificent poem of the gentle breeze that doesn't have the will of the wind and has no wish for war or to lose or win. The mystery so well created of where the breeze came from or went holds an awesome tension. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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A magnificent poem of the gentle breeze that doesn't have the will of the wind and has no wish for war or to lose or win. The mystery so well created of where the breeze came from or went holds an awesome tension. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you, rod, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from CR Delport
As it gets toward spring, we have some awful winds, but my dad always used to say, ""the winds will bring the rain." Hope thats true because its very dry here. Another fine poem.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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As it gets toward spring, we have some awful winds, but my dad always used to say, ""the winds will bring the rain." Hope thats true because its very dry here. Another fine poem.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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CR, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Gargantuan2
One of the things I enjoy over the fall and spring of the year, is the winds at temperatures that do not freeze or burn. This poem is nice to read coming into such a season.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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One of the things I enjoy over the fall and spring of the year, is the winds at temperatures that do not freeze or burn. This poem is nice to read coming into such a season.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Gargantuan, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Sanku
lovely quatern with a rhythm which captures the movement of a breeze that 'brushed my skin'.Though the breeze could make the leaves shiver and reeds dance the oak stood steadfast .What a brilliant scene from nature that,with clever personification,it underlines the competition among the nature's elements and a message that everything in life need not be about winning or losing winning and losing is no big deal.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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lovely quatern with a rhythm which captures the movement of a breeze that 'brushed my skin'.Though the breeze could make the leaves shiver and reeds dance the oak stood steadfast .What a brilliant scene from nature that,with clever personification,it underlines the competition among the nature's elements and a message that everything in life need not be about winning or losing winning and losing is no big deal.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thanks so much, Sanku, for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from mommydear42
Muy interestante! As usual, Brooke, I love the poem, that
is almost always true with your poems. Thinking back, I can't remember any I did not like. Thank you so much for sharing
your talent. Linda
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Muy interestante! As usual, Brooke, I love the poem, that
is almost always true with your poems. Thinking back, I can't remember any I did not like. Thank you so much for sharing
your talent. Linda
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Linda, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from GracieAnn
Brooke, this is a pleasantly metered write with powerful alliteration in breeze brushed, languid leaf-my favorite, stayed steady strong and still-just as an oak should. I enjoyed the repeated phrases, as well. Nicely penned. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Brooke, this is a pleasantly metered write with powerful alliteration in breeze brushed, languid leaf-my favorite, stayed steady strong and still-just as an oak should. I enjoyed the repeated phrases, as well. Nicely penned. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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GracieAnn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hello Brooke,
I appreciated the simple complexity of this piece. I liked the contrast of the wandering winds as apposed to the unmovable strength of the oak, with its stoic resolve...wonderfully conceived! Loved the alliteration of "languid leaf" and the final couplet of the same quatrain.
I'm continually impressed with your ability to take the things in life that surround us, and turn them into insightful, thoughtful verse.
Hope you're having a good weekend, Bill
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Hello Brooke,
I appreciated the simple complexity of this piece. I liked the contrast of the wandering winds as apposed to the unmovable strength of the oak, with its stoic resolve...wonderfully conceived! Loved the alliteration of "languid leaf" and the final couplet of the same quatrain.
I'm continually impressed with your ability to take the things in life that surround us, and turn them into insightful, thoughtful verse.
Hope you're having a good weekend, Bill
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Bill, thank you so much :-) Brooke
