The lonely tree
Under the lonely tree of love7 total reviews
Comment from Linda Engel
I love this one. One of my favorites of yours. I've been there ( long time ago but it still pinches)he left, I know, but why, I never knew, I think he was getting too close, panic set in,
I saw him several years ago with his wife. He looked at me with adoring eyes , I looked at him as food dribbled out of his mouth. I made the right choice to move on. It only hurts for a little while.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
  |
I love this one. One of my favorites of yours. I've been there ( long time ago but it still pinches)he left, I know, but why, I never knew, I think he was getting too close, panic set in,
I saw him several years ago with his wife. He looked at me with adoring eyes , I looked at him as food dribbled out of his mouth. I made the right choice to move on. It only hurts for a little while.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
Linda that is a story within itself you could really write a great screenplay about that story and about the lonely tree
one door closes and another door opens in my life I have so many ideas going through my head at present I have been reciting my poems at the nursing homes to the old folk and public schools to the yr 5 an yr6 kids. I love their appreciation. I really think I want to entertain with my poetry I did a voice overs course the other week which I really loved and it helped with my presentation and reciting I have done a few radio interviews reciting my poems. I love doing all this stuff
xxdip
-
you have just gien me the biggest idea to write a screenplay cALLED THE LONELY TREEAND YOU AREGOING TO HELP ME BY TELLLING ME THE STORY OF LOST LOVE XXDIP
-
I'm an actor and director, I've been active in our community theatre for 25 years, Theatre was one of my majors in college. So the creative juices flow. I have enough love life stories to do a play.lol :)
-
sounds good to me. I'm going to bed and think about it. nite friend.
-
I knew it I just knew it! I am honoured and humbled to know you I remember you in that TV series you were my favourite actress!
wow you are Linda Evans!! I knew it I just knew it!
wow you have made my day!
-
I've always thought doing voice overs would be so neat. cool profession
-
THE LONELY TREE directed by Linda Engel starring Linda Engel and her sidekick dip
coming to an arts theatre near you.
did I tell you that I am joining the local arts theatre to do my poems on stage seriously I had organised this months ago I have some local musos willing to go back to acoustic grass roots and learn some of my poems to music. they say things happen for a reason in life now my life isall starting to make sense and reasoning
xxdip
-
see, sweetie, you are going to have a great creative life when you retire. staying busy is very important. that is great.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi Dip. Ah, a sad wee poem of yearning and loss. You caught the feel of these trees...hanging in the night ...
loss of love and not knowing why...it is like an eclipse.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
|
Hi Dip. Ah, a sad wee poem of yearning and loss. You caught the feel of these trees...hanging in the night ...
loss of love and not knowing why...it is like an eclipse.
padumachitta
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
thanks pad glad you liked it and a wonderful perception thanks for commenting much appreciated as usual
dip
Comment from adewpearl
stunning presentation of your poem
solid use of abab rhyming - I particularly like the wonder/under pairing
good alliteration in lunar light
and in mesmerized by moon
soulful expression of emotion in this poem about love and love lost
Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
|
stunning presentation of your poem
solid use of abab rhyming - I particularly like the wonder/under pairing
good alliteration in lunar light
and in mesmerized by moon
soulful expression of emotion in this poem about love and love lost
Brooke
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
thanks Brooke for 1: finding the time to review and 2: saying such encouraging and positive words.. I really sincerely appreciate your expertise.
xxdip
Comment from Linda England Bonam
This was a good poem, and beautiful picture! It reminded me of a friend who had just lost her husband, and every scene she witnessed she remembered doing it with him. The last stanza brought that to mind. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
|
This was a good poem, and beautiful picture! It reminded me of a friend who had just lost her husband, and every scene she witnessed she remembered doing it with him. The last stanza brought that to mind. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
thankyou so much Linda for your warm comments if icamn touch just one emotion in a reader ..Well I have achieved my goal!
dip
Comment from onebrit
I read the poem out loud because that's how I read poetry ( except on planes and public places) and it sounds perfectly fine to me. Having no poetical talent I am ignorant of should haves in poetry and just enjoy the hell out of the words! Rock on poet.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
|
I read the poem out loud because that's how I read poetry ( except on planes and public places) and it sounds perfectly fine to me. Having no poetical talent I am ignorant of should haves in poetry and just enjoy the hell out of the words! Rock on poet.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
you have just made my day!... "ROCK ON POET" right back at ya!
thankyou so much for those warm words of encouragement
dip
Comment from mfowler
Cool romance poem based on the central metaphor of the tree.
Excellent consistent use of the metaphor throughout.
Loneliness, shelter, abandonment all connected with the tree's existence. Creates a good flow of emotion.
The rhythm works very well in this and I think keeping it to four verses is perfect. You are simply creating a scene of lost love and shock in the abandonment. No elaboration is necessary. Loved:
For now you've gone; left me here
Alone and broken hearted
I think you made it, perfectly clear
But I still wonder why we parted?
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
|
Cool romance poem based on the central metaphor of the tree.
Excellent consistent use of the metaphor throughout.
Loneliness, shelter, abandonment all connected with the tree's existence. Creates a good flow of emotion.
The rhythm works very well in this and I think keeping it to four verses is perfect. You are simply creating a scene of lost love and shock in the abandonment. No elaboration is necessary. Loved:
For now you've gone; left me here
Alone and broken hearted
I think you made it, perfectly clear
But I still wonder why we parted?
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
You know m, I have reworked this poem twice now after conflicting reviews about meter "three feet" and "four feet' lines.
I have no idea what those expressions mean.
glad you like this version
thanks m
dip
-
I hope you don't mind me saying this, Dip. But, if you do manage to crack onto the meaning of iambic feet, your poetry will rise to another level. You are a natural poet, and that's why you get the rhythm right most often without ever getting the technical stuff. Me; I was exactly like that six months ago. Then the syllable counters honed in on my choppy meter. Some helped and I read up on it. I've practised and my work has come a long way. It's actually quite easy once you practise.
-
Certainly not m, I appreciate EVERYONE'S advice, I really do..4 years ago, I hadn't even typed a word of poetry in anger so it's been one big learning curve for me.
thanks for your support and kind words m i really do appreciate it.
My first passion is family my second passion is surfing but my passion to write is definitely increasing thats probably why I am so prolific in posting each day I have written over 2546 poems in the last 4 years since I discovered the passion to write usually inspired by an image or a quote on facebook I have posted some 850 poems in the last 18 months some are good, some are not so good, but in all cases they are written from the heart. And at the end of the day I just enjoy to rhyme and while i enjoy it i will continue to write them and the day my passion to write dies i won't post anymore on fanstory. Its a fantastic site but i just get a bit frustrated with the politics and the pissing in pocket sydrome to gain valuable brownie points. you see if i had my way i'd rather pay an extra 52 dollars a year subscription and have my poems reviewd bu unlimited people rather than get that prompt, CERTIFICATE EXPIRED.. which frustrates the shit out of me I am still totally perplexed how people could possibly review that many poems for member pumps to have their poems consistantly on the front page. I can spend hours reviewing and just haven't got the time to physically review any more than i do i'm afraid
"THE RICH GET RICHER AND THE POOR GET THE PICTURE"..the aeroplane, pyramid club is alive and thriving I'm afraid And no matter what you think its got to be happening
with respect dip (sorry abouit raving on)
-
Know what you mean. There's a lot of retired writers who do review prolifically. You see their names in the high numbers. Some are bloody lazy and write the same thing and substitute a couple of words; others are brilliant and respectful. But, you tell the ones who spent the big bucks to take up the front page. They are usually fly by nighters who can't write but thinks 153 reviews giving fives is a measure of their quality. I've often wondered about your 20c poems. You can't get many responses with that. Maybe, only enter every few nights and put up your best stuff. 50 cent rewards get far more and aren't that difficult to achieve. I enjoyed your rave because it's an Aussie rave and from the heart of experience. Tak my word though, you will be well served to read up on the meter side of things. Wouldn't take much to get your stuff perfect. Happy to help if you ever need advice. It would probably be a case of the blind man leading the mice, but, I do get how it feels to be told and not to know. I've also taught English for 45 years, so I can help if you want any. No pressure; just an offer.
-
that is really nice of you m i really appreciate your offer. You know I am being made redundant at my place of work after 35 years..i turn 60 the month I get made redundant. Financially I should be ok but I have so many things I want to pursue.
I have been loving going to the nursing homes reciting my poems to the residents I have been reciting them on a couple of local radio stations. i really enjoy entertaining and making people feel an emotion whether it be laughter or tears joy or sadness. this is the next phase of my life and i am looking forward to it.
Just on that about iambic technometer..You kow I am totally aware where everyone is coming from but I assure you when I read my poems live Feel i know how to iron out these meter issues purely in the way I read them that's why I wish I could say them live on here they are definitely recited better than they read I know that for certain. I actually did a radio 'voice overs' course last week which I did purely to help with saying my poems more emotionally and with the feeling I want to convey.
thanks again m for you support advice and offerings of assistance you are a good person
with respect
dip
Comment from Pyrrho
line 2: four poetic feet. Line 4 should match that but only has three poetic feet.
Same problem in second verse, but five in first line versus three in third line.
The last two lines are an oxymoron. Either she made it clear or you do not understand: but not both.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
|
line 2: four poetic feet. Line 4 should match that but only has three poetic feet.
Same problem in second verse, but five in first line versus three in third line.
The last two lines are an oxymoron. Either she made it clear or you do not understand: but not both.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
-
hahaha I don't give a fk!
I'm happy how it reads lol you anal old poet you!!
POETIC FEET? WTF are poetic feet..if it reads right that's all it matters haha..I'm not biting I'll just take my missing feet and piss off..You certainly hate boring don't you..I love it I would have given it an average..just to shitstir even more!!
luvya ya old poet nazi! haha
(still laughing writing this) you are definitely a breath of freash air around here..go and review the adewpearler and see how long you last hehe she would mute you in a second lol
-
Oh shit! I did not check the author again. I will never learn. Take another look and read it out loud. The flow is off because of the poetic foot count whether you like it or not.
-
yeah i can see what you are saying I just tried to change the feet and noe I have completely fkd the layour got to go to work i'll check later
-
ok dad have another look i think it reads better with feet tapping adjustments lol
seriously all jokes aside I really do appreciate your advice, opinion and critique I really do
xxdip
