Fog
sometimes we're lost in ...19 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
Very observant and deep-thinking 3 lines, Art
It's a shame you can't fit 'mist' into the syllable count, but your words paint a great visual as they are.
I think you're saying in the last line, that 'the world' becomes in a way clearer as it's framed within the drizzle, but I may be wrong.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
  |
Very observant and deep-thinking 3 lines, Art
It's a shame you can't fit 'mist' into the syllable count, but your words paint a great visual as they are.
I think you're saying in the last line, that 'the world' becomes in a way clearer as it's framed within the drizzle, but I may be wrong.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
-
Thanks, Ray - My mind was in a fog when I wrote this - and my imagination was playing 'A foggy day in London Town' - great tune. Never been good writing acrostics.
Appreciate your wonderful, clear thinking, review ... ;o) Art
Comment from sweetwoodjax
I enjoyed reading this acrostic 5 7 5 poem, starkat, you did an excellent job writing this with so few words to describe the fog. I enjoyed reading this one..
|
I enjoyed reading this acrostic 5 7 5 poem, starkat, you did an excellent job writing this with so few words to describe the fog. I enjoyed reading this one..
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
Comment from RYME4U
You have described the fog well and the metaphor you use in your and line is well done!This is a very picturesque poem. Good job
|
You have described the fog well and the metaphor you use in your and line is well done!This is a very picturesque poem. Good job
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
Comment from bard owl
Excellent. Fog does make everything gray, particularly if there is drizzle. And cold. Seems everytime it is foggy, I feel the cold more intensely. Excellent imagery in this poem. Best of luck in the contest. Blessings, Linda
|
Excellent. Fog does make everything gray, particularly if there is drizzle. And cold. Seems everytime it is foggy, I feel the cold more intensely. Excellent imagery in this poem. Best of luck in the contest. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
Comment from Judy Couch
This I can visualize without the benefits of a picture. Anyone who has ever been outside during a fog can identify well with your description.
|
This I can visualize without the benefits of a picture. Anyone who has ever been outside during a fog can identify well with your description.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
Comment from rrabinow
Wonderfully written acrostic and haiku poem that you entered in this contest. The syllable count, and your description of fog is great. Best of luck.
|
Wonderfully written acrostic and haiku poem that you entered in this contest. The syllable count, and your description of fog is great. Best of luck.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count and it is a solid acrostic for Fog
I like the alliteration in fuzzy focus
great descriptive detail that captures the feel of having one's vision impaired by the fog - I've gotten engulfed by it a few times when driving, and it is downright eerie
I also like the consonance in fuzzy/drizzle
Brooke
|
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count and it is a solid acrostic for Fog
I like the alliteration in fuzzy focus
great descriptive detail that captures the feel of having one's vision impaired by the fog - I've gotten engulfed by it a few times when driving, and it is downright eerie
I also like the consonance in fuzzy/drizzle
Brooke
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
Comment from Acquired Taste
Interesting take - not totally sure I understand - but will reread yet again - I do accept grey drizzle paints the world - so true it is at this time of our lives. AT=/
|
Interesting take - not totally sure I understand - but will reread yet again - I do accept grey drizzle paints the world - so true it is at this time of our lives. AT=/
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
Comment from Cajungirl
Driving in fog is something I truly dread. Some mornings the fog is so think you can't see your hands in front of your face. I enjoyed your poem, best of luck in the contest,
|
Driving in fog is something I truly dread. Some mornings the fog is so think you can't see your hands in front of your face. I enjoyed your poem, best of luck in the contest,
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
Comment from Charlene0513
To starkat,
It is never a pretty sight when overcome by the heaviness that builds up in the atmosphere.
Showing alliteration on first line but necessary to stay alert.
Charlene
|
To starkat,
It is never a pretty sight when overcome by the heaviness that builds up in the atmosphere.
Showing alliteration on first line but necessary to stay alert.
Charlene
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
