Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 " Elysian Fields"A book of Poetry & Writing
76 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Sunshine breaks the dawn as stench of decay drifts on the winds our way, -- Very powerful opening, Gary. It truly draws you in as a reader...
The beast we have tempered today, but tomorrow is a new morn.
Across this desolate land we pray, God above give us one more day. --Each day, these brave young men faced certain death from a plethora of different sources. It had to be a miserable existence for both side in the trenches...
We stack the dead in holes of gray, behind the wire and trenches they lay.
Nameless are the ones who fell, all young lost hope we bury their shells
All souls have traveled up from this hell, to live in Elysian Fields. -- Vivid portrayal of the death, devastation and destruction faced on a day-to-day basis. These brave souls will forever be a part of this lands heritage and its legacy...
Excellent work, Gary!~Dean
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Sunshine breaks the dawn as stench of decay drifts on the winds our way, -- Very powerful opening, Gary. It truly draws you in as a reader...
The beast we have tempered today, but tomorrow is a new morn.
Across this desolate land we pray, God above give us one more day. --Each day, these brave young men faced certain death from a plethora of different sources. It had to be a miserable existence for both side in the trenches...
We stack the dead in holes of gray, behind the wire and trenches they lay.
Nameless are the ones who fell, all young lost hope we bury their shells
All souls have traveled up from this hell, to live in Elysian Fields. -- Vivid portrayal of the death, devastation and destruction faced on a day-to-day basis. These brave souls will forever be a part of this lands heritage and its legacy...
Excellent work, Gary!~Dean
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Dean thank you
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My pleasure as always, Gary.:)
Comment from GWHARGIS
How very sad. I liked the dreamlike mourning tone to this. It was beautifully written even though it was written about a horrible battle. The imagery was stark and numbing. Well written, Gretchen
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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How very sad. I liked the dreamlike mourning tone to this. It was beautifully written even though it was written about a horrible battle. The imagery was stark and numbing. Well written, Gretchen
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank you Gretchen
Comment from BLACKDYKE
A great dedication to those who fell
and who we remember. And we, at this juncture, are able to remember gw.
'Elysian Fields' is perfectly placed
to reflect thoughts and feelings by
those with memories long enough. And
17, the age of enlightenment? Eric
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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A great dedication to those who fell
and who we remember. And we, at this juncture, are able to remember gw.
'Elysian Fields' is perfectly placed
to reflect thoughts and feelings by
those with memories long enough. And
17, the age of enlightenment? Eric
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank you for this and the review
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My pleasure
Comment from Eric1
Hey gary, another fantastic WW1 poem my friend, a lovely tribute to those brave men who gave their all for their country, a lovely write on the mythical Greek resting place of the blessed after death, great rhyming and rhythm take this to a great flow.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Hey gary, another fantastic WW1 poem my friend, a lovely tribute to those brave men who gave their all for their country, a lovely write on the mythical Greek resting place of the blessed after death, great rhyming and rhythm take this to a great flow.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thanks Eric
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You are welcome Gary
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This old photo grips your heart in a vice, before we even get to your heart-breaking poem. These lads must be turning in their graves, wondering what they gave their young lives up for. Not much has changed, wars still go on. I read your author's notes, and read your tribute to Percy Dalling, who fell at just 17 years old. Was he a relation of yours? To think of a mere child of 17 fought and died for his country, when today they are still in school. Your WW1 series is really well written. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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This old photo grips your heart in a vice, before we even get to your heart-breaking poem. These lads must be turning in their graves, wondering what they gave their young lives up for. Not much has changed, wars still go on. I read your author's notes, and read your tribute to Percy Dalling, who fell at just 17 years old. Was he a relation of yours? To think of a mere child of 17 fought and died for his country, when today they are still in school. Your WW1 series is really well written. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank you Sandra
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration in dawn/decay drifts
and winds our way and tempered/today/tomorrow
solid rhymes and internal rhymes
vivid detail of the horrific battle field of war where the dead are decomposing
Brooke
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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good alliteration in dawn/decay drifts
and winds our way and tempered/today/tomorrow
solid rhymes and internal rhymes
vivid detail of the horrific battle field of war where the dead are decomposing
Brooke
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Please clarify alliterations
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alliteration is when two words next to each other or near each other begin with the same sound, like dawn/decay drifts
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this is not what is listed in the English literature must be a US thing
Comment from gazzagodbod
such a terrible terrible war so many casualties and how must the survivors have coped with what they had been through great poem xxgazzaxx
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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such a terrible terrible war so many casualties and how must the survivors have coped with what they had been through great poem xxgazzaxx
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thanks gazza
Comment from Artist Dilemma
It is as if you were there in person when I read this account. It is so vividly written as if it were from a diary, being there accounting every detail every day. A great write.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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It is as if you were there in person when I read this account. It is so vividly written as if it were from a diary, being there accounting every detail every day. A great write.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, deepwater, you did an excellent job presenting the horrors of that day in 1915. great imagery presented here. I enjoyed reading it...
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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this is an excellent write, deepwater, you did an excellent job presenting the horrors of that day in 1915. great imagery presented here. I enjoyed reading it...
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank you again jax
Comment from Glasstruth
Really sounds like a poem that would've been written a hundred years ago. Maybe in your previous life you were there. Nice rhyming. The first line seems a bit off, 'Sunshine breaks the dawn as stench of decay drifts on the winds our way' Maybe if, just an example: ''Sunshine breaks the dawn as stench of decay drifts on the dull dead our way' Just thought it needed something more. Don't get me wrong. It's an exceptional poem. Les
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Really sounds like a poem that would've been written a hundred years ago. Maybe in your previous life you were there. Nice rhyming. The first line seems a bit off, 'Sunshine breaks the dawn as stench of decay drifts on the winds our way' Maybe if, just an example: ''Sunshine breaks the dawn as stench of decay drifts on the dull dead our way' Just thought it needed something more. Don't get me wrong. It's an exceptional poem. Les
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank Les
