Already Gone
haibun34 total reviews
Comment from Tonulak
Wow...many here write of breakups, lost love or remorse. You hooked me from the opening with the description of the forgotten items and it just got better. I'm surprised this one didn't win. Great job--Ted
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
  |
Wow...many here write of breakups, lost love or remorse. You hooked me from the opening with the description of the forgotten items and it just got better. I'm surprised this one didn't win. Great job--Ted
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
It didn't get very many votes either. I can only think that people don't like or appreciate the staccato sentences in haibun, but I sincerely thank you for your high accolades and 6* review.
Comment from Lulube
This short prose had me remembering just last month, of the pain in my heart and feeling dumped because I've aged and with no consideration to give an explanation so ones' mind doesn't make up all these variations as to the real reasoning for this change in heart.,
I just got part of the explanation under your poem title for comments in the voting. something about arguing with author about ????? I don't see any thing like arguing anywhere just to let you know
lulube
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
 |
This short prose had me remembering just last month, of the pain in my heart and feeling dumped because I've aged and with no consideration to give an explanation so ones' mind doesn't make up all these variations as to the real reasoning for this change in heart.,
I just got part of the explanation under your poem title for comments in the voting. something about arguing with author about ????? I don't see any thing like arguing anywhere just to let you know
lulube
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I didn't take the comment by the reviewer (who also needed to vote for me to place a comment) as anything except that it seemed too real to be fiction.
As you understand the ultimate rejection, there's not much more that I can say except I'm sorry for both of us.
-
me too
lulube
Comment from Debra White
Hi Spiritual Echo :)
Thank you so much for taking part in this contest. I enjoyed reading your haibun Already Gone. The title Wasted Time would also lend itself to your entry - the decades spent pining for the man who tore her heart to shreds when he left.
The prose part of the haibun is concise and descriptive and your haiku is great - summing up the content of the prose but could stand alone also. A really strong entry! Kindest regards, Debra
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
Hi Spiritual Echo :)
Thank you so much for taking part in this contest. I enjoyed reading your haibun Already Gone. The title Wasted Time would also lend itself to your entry - the decades spent pining for the man who tore her heart to shreds when he left.
The prose part of the haibun is concise and descriptive and your haiku is great - summing up the content of the prose but could stand alone also. A really strong entry! Kindest regards, Debra
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Very kind words. Thank you.
Comment from stanishmichelle
It's not easy to accept rejection or have our love denied, especially after being together for so long. It's a sad story, and you potrayed the woman's feelings very nicely. Good luck in the contest. Michelle
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
It's not easy to accept rejection or have our love denied, especially after being together for so long. It's a sad story, and you potrayed the woman's feelings very nicely. Good luck in the contest. Michelle
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Drew Delaney
This was good. I just searched for the Already Gone in the poem. Couldn't Locate it other than the title. I have to keep going. First thing I will be cut off. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
|
This was good. I just searched for the Already Gone in the poem. Couldn't Locate it other than the title. I have to keep going. First thing I will be cut off. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
-
I haibun the title can't be repeated, as it was pointe out to me by Lee--Humpwhistle and with that advise from a master, I removed it from the body of work.
Comment from Karen B.
Beautifully written and full of pain and the regret of time wasted. The haiku is the perfect ending to your haibun. Excellent use of the form as well as of the song title. Best wishes in the voting booth!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
Beautifully written and full of pain and the regret of time wasted. The haiku is the perfect ending to your haibun. Excellent use of the form as well as of the song title. Best wishes in the voting booth!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I appreciate the kind words.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, spiritual echo, you did an excellent job writing this haibun about the one that walked away from the ashes of their life. great imagery, love the haiku. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
this is an excellent write, spiritual echo, you did an excellent job writing this haibun about the one that walked away from the ashes of their life. great imagery, love the haiku. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
Thanks, I appreciate your review.
Comment from Leineco
Very effective haibun! Like an 8mm film flashing by in stuttered lense fashion. (I could just picture a black and white "short" with voice over reading of the text)
Killer haiku ending!
Great write.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
Very effective haibun! Like an 8mm film flashing by in stuttered lense fashion. (I could just picture a black and white "short" with voice over reading of the text)
Killer haiku ending!
Great write.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
What a very cool responce. Thanks.
Comment from Acquired Taste
'It's not worth saving.' Those are the types of words that no matter how long you live, you never forget. I think I'd have to get physical with that.
This is a truly lovely, albeit sad and forlorn poem. Beautifully said words that show the pain of separation. Best of luck in the contest. AT=/
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
'It's not worth saving.' Those are the types of words that no matter how long you live, you never forget. I think I'd have to get physical with that.
This is a truly lovely, albeit sad and forlorn poem. Beautifully said words that show the pain of separation. Best of luck in the contest. AT=/
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
You're right, some words burn deeply.
Comment from adewpearl
Your opening lines sure got my attention and created mood most effectively
This is certain to resonate with many readers who've had long-enduring marriages shattered when the other spouse decides to call it quits out of the blue
perfect pairing of the symbolic haiku and the rawly emotional prose section
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
|
Your opening lines sure got my attention and created mood most effectively
This is certain to resonate with many readers who've had long-enduring marriages shattered when the other spouse decides to call it quits out of the blue
perfect pairing of the symbolic haiku and the rawly emotional prose section
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
-
I appreciate the review and support. Haibun is still not accepted my many.
